How much does the talking work?
 

I wonder every time someone tells you that we should try talking instead of complaining or yelling or fighting...and most of us I'm sure have tried that "talking option" so ..I was wondering how well did that work in different occasions,....sometimes as a teacher I tell my students to TALK to their parents like...sit them and turn the tv off , make them understand you are being pretty serious about it...but they often come back saying that didnt work...

So how well did it work for you or does usually work for you with your parents /family/friends/couple to sit and actually talk about your problems?

work some times, sometimes not, sadly often not... but then you have to outpower them with muscle strength for some of those annoying ass-holes that can't leave you alone, did had a problem with one kid a few years back, and the only thing he understood was raw power...
but I guess the most trouble kids got so much issues at home, that talking to their parents just might make it worse, ot they just don't care =( but with me, talking works (as long they are not nagging on my personal opinion, but I never caused that much trouble)

Talking works most of the time for me, but then I've never really had any huge dramatic fights... Oh wait, never mind. I can't say that anymore. However, I'm not a talkative person by nature, so it generally takes the other person stepping up. I'm not opposed to talking once it's brought up.

Then there's the play fighting where you yell at each other naturally--what my brothers and I do. We don't really mean anything by it. It's all in good fun, so I suppose that doesn't really count. ...but if we did only talk, it would be a kinda boring life, wouldn't it?

I've come to realize it usually doesn't work so well with children initiating the conversation, or even adults talking to their parents, sadly - because one of the most common mistakes parents make is simply not taking their children's concerns seriously, no matter how seriously or calmly they talk about it. :no:

That said, I'm lucky - I can talk to my dad at least.

Just calmly talking something out with no distractions works really well for me with my friends, or with my dad...and often with others as well. However...unfortunately, there are some jackasses who won't take anything seriously if it comes from a certain person, or isn't just said in...raw power.

...I prefer to avoid said jackasses, personally. >w>

You're a teacher? That's cool. :0 What ages do you teach?

I honestly have learned at a very young age what to tell my parents and what not to.

They want to know enough to feel they're "involved", but they don't really care. :/ The worst is my mom. She thinks she's my confident or something. I've never been big about talking about anything, and she always comes in, sits at the end of my bed and tries to talk to me.

But like. When I actually want to talk to her, she never listens. When I need her advice, she's just "too tired to deal with my teen drama" even though it's almost never that.. Like, if I need her advice on choosing a career, or dealing with spiritual anxiety, she's just like 'LOL, U R KID. :3'

I've never talked to my dad about anything and I never will. :/

I have some major nerves when it comes to talking with my parents about anything relevant or important in life. @[email protected] It never feels like they take me seriously, and on the few times I think they do, they say that they'll talk about it and tell me their answer or what they think and... I never hear about the subject again. :/

Then there's the trouble I have where I can't tell if my parents are judgmental or not, so I don't have even a glimmering on how I think they'll react so I can prepare myself. Our 'talks' always end up with my mom and I yelling ourselves horse at each other, then being in foul moods with each other for the rest of the day. And my dad's always at the computer or busy with work he needs to finish, so I rarely get to talk about serious topics with him. Which is unfortunate. Because between the two, it always feels like my dad takes my concerns and troubles seriously when I talk with him.

So most the time I end up turning to friends/my brother for advice or venting instead of actually talking with my parents. D:

It works if everyone is level headed and calm. If everyone is still mad it really doesn't work. People also have to realize not everyone has the same views. I find that talking works most of the time if the person isn't to stubborn.
Me I hate talking to my parents. Friends I have no issues with.

Talking with my parents about problems I have never works. My problems are usually with them, so they take on the "We're always right, you're always wrong" mentality and refuse to actually listen to my complaints. For example, my parents know I'm an atheist, but they say I have to go to church or find another place to live. I don't make enough to live on my own yet, and I also don't have my own car. Whenever I try to reason with them about this, they basically tell me to shut up, my mom accuses me of not wanting to be part of a religion that requires me to do anything, and I get "prayed" for.

When I have arguments with my mother alone, there is no use talking to her. She's an incredibly selfish woman, and it's her way or nothing. When I try to express my opinion, I am called selfish and asked why I can't do anything I'm told (she forgets that I do plenty to help her). I think it's kind of funny that she still asks me for favors and tries to guilt me into doing things for her after treating me in such a manner.

With friends, it does work. Friends are on my level, so they understand. There are some things I simply won't forgive, but others can be worked out after awhile. I might have to avoid talking to someone for a few days just to clear my head, though.

I have never really had a sit down and talk with my parents. Kind of odd, then again I tend to call my mum and chat for hours. And when I am home we have a fair number of philosophical debates. So I have no reason to make a formal sit down and talk type thing as we communicate often because we have a good relationship. I was never one of those kids who hate my parents in fact we get along fairly well, and it has only improved as I have left home. So that has allways helped...but there are things my mother and I will never talk about and I am fine leaving it that way... as she said there are things I never need to know about your life, and I have kept to that as I know she dosen't kneed to know it all any more.

As for talking with people over conflict I am pretty reserved about it as I don't like the conflict bit of it. I either ignore it or eventually get up the nerve to say some thing.

Eh it depends on the person who you are talking too. but mostly pplz like to yell or cuss each other out that i've seen. xD;;

I think it's usually because of what the situation is. Parents tend to know what's best so if doesn't matter if you complain or just talk, talking is nicer, it helps a parent understand your feelings and it keeps from having fights, but sometimes a parent will say 'no' no matter what like if you want to go to a party that's not supervised, or your bf is home alone and wants you to go over. Sometimes they're just protecting you when you think it's not fair or that they don't trust you.

It's all about knowing how to deliver the message, really.

My parents tell me and brother to talk nicely instead of fighting, but instead my brother is so ignorant that he ends up yelling and then I end up arguing with him xD

It really depends on what we were talking about. If whatever it was pissed off my parents the yelling would start. But I had very active parents, so it's not like I had much to say that they didn't know. Saying "I just didn't feel like it" was not going to stop the argument about anything having to do with school, or home. I never had any thing to say about my relationships as I didn't have one till I moved out of their house. As they have never been bad about any of my boyfriends, I can assume they would have been cool with anyone I would have dated in high school, had I dated.

Talking only works if people are willing to listen. Venting might feel nice, but all it does is cause you more stress unless a resolution is found. To vent for the sake of venting just stresses you out and the person you are venting on and solves nothing. I'd say, if you set out before hand that you wish to find a solution to the problem you are about to discuss, talking can be very therapeutic and downright worth the effort.

Growing up in my house, there wasn't very much time for talking. Yay! Dysfunctional families!

I'm actually still learning how to talk to my mom. We only discuss superficial things, such as the how our day went, who was talked to, what we're doing tomorrow, things along those lines. Never anything deeper.

My dad on the other hand, in the past year, if you added the time of our conversations - it would probably be about two hours or so. We have a hard time talking and not screaming at each other. So we kinda of tend to ignore one another now to keep the peace. But even then, it's hard.

It was kind of a shock when my boyfriend pointed out that I was always fighting him. Even when he was doing nothing wrong. It was weird knowing that I was subconsciously imitating the way my parents acted my whole life. I've gotten better, but I still catch myself falling into their patterns.

I think you have to train yourself and the people around you to talk things out. And point out that they were fighting you, especially when they don't even realize it. I come from a long line of angry people that don't know how to talk, so I'm trying to take care with how I treat others close to me, and how I listen to them talk.