Menewsha Avatar Community - wait around && i'll smile again

Tayla's Writings

This thread is where I'm going to put what I write. I hope you like them!
&& Please feel free to leave comments on them. I'm open to constructive critcism. =)
I'll update it every now and then considering I love to write.
Thank you and have a fantastic day!!

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I Gave You My Life
I sit and stare at your empty face
No smile, no frown, emotion; no trace
Closed eyed, cold hands, please wake up
I beg, I plead, still not enough
I love you, I need you, can you not see
Your smile, your touch, don't desert me
Lost hope, lost faith, one last kiss
This one last touch gives me what I miss
Your eyelids flutter, life struggles though
Your body is warm, no longer blue
Tears of joy flow down my face
I hold tight to you lover, a warm embrace
You whisper, I love you with a single tear
Unfortunate, unfair, I won't get to hear
My body grows cold, my life fails me, lover
I gave you my life, I'll love you forever.

Misery's Monsters
Her body floating in a swan road.
On the news, missing girl, only 16 years old
Bashed in head, slits on her skin
Detective scowls, drops her head, "Most likely some disgusting men."
Black abyss shows up to hide her body.
Death laced eyes, water washed away the smell of her rotting.
Tears seep out as the body bag zips.
Detective Misery tries to walk and trips.
Wondrous things in the world muddled by the dirt.
Dark, morbid, sick monsters wreak havoc and seek to hurt.
Detective Misery tries to breathe, pills and medical aid fails to work.
She clutches at her heart, "Why'd you hurt my baby, long ago? Monster, where do you lurk?"
Miles down the road, Monster growls and grunts.
Not yet ready for the work, for the hunt.
Glues down words for her to see.
"Detective Misery, bet you can't find me."

Persevere
"The higher you fly, the farther you fall."
But a bird with clipped wings is no bird at all.
If you're gonna do something, do it right.
Stand for what you believe in, be ready to fight.
So if you fall and land on your butt.
Get back up, fly again, avoid the rut.
Failures will happen, in life they do.
Hold steady, pursue, obtain, and stay true.

She Waits
I'll wither in this lifetime.
My existence will shrink away.
Fading, this world of mine.
My body will soon decay.

As she stands on her balcony,
Auburn hair billowing in the wind,
She runs her fingertips along the ledge, hauntingly,
Waiting for the love, she's fought her life to defend.

Whispers through her lifetime.
Accusing glances thrown her way.
She speaks wounded words, line for line.
She has spoken them every day.

He had said he had to travel.
Said there was a war at sea.
Told her he'd return after the battle.
They'd settle down, have kids, be happy.

Her soul and spirit were bound.
Glares and unspoken words sent to her each day.
Rumors of another love he'd found.
Never mattered, here she'd always stay.

"He's not returning for her," they'd whispered.
"Why does she bother? He's probably found happiness some other place."
"I bet her hasn't even missed her."
But she waited for him anyhow, her mind filled with his face.

Not once had they let up, not one little breath.
Little did they know, his body had been lost at sea.
They'd never known of his unfair death.
The messenger, drowned, naught could've saved him, bargain nor plea.

So she withered in her lifetime.
Her existence had shrunk away.
She faded from this world of mine.
But she stills waits in the after life, day after day.

White Noise(This was a dream I had a while back.)
"This way sir, I'll show you the wall-altering room. This is where everyone shops, on our world, for house renovations. You choose which wall layout you want, upload it on your hand held, and load it to your house port. It's simple really." The middle-aged darker man grunted as if unsatisfied, I disregarded it and continued on, stopping as I heard him talk. "I thought this was a hospital, you know, for the sick?" The thought hadn't occurred to me since the early 2000s, I gave him a look of confusion and continued on, "Well, you see sir, it is, we just have other things that are located at hospitals on earth now. It makes everything easier. Our technology is highly respected. However, I can show you the children in the other sector of the building." I led the man to the sick childrens' rooms, careful not to wake them. Cancer had claimed most of their energy. However, Claren, one of the little girls who was sick was awake crying over a nightmare she had had. I asked to be excused from the man and went to the child's aid. She whimpered, "I had a nightmare that my mom didn't want me anymore so she put me in here. I dreamt she was telling daddy that I didn't have much life left anyways." I whispered to the little girl telling her how untrue the dream's whispers were and sang her back to sleep. As I turned her bed lamp off a tear escaped my eye and I wiped it away as I returned to the man's side. "Don't their parents come to check in on them." Sorrow and pain troubled my expression as I glanced away, "No sir, their parents tell us they have no use for them any longer. I am the only one who cares for these children. Today's world has no time for broken beauties." I led him back down the hallway to show him the structural room. Suddenly the lights failed and the voice of the computer interrupted our tour, "System malfunction, system crashing, remove all personnel from the premises." Something cracked over the back of my skull and my vision started to fail. Black unconsciousness captured my whole existence.
......I awoke with a headache and blurry vision. Blinking a few times I realized I was in a vehicle in the passenger seat. A strange man of unknown origin was seated in the driver's seat. Claren sat in the back, happily chatting with her doll. I was taken aback at the curls on the child's head, the cancer had claimed her hair earlier on in her life and I had never gotten to see her in healthy state. However, now her head was covered in gorgeous red curls and she no longer possessed the pale pallor she had once had at the hospital. I stared at the road unfolding in front of us, looking up wide-eyed at the trees. I had not seen a tree since the early 2000s. "The technology was making everyone sick, it hit a lot of children first. I crashed the hospital system a few months ago and took you and Claren, you were the only ones to survive. The whole planet is trying to deal with no technology, however, their are some glitches." A tear streaked down my cheek as I gazed out the window, trees flickering on and off, like an old television with a bad case of white noise.

Updated 1 June 2009;; 12:51am

I Cave
I fall asleep real angry, with tears creeping from my eyes
The next day is so tiresome, I wander exuding yawns and sighs.
Marriage, children, dreams; We talked about the works.
I have to concede it, it's broken, it aches, it really fucking hurts.
A year and a half of being together, and then we were no more.
I cried, I moped, I sobbed; I felt as low as the floor.
Swore we'd still be buddies, friends through thick and thin,
But not even two weeks later, you're back in the game again.
I turned back to see you standing at the chinese wall.
I saw her run and hug you, I felt so lost, I felt so small.
I guess I made it easy for you to walk out of my life
You didn't truly want children and dreams, or me as your wife.
"Easily replaced," the words are seared in my mind and on my soul.
What was it that made you stop loving me? What made you want to go?
I fight to hold onto the anger, to hatred I wish I could save,
But when I'm in my bed alone, I think about you, cry, and I cave.

And You Left(This was a dream also. I'm working on the second part of it, though I'm sure it's too sexual to post up here. Sorry.)
I was perched upon the rock pillar, swinging my legs to and fro, and basking in his presence, as was my usual routine. Every weekend at the library, we would sit outside of the entrance of the musky old wonderland, on the brick wall for about 15 minutes just talking and sharing first and true love's natural and luminescent glow. This particular weekend had been a little off. I had left my flip-flops at the little shop across the road from where we sat. With the hot asphalt scorching the bottoms of my feet, I decided to sit on the wall. He was concerned with my unease, first love's usually are. I sat thinking about all of the other times we had followed our secret little routine. With his mother working at the library it seemed like the perfect place to just be with each other. Being just as close to his mother was also a major benefit. With my traveler's heart and soul, my haven was the library. It was a way to escape to foreign places, times, and other worlds altogether, lose myself in the books forever. He brought me crashing back to reality with a kiss to the cheek. He stepped back and told me he would be right back. "Wait," I whispered. "Where are you going?" He sighed and cocked a crooked grin, "Daydreaming again?" My heart fluttered at his exasperated smile. I nodded, a tad befuddled and embarrased for drifting so easily again. "I told you I was going to get your shoes so your feet wouldn't hurt." My mouth formed a little "oh" shape and I nodded, my brows creasing in confusion. Why was he concerned with my feet, what are they for, if not merely walking? A feeling of dread seemed to instantly spread through my heart, sending a dull throbbing pain to my stomach, which was honestly making me a bit nauseated. "I want another kiss," I protested, sadness tainting my eyes. I reassured myself, it was just across the road, he would be right back. He smiled again, making my stomach jerk at the beauty. To think, one curve of his lips and he had me wrapped around his finger. He stepped forward again, holding me steady at the elbows as he planted an excrutiatingly haunted kiss upon my lips. The kiss lasted for what seemed to be forever, making the dread in my stomach worsen. When he pulled back and smiled it didn't quite reach his eyes. I argued with myself. What is wrong with you? He'll be back in no time. It scared me that I had become so dependant on him to make me happy. He was such a major part of me. He told me he loved me and that he would be right back. I slid from the wall, wincing as my feet touched the heated concrete. I waved him goodbye as I entered the library, sending a big smile in his mother's direction. She welcomed me to the library and we talked for 20 minutes about nothing. I checked the wall clock, curious as to why he wasn't back yet. Telling his mom I was going to go book-hunting, I stepped away from the main desk and started to walk toward the back. The darkness that was throughout the library came crashing to my attention and scared me. It was cold and lonely where I had ventured. Spinning racks that held books for the hopeless romantic seemed to creak in laughter at my solitude. The shelves with ancient-like texts seemed to tower me snickering at my racing heart. As the darkness seemed to close around me, my mind repeated over and over, "Why hasn't he come back yet? Is he coming back for me? Where is he? Why is he not with me now?" The panic attack made my breathing speed, to the point of hyperventilation, I let out a whimper as I slid down the shelf, falling out of myself. I came awake abruptly in the same place with an elderly librarian fanning me with a folder. I pitched myself forward, instantly wanting to know where he was. "Honey, sit back now, you're gonna' make yourself sicker. When was the last time you ate babe, you're as pale as a ghost." I stared wide-eyed at the woman, asking where his mother was. The woman looked at me confused, "No one with that name has ever worked here, child." I shook my head, annoyed that the woman had no idea who I was talking about. I looked up, realizing that the library wasn't nearly as dark as it had been. I forced myself up and away from the worried old woman. Panic struck me again as I raced to find his mother to ask of him. She wasn't in the library, nor were her posters, her sign sheets, nothing that ever held a trace of her was in my haven. I rushed outside, fighting angry and confused tears. "What's going on?" I whispered to myself. Later on everyone told me that him nor his family had ever existed. That they were figments of my imagination, not real. That I hadn't been eating well and it had brought on hallucinations. I knew they were all lies though. All of them, whispered lies and envious stares. Because if all of our love and he were not real, I may ask, what happened to my shoes that day?