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Why is everyone obsessed with my naughty bits?!?
Honestly! I was raised to believe that it's rude to make personal inquiries. It seems that no matter where on the internet I go, people simply cannot get through even the simplest introduction without asking me about the nature of my genitals. And it isn't much better in person, either - people just look at my facial structure and reach their conclusions on their own, and then wave it in my face, calling me "Mister" Sheogorath, or "Misses" Sheogorath, and then continuing the conversation as if they had done nothing at all wrong!
Even on this website, I was required to explicitly state which set of sexual characteristics my meaty shell displays. Not only is it rude, but it seems as if 'male' or 'female' are the only two acceptable answers. What if some unfortunate person fell somewhere in between? How are THEY supposed to answer, hmm? And yet if someone dares to withhold this information, they're made to feel as if they are the perverts! I think it's disgraceful to require people to reveal such sensitive information so soon after meeting when sex is a such an intimate topic in human society. It's a blatant display of hypocrisy. If you humans didn't make such excellent cheese, I'm not certain I would ever come back. How can you explain this outrageous behavior?!? |
Because people need to know who are you telling blondie jokes :sarcasm: Now back to reality, I think it's because gender is the most basic characteristic one has. So they can imagine who they're talking with, and... well, feel "connected" I guess o.ô
And asking "Are you a girl??" after 3 months of talking of each other is... as if you've been chatting with an "X" person, instead of a "friend-to-be" person. How do you refer to someone whose gender you do not know? Him, her, them? And all these details one doesn't really pay much attention to until they arise... Well, as long as they don't ask the size of my ______, I've got no problem xD PS: Say, how may I call you? :) |
Well, the phone is out, so I'm not certain you can. Some people have tried smoking various things in order to commune with my consciousness, but honestly, I think they just enjoy an excuse to get high. I don't mind, of course; all attempts to call upon Lord Sheogorath, Master of Madness, Insanity, and General Mental Diseasiness will be met with graciousness, patience, and National Geographic magazines in the waiting room. Or maybe Highlights. I like Highlights.
But, back to the topic at hand. Why is sex more important than, say, values? Many people don't act like their sex, but everyone acts like their values, or they aren't really their values. Although people like to pretend to have values that they don't for the sake of fashion, occasionally. And people do the same thing regarding sex. :? What are the qualities of this 'basicness?' What other physical trait is basic about a person? |
It's like, you can say you're honest, but how do you imagine a honest guy? Blondy hair and white T-shirt? At leat I like to imagine how the people on the other screen look like xD "I'm a girl, 12 years old", and I can imagine someone like my sister ^^
Now, on to less imaginative people, every single detail can give you a little information. If someone said they were 12 years old, you know you shouldn't tell them sex jokes, or if they're a woman, do not tell a machism joke or how your ex-gf was a total bitch like all the f***ing women on the world. Also, it seems to be the information easiest to get apart from the "What's your favorite color" one. It's a two options question. It's short and simple, yet gives you an idea of the other person. Some people feel uneasy when asked "What's your sexual preference?" because gays still aren't totally accepted in society, but "Are you a boy?" would be easier to give out because there are men and women equally. Also, gender isn't a detail but more like a base. Everyone is this or that [Unless you were born XXY] but it's the details that make you unique, and that's what's called personal details. If someone asked me if I had a mole on my pinky finger in my right hand, I would surely be creeped out, but if someone asked me if I was a boy, I wouldn't, right? And gender isn't more important than values in any way. It's just that values are a matter of finding them yourself, so I wouldn't have a biased opinion on someone or something like that [apart that you learn more and more of the other person and create a stronger bond with just watching, your eyes never lie, right?] :) PS: Then I shall name you Sheo', unless you state otherwise. |
Personally, I don't think it's that privacy-invading to ask people what gender they are on a site like this one. In my experience, people just give their avatar the sex they feel most like (so transgender people choose the gender opposite to their physical one).
As for people saying Mr/Ms/Mrs, that's because they're trying to be polite... until someone invents such a title for "inbetween" people, we've got to make do with the titles available. They continue the discussion as if they've done nothing wrong, because they don't expect anyone to be offended by a politeness title. It is very rude, especially in formal environments, to not use a title when speaking to someone. You HAVE to say, for example, "Mr/Mrs Johnson" - you cannot just call someone "Johnson". What alternative do you suggest? If someone would ask me what my sex is and then ask me about the size of my boobs/penis/..., then I would be offended. But asking someone if they're male or female isn't, it's just convenient to know if you should refer to someone as "he" or "she" rather than "it". |
Interesting points you make. What we need is a gender neutral term that complies with the formal (Ms)missus/(Mr)mister which we now have.
I'm not very fond of miss or mrs ( mistress) because of how they are about marital status. So I do not like being referred to as miss...I used to get downright offended. We do have si and hir as gender neutral pronouns. So far this seems like a niche thing with most people getting confused when I use these terms. They'll catch on and learn. It's too bad that intersexed people are not socially acceptable and people born that way generally are subjected to surgery. Society doesn't seem ready for this yet, I think it will come. |
Well, if you get offended, remember these people aren't your kid next door who's always there peeping over the fence, so the best way to cope would be to correct them. If they call you Miss, you can correct them into calling you Mrs. /Mr. /[insert random nickname here] or whatever. It's not like they're offending you on purpose right? :P
PS: Are "si" and "hir" english neutral pronouns? I didn't know these existed o.o Maybe if Sheo' spoke spanish si wouldn't have that problem, since there's always a way to make anything sound genderless xD |
Yeah while I still don't care for the title miss because of the cultural background it comes from, I understand people are not trying to offend. It doesn't come up very often at least. I suppose when and if it does maybe I'll just say I prefer (ms) missus.
Si and hir are terms for an evolving language. We didn't have words for this so someone got creative and invented them. Yes they are meant to be for English speaking people. I haven't thought about it, I suppose other languages could or have done the same thing. |
Well, I think we've had "le" since a long ago. "Le ofendieron" = "He/she was offended" ^_^' Say, what would be a way to call Sheogorath without offending the mighty starter of this debate?
PS: Nice avatar -^^- |
*shrugs*...
BTW, I suggested an intersexed char for Gaia and I was shot down by a few. A few others supported me and one poster made a picture of what the char would look like. I thought this would make a nice choice and it would be nice to see more acceptance for this even if it's only on a game. |
An Intersexed character? I'm all for it, but what would be the look of this character? How should we refer to the character in terms of 3rd person adjectives/pronouns?
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This char would have inbetween features. Wider hips then a male char and more narrow then a female char. I suppose they could come up with something. Already have hir and si.
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I personally rarely ask someone what gender they are on the internet, mostly because i don't care unless they're saying something that's freaking me out. Avi sites ask you a gender, not because they want to know what gender you are, but because they want to make the avi the gender you want it to be. I have both a male and female avi. There really is no such a thing as both or neither. Hermaphridites are born with both organs but are rarely physically angrogenous. There are of course exceptions to this, but they're rare. If i were to ask you if you were male or female in real life, it wouldn't be because i cared, it would be to make sure i didn't offend you. Most people have a preference. When my friend is in drag, he doesn't want to be referred to as mister or him. When he's in a dress and a wig he wants to be referred to as she or miss. Just like when I'm in pants and a top hat, i'm a gentalman and i prefer to be called James. (i'm actually Jamie, an english deviation of James) if someone ran up to me while I was dressed like a man and called me miss, or Maya (as this is my chosen female name), I'd be pretty pissed. In closing, I don't believe it's a personal question. You personally may identify with both genders, but the rest of us simp,y cannot wrap their minds around a genderless person... |
Oh my god, I was looking for an Ellen quote about those parents who put bows on their little bald babies, how gender identifying (er projecting) starts so early, but I found this instead and its much funnier.
Bows You have to read the whole thing, it's relevant here, but I can't cut and paste it. Here is an excerpt though: Quote:
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actually it's an on again off again thing. in the early 1700s in places like England and France, it was very common too. around 1750 it got kinda weired. until the mid 1800s *a little over 100 years this was practiced, mostly in high standing families* boys were dressed in frilly clothes and dresses until they absolutely had to stop wearing them *Around the age of thirteen* when gender was then picked up and taught by the father how to dress and act like a man.
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Men should be able to wear dresses and skirts ( beyond a kilt type).
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i agree. my friend is really hot when he's dressed up, even without with wig. >> course he's got a belly dancer stomach that i'm so frigging envious of. D: I put him in some of my outfits and they looked really good on him.
what i find weired about the people in the 17-1800s is the mothers ambition to make her son a girl. if it's a personal choice than it's fine, but to make a child wear these clothes it's a little strange and i imagine degrading to the younger boys when the older boys ar no longer wearing dresses, and they still are. |
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