Am I right for being upset?
 

I bought my dad a gift card to his favorite restaurant/buffet for both father's day and his birthday, which are only days apart. After he received the gift card on his birthday, I told him that I would take him to the restaurant if he wanted too. Of course, he agreed to it. He was off that day, and I barely spend any time with him due to his job.

Earlier today I went downstairs and noticed my mom got those advertisement papers you get at stores, restaurants, etc. I asked her where she got it from, after she showed me something from it, and she claimed that she found it. After that I went over to the cookie jar and noticed a fortune cookie sitting next to it. I asked my mom where she got it, thinking that she went down the street and got some egg rolls for lunch or something.

Nope. My dad took her to the restaurant, using my gift card.

My mom told my dad that I knew. He just looked at me and started going on and on how good the food was.

It just...hurts that my dad used the gift card, tried to hide it from me, and then started rubbing it in my face.

wow...yea, you do have a right to be upset. i mean, i don't know if he intentionaly ment to hurt you or offend you in any way, but still, you'd think he'd either atleast tell you about it or invite you to go with him...but yea. very sorry that happend though. but i guess its good that he enjoyed himself atleast and actualy used the card...but still, theirs pluses and minuses about the whole situation. hopefuly next years a bit better. just get him a card next time i guess.

Yes, you do have a right to be upset. It was his gift card to do what he wanted with, but if he specifically promised that you two could go together and then went with your mom instead, I understand why you're hurt. I'm guessing the reason he was going on about how great the food was wasn't to intentionally rub it in, but to thank you for thinking of such a good restaurant for him to go to.

I think that you should let him know that you're upset about it directly rather than just holding it against him silently. Let him know that your feelings are hurt because you feel like you never get to spend any time together and you were hoping to spend time with him going to that restaurant. Ask him if you two can set a date to do something else together (doesn't necessarily have to be something that costs money). He probably didn't realize that it was so important to you and what the reasons are that it was important to you, hopefully once you explain things will go a bit better.

Also, an idea for next year is to just tell him you want to take him out for father's day rather than getting him a gift card. That's what I usually offer if I care whether the person goes to the restaurant with me or someone else.

You have every right to be upset. I would be. I agree with silver that you should try to set a date for something else to do with him.

But i think you should be just as upset that they tried to hide it from you. And you should definitely bring that up. Hiding things from family members can make your relationship deteriorate.

but good luck with that.

I'd be upset if I were you. They tried to hide it :l They at least owe you an apology.

You should go to your father and calmly tell him you were looking forward to spending that time and having that special moment with him and felt hurt that..not only did he not take you, but he tried to cover the fact up that he did go without you.
I don't think he was rubbing it in your face on purpose...maybe he was trying to say the food was really good and he liked it? I dunno. It all depends on how your dad is.

How rude D: You definitely have a right to be upset!

If he wanted to go with your mother, he should have just said that to begin with. Saying he'll go with you, then lying and covering it up is not cool at all.

I think you definitely have a right to be upset, if only for the reason that he said he would do something with you and then backed out. I agree with Juniper_Silver. Maybe you could suggest making a "date" for you two to go out to dinner and mark down the specific time and day on a calendar so he can see it.

wow!
you definately have the right to be upset!
that was a thoughtful gift from you, and agreed to eat with you at the restaurant.
maybe he forgot about the promise and used it to spend time with his wife, but they definately shouldn't have tried to keep it from you like they did.
it just shows that they knew that it would probably hurt your feelings.
your father owes you an apology!
your mom does as well, actually, for trying to hide the event from you.

I understand that you are mad, but did you talk to him and tell him that you were hurt? It was a gift that you gave him and it is his right to use it as he pleases. Were you very clear to him that you wanted to go with him. Perhaps he thought that you were saying that because you gave him the card. You don't have to have a special occasion to spend time with your dad. The next time he is off (and I know you said that is rarely because of his job) tell him you want to go out with just him. That would give you the opportunity to tell him how you feel. Don't be too hard on your dad. Talk and give him the chance to explain.

I know you are upset and really wanted to spend time with him. But I dont think he did it intentionally to hurt you. He just doesnt realize that you really wanted to go with him. If I was you I would tell him. He really doesnt know he hurt you. And he wont if you dont explain it to him. I bet he will make it up to you by taking you out to dinner. Just try it.

Yeah you have the right to be upset I would be upset too its not nice what he did , he may of not done it on purpose but you still should be upset.

You most definitely have the right to be upset. That was just an awful move pulled by your dad. It's one thing to go with your mom, but trying to hide it is another. Sometimes when people do bad things, it might all be okay if there's an explanation or an apology, but if you try to deny and hide it. That's when it just get's bad. I hope things get better.

I would be hurt. You have every right to be upset. Like a few others I would go and tell him that what he did hurt your feelings because he doesn't spend a lot of time with you anyways and you were looking forward to him and you going to the restaurant and hanging out even if for a little while.

Sounds like my fiancee's father, which is why when he moved out he no longer talked to the selfish wanker. That man is full of nothing but broken promises..... Yeah you have a right to be pissed. If he keeps shit up like this when its time for you to move out then NO you don't have to keep in touch with him. For my Victor it just leads to anger and anxiety attacks.