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-   -   The Absolutely True Story of Tristan and Julie (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115291)

ghostPastry 04-25-2009 06:50 AM

The Absolutely True Story of Tristan and Julie
 
Tristan loved her.
He'd always loved her, whether or not he could truly admit it to himself.
He couldn't put his finger on why he loved her, not that it mattered. Was it her hair? The way it was straight until it hit her shoulders, and then it got wavy in all the right places until it hit her waist. Or the way it was just the right caramel shade of brown? Or was it the typical cliche, her eyes? How they were green-blue one minute and gray the next?

Or maybe it was her grace. Every movement seemed more graceful that Tristan could ever hope to be. And she wasn't even a dancer.
But if not a reason, then it was a moment that Tristan could put his finger on. The moment he fell in love with her.
She was at the playground. More specifically on the swings. This wouldn't be out of the ordinary, except that she had to be at least 15, and she wasn't smoking. So Tristan watched her swing. She swung slow at first, but then she gained in speed and height, and giggled the entire time. Then, at the highest point, she just... jumped.
And of course she fell.
And of course Tristan caught her.
And she just giggled and said "Thank you, stranger. I'm Julie," and got up. Just like that! Tristan stood and called after her "Oh! You're welcome! I'm Tristan!" Did she even hear him?

------------


"Dude, that's pathetic," Trevor said.
"What!? Why?" I cried.
"You wrote a story about a girl you met at a playground... in third person," Hallie said in a bored voice.
"So? It's not pathetic!"
"If it's any consolation, I think it's cute!" Kara said with a giggle.
"Well, that's reassuring." I said, putting my head in my hands.
"Wha-at?" Kara cried.
"You think everything's cute," Hallie said, with an eyeroll.
"Come on, Tristan, it's okay. Hey, at least you've seen her since," Trevor said, in a sad attempt to cheer me up.
"Yeah, and I said 'Hey... aren't you that girl from the playground? Julie? I mean, uh, not that I remember your name or anything. I mean, obviously I do... Uh, I gotta pee.'"
"You remember things wayyyy too well, dude." Trevor said.
"I know!" Kara giggled again.
"Quit giggling, you're giving me a headache!" Hallie said with a glare.
"Okay, I think we should leave now. We're getting dirty looks from the baristas." Trevor said, glancing around.
So, we all got up and left Starbucks. And I hadn't even finished my coffee... er, Latte... Cappuccino? Whatever it was, it had foam.
~~~~~

Author's notes: So, I wrote this in an email, originally, as a short story of sorts. It doesn't really have a conclusion, so I think I might do something with it one day... Feedback would be much appreciated! :heart:

Asake 04-29-2009 11:24 PM

It's cute, very light and airy. The last several sentences seem out of place, but the base plot has a lot of potential. I like the
Quote:

And of course she fell.
And of course Tristan caught her.
It's well worded and helps set the atmosphere for their meeting without over-dramatizing it.

ghostPastry 04-30-2009 05:34 AM

Thank you so much!

Yeah, I'm not terribly great at endings, haha.


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