I feel yah Daria for the family drama. We've been kinda neck and neck with having the kids and little money to do much with them. I've finally paid off what I can with this paycheck, but I'm worried as hell how we're going to get through this drought in work. I'm seriously thinking of applying for a job working at the local grocery store's photo and film department, but I've been warned ahead of time the boss is a bitch and a slave driver. Aaron's been like oh well it's better than nothing. True, but I don't really care to have someone breathing down my neck. It's going to be a rude awakening to go from that to the current setup I've got now. I keep on trying to hold tight waiting for work to update me on what the hell's going on, but nothing as of yet.

I'm really irritated right now as Aaron just came in here and proceded to get in a fight with me over the fact I don't do as much - he's put in 38 hours and I put in 33. Apparently he's done more housework. I baby sat the kids the two days I had off, and fair enough I was in bed all day yesterday but I felt like crap. I haven't slept worth a damn in the past week the kids have been here. I tell you what...having them around really puts a strain on any relationship. They're well behaved for the most part but I must of gotten after then 3 or 4 times this afternoon alone to pick up their shit from the living room or I was going to throw it out. Finally, Aaron sat in the middle of the living room overseaing them, getting them to work and came in here and tried to say they did more work than I did. Well it's about damn time they did something. Sure I've been working since 9am this morning and I woke up at 8:30, had breakfast and went straight to work. I haven't had time to do much else and I tell you what the mood I'm in I'm just going to go straight back to bed. I went to bed about 1:30-2am last night and kept on waking up so I'm crankier than I'll get out.

I'm fine on chores when the kids are NOT here. It's too hard trying to clean up after them, especially as they sit around on their butts watching TV all day and when I try to get them to help they start sighing and rolling their eyes. I get extremely annoyed, and even more annoyed when I have to constantly get after them to do their job properly. It's like why even bother.

Ugh.

I think the fact that your not their actual parent can't be making things any easier on ya either! Kids are hard, no matter how much the media tries to glamorize it...They are just hard, and any age.

It's just hard ya know? We're still newlyweds...and still learning how to "argue" without killing each other (the other day I got so frustrated with him I hit him with our throw pillow a few times...It didn't hurt him, got out my frustrations a little and was kinda funny too. I just have no clue what to do with his pessimistic outlook on EVERYTHING! Okay, if we had bought the house now instead of 2 years ago, we'd have a much nicer house for a LOT less money...But we didn't...And our house is just not that bad...It's only 2 years old! I can't change the past, I can't go back and undo our decision to buy the house...So why bother regretting it? Regret gets me what? Oh that's right...NOTHING. Well, maybe it does bring about feeling shitty. Okay...So why do that? He sits there and says "Other people will get to retire well before we do because we bought this house"...Um, whose worrying about retirement now? A lot can happen before then. Who knows, maybe we'll have other things happen to us that will be amazing....Besides, the housing market goes up and down. So it is down for now, that doesn't mean it's down forever! As long as we sit tight eventually we will at least be able to break even on this place.

GAH!

Sometimes the pessimism is just overwhelming. I am going to go to a friend of mine's place for a "girls" weekend at the end of the month. As much as I love him...I think the break, and quiet time with my friend watching chick flicks and drinking wine...Will be a nice mini vacation.

daria, he should be happy that at least you guys own a house. And it is an investment. The markets are always going up and down. And one day your house will be worth more again. But for now, you have a home to call your own. I don't. And I probably won't... ever. I will be renting forever, I'm sure.

Ya see, that's my point! We have a home, and it's nice....Sure, if we bought NOW, we could have a LOT nicer house for a lot less...but why do that to yourself? Why spend time on the "Ooohhh whoa is me" crap. Just deal with whatcha got ya know? We could live in expensive places where we will never be able to own a home, or paint the walls...Etc.

Why view life as half empty? IT's fucking half full and I am tired of his pitty pot crap!

Maybe it's some female/male thing...and he just doesn't see it our way? I tend to think that males/females are more similar than different....Maybe I am wrong.

Yah my hubby would kill for a house right now, Daria. We can't seem to get a mortgage right now though as the bank won't touch us without at least a 640 credit score...we both have ours around 550 - he has outstanding medical bills, and I just lack credit. It really sucks as I'm sure we could find a place bigger for the same or less than what we pay monthly...a place where the kids would have their own bedroom, and have our own land around the house to do a little garden. Right now it's a dream. I'm worried about keeping the job I have now. :|

Really, he does need just a shot of optimism. There's people less fortunate around you who would be more than happy to switch spots.

I mean, as long as I have a roof over my head, i am happy. I liek the building I am moving into and for now, living in the city I live in, renting is the way we will be. Like I said earlier, houses here are just TOO expensive.
It will be a lot of years until I can own a house.... if I inherit or win a lot of money, that will help. But I have attrocious credit right now due to circumstances beyond my control when I was 22, that I am still trying to recover from.
However, if I owned a house... no matter how old, or how small... I would love it. I would cherish it. I wouldn't care about having a house that was "worth more" or whatever. It doesn't matter WHERE you are, as long as you make it your own.
Home is where the heart is, afterall.

I completely agree! This is my house, it MINE...Even if I don't even own a doorkknob after paying for it for 2 years...It's mine! I Like the house, even if it has turned into a money pit...AND since I can't magically POOF it into having "equity" I am still going to enjoy it...Because this is what I have in this lifetime...Why run through life looking at other's and saying "Ooohhh the grass is fucking greener over there"....This is MY house, and that has been the argument. We are here...So why not make the house look great, feel great to be in, and make it enjoyable...Rather than just leaving it as the clutter pit it is. I can't fix the job market, I can't fix the housing market...but I CAN try to make this place nice....Why is that such a bad thing...But every time I ask him to clean, he gets sullen and crabby...and starts going on about how much of a waste this house it. When I try to clean on my own...It's just as bad.
It's hard to give someone optimism, when they just spent 50grand and 2 years of their life studying their ass off...Only to graduate in the worst recession since the great "depression" and be nearly unemployable.

GAH! Ya know! Sometimes ya just get so frustrated ya want to hit them over the head with a pillow!

Amen, sister!

I keep on thinking if I should change the name of the thread to bitchers anonymous or something. It's so nice to have a thread to let it rip though! You don't know how therapeutic it is. I mean yah I could write it in a journal, but you just don't get the peer feedback. It's nice. :)

Agrees, Huggles thread:) And look, we chatted ourselves up to page 6 already!

I know! I'm surprised how wonderfully it caught on! I thought I'd have to run around and beg people to chat to me. :P

I'm not quite as a social magnet as Jen. ;) Of course I don't really give freebies either. (I never have much money for long either!)

*pops in* I heard Jen :ninja:

*raises hand* Does feeling old count? (Yes I'm over 18, but not an old fart yet... if I make it there)

Haha Kaze! I'm only 26, I just feel old at times! I think part of it is already having a mid life crises at 23, already owning my own property and been divorced and remarried already. Oh yes and I have a stepkid who would of been born when I was 16 makes me feel a bit older too. I can't imagine being pregnant now, let alone at 16. :o Kids are hard work!

Agrees with Izumi! If I had kids at the same age as my mother did...I'd have a 9 year old now...YIKES....Many of the people I grew up with have kids, and I have some friends that are on their 2nd marriages...I was always slower to do things...I only just got married for my first time...

@Kaze, of course your welcome (I say this even though it's Izumi's thread)...As long as you don't mine chatter about bills, houses or the lack of houses, and stuff like that.

Hey it's OK to take your time! In a way I wish I did myself, however I probably wouldn't of met Aaron otherwise. I haven't been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, nor do I have one now but life has worked it's way to not being too bad. I'm happy with the person I'm with, etc.

And yes Kaze you're more than welcome to join! Daria - I might of started the thread, but I couldn't keep it going without the regulars. Just as much mine as yours. :)

Isn't it cool how life, even at it's shittiest, somehow manages to turn out...As long as you keep trying and aren't a douchebag....I know that somehow, someday, all this "husband unable to find work" stuff will make sense, and maybe will even be funny. It's just the patience needed in between that timing. I am glad I took my time...I am glad I spent a long time being the "perpetually single girl"....I am glad I went on a gazillion bad dates....So I could write about them in detail on my blog and my future husband was reading them the whole time...

I only have proof that I get this one life...SO I want to live it as if it is my only one and walk away at the end with as few regrets as possible.

Yah I've kind of noticed that trend. I've had some real ups and downs in my life so far, but overall I've made it through it and it feels like each hiccup along the way eventually is ironed out. Maybe things are stressful today (and yes there's no maybe about it), but I keep on telling myself that it's only temporary and things will turn for the better.

You don't want to talk to my dad though. He's extremely depressing as he's been preaching it's the end of the world for awhile now. :|

I don't want to talk to my Mom much these days. She's full of absolutely USELESS advice and cliche's. Seriously, I know all the cliche' out there already...I don't need to waste my time or my cellphone minutes to hear her prattle them to me yet again.

Why does your dad think it's the end of the world? Is it a religion thing?

Kind of a religious thing, kind of a conspiracy theory...He seems to think that the recession we're under is going to spiral under control and that we will have to load up Aaron's truck with what we can and make an escape to his farm where we will have to form our own little community and live off the land and such. He's been predicting the end of the world for awhile now. Other than that, he's harmless and he's fun to be around as long as he's not preaching on about that kind of crap. Mom just leaves the room when he goes on one of his rants, and I think my brother partially agrees with him but for the most part just nods along just to get him to shut up. :P

Wow, sounds like someone has been reading too much "Grapes of wrath". Will that turtle just cross the damn road already?

I have friends like that...I don't listen to their politics if I can help it. I know where I stand and I know where they do..and oohh man are we on opposite ends of the spectrum there.

Hey, I saw on another thread you might have thyroid problems...I have em...They're not too bad really. I just take a tiny pill late at night well after I've eaten. Works pretty well for me.

Well I'm not certain yet, actually. There's got to be some reason though that I've always struggled with weight. I would like to start loosing it, and actually Aaron is pretty much pushing me too because if I don't at least try to start loosing weight he will loose his healthy blue living scheme. I guess it's a motivator to keep me going. *shrugs*

The thing is I'm usually too damn hot if anything, and I heard that's more a sign of hyperthyroidism.

Hi ladies!!!
Welcome, Kaze to our lovely little thread!!! Super happy to have another face around!

SO-- I went to a wedding reception yesterday! It was really last minute (dan called me and told me to get ready 2 hours before we were to be there...) and it was the first wedding I have ever been to with peers. the only 2 other weddings I had ever been to were good friends parents getting remarried.
I had a super nice time. I met a lot of amazing people. the food was amazing, and I drank glass after glass after glass of chardonnay.
I got to play with a baby, and smoke a joint with a crown prosecutor! it was wild!!
This morning.... wasn't so fun. I barrrrfed. I totally had a wine-over. though a white-wine hangover isn't nearly as bad as a red-wine hangover....
Anyways, we're always bitching about bills and houses and stuff... lets talk about.... WEDDINGS!
Daria and Izumi, you're both married! i'd love to hear about anyting wedding related.
I can't afford a wedding for a long long looong time, nor can dan afford a ring... but I know I will eventually be his wife.... and theres just something about being at a reception that makes you feel all... lovey dovey inside, you know?

Both of my weddings were bare bones. Both times we were dirt poor and could barely afford the actual paperwork, let alone a nice reception. The first one was in England, as I moved over to live with my ex-husband who was originally from the Newcastle area. My Ex-MIL was a bit of a work of art (and I won't get into specifics, unless you really want to hear), but she did at the last minute throw a small party together for everyone. We had the neighbors, relatives and close friends over and it was fairly small but friendly.

This time around ideas got thrown around until the last minute since we really hadn't the money to make a party, or a decent place to hold it. (His friend at his old apartment offered to help, but due to the fact his old crowd spent most of their time drunk and rowdy and not to mention I was afraid it was going to rain we decided against it. Instead we got married, went out to dinner then played put put with the kids. Then the next morning we got up and ready to go into town for an Anime convention with the kids, where we wandered about and picked out different costumes. It was a blast, like last year.

Maybe for like our tenth anniversary or something we'll have a little party to compensate for lack of party. I'm not too bothered either way. I was upset at the time as I really wanted to put together something but in the end we just couldn't do it. (Not to mention neither one of our parents offered to help us prepare...so it would of been totally on us. -_-)

Hey Izumi, hyperthyroidism causes extreme weight loss...Not weight gain. Hypothyroidism causes weight gain. I don't know if that helps...Other signs of hypothyroidism are: Dry skin, dry brittle hair, always being cold, difficulty with weight loss.

Hey Holly, I liked the potter flick...I think with any movie based on a book, you can't go to the flick expecting THE book to be THE movie...But it was fun and I enjoyed it:)

Um, wedding stories...Mine was...Fraught with relatives demanding stupid crap and my desperate attempts to block all their junk ;).

Well I do have extremely dry elbows and hands. In the winter I'm constantly having to keep moisturizing them or they dry up and start cracking and bleeding. :(

I don't feel cold though, usually hot, but that might be due to being overweight too I would of thought...I also feel fairly lethargic at times, but that could also have other reasons...I'll be interested to see the readings.

Huh... wedding stories... @[email protected] I hope I never have one... they sound scary...
Are they worth it? o.o