I like being married:) I am just not a very "wedding planning" kinda girl. Does that help Kaze?

Idk... they sound so nerve wracking and scary and stressful. My sister-in-law broke out in hives @[email protected]

They don't have to be...Small weddings can be lovely and have MUCH less stress. I have a large family and a small wedding was not possible...

Ah... yeah... well my mom has a tendency to take over weddings... >.< so her's was very unenjoyable

Wow Kaze, your all white and grey:) I like it:) Drolls over your headwings.

I liked my dress, cause it was black and white...And I kinda hired a wedding house that did most of the work and kept my relatives OUT of the wedding more than they wanted (It was heavenly) but there was a lot of unnecessary strain...and so much goes into one day...It's really kinda silly. I would have been happy with a vegas wedding (Those can be done beautifully by the way)...But my Mother in law was having none of that. In hind site, she threw a fit on the wedding day anyway...So maybe we should have not bothered even trying to please her.

Hmm... if I ever have a wedding... -.- my mom isn't invited...

^_^ thankies... ^^" I have a lot of MCs people would drool over >.<

I wish I could have reduced my mom's involvement in my wedding...She was a nightmare! On the day of...I had the hair lady feed her mimosas and keep her away from me...She kept going on about my dead Grandmother...And I was NOT about to cry that day...NOT at all!

-.- why was she bringing her up? She TRYING to ruin it?

I think we were all sad she wasn't there...And I think it was really hard for my mom for her NOT to be there...But I just couldn't go there...My mom was crying all over the place and I just couldn't deal...So I stayed away.

Why wouldn't you want your mom there?

Well... my mom ruined my brother and his wife's wedding. -.- she invited her whole church. They didn't know a lot of people at their own wedding.

Not to mention she was taking over and not doing things the way the bride wanted them.

I would want it to be small... only involve those I care about... (bout 5+ ppl) and MAYBE a cameraman.... maybe. If I had one with my mom there, there would be 50 people I don't know and no more than 10 I do... -.- special eh? Plus more people to stand in front of... @[email protected]

I've always wanted to run away and get eloped. Like on a beach or in Vegas. Just the two of us. Screw all that wedding planning. I'd rather have the two people that the wedding means the most to. If family were that important I would throw a little reception when I got back.

Hopefully this has been long enough to post again. I think the rule is at least 4 hours? That would of been an hour ago...

Anyways, just had to sort out an incident with the stepkids. Tristan was laughing at her playing a game, she got upset and told him to stop and he didn't so she turned around and slapped him. (It sounded hard, too) He came running in to tell on her and we brought both of them in, heard both sides of the story and made it very clear it was not tolerated in a very serious yet calm voice. It's kind of scary though as it's not the first time Pam had a temper and acted off the cuff before. She worries me. I told her next time she does that she better watch it as they might turn around and wallop her one. I told her if something upsets her that much, walk away. If it's her brother, come tell one of us and we'll sort him out. Never, and I mean never, is there a good excuse to be physically violent towards anyone.

Now I would be more lieniant if it were say a 2 year old, who cannot speak and only knows through the tone of voice and a slap on the wrist or butt and a firm "no"...but I'm a firm believer that once they're able to think and speak for themselves that they should be repremanded and told them what they did wrong, and why it's wrong. I've also found, unfortunately, negative reinforcment works so much better than positive.

What I'm really hoping though is she doesn't turn into one of those wild and off the wall teenagers...

Hmm... negative reinforcement always does seem to work better, by telling what consequences are possible through their actions.

I think that Positive reinforcement is better for if the child works hard, giving them positive reinforcement will make them work hard again, as it was worth it. Positively reinforcing bad behavior away is a lot harder, as you're enforcing the good behavior, but not affecting the bad behavior as much.

How old are they? ^_^

They're 7 and 9. :)

^_^ Cute... never seen a parent use negative re-enforcement much... always positive... that or that ridiculous "ooonnnneee, twwwooooo, thhreeee" Never seen a kid listen to that...

Ohh, I have seen kid's listen to the counting thing...but only if they know you mean it. I like to give options like "Either you do this on your own, or I'll help you do this....Those are your choices, let me know what you decide" and set a timer...When the timer goes off, "Ok what did you decide"...That kinda thing.

Ya just make one choice so bad, they'd rather take your do it your way no matter what or the second choice is so bad they are dealing with natural consequences without much work :)

Then again, I work with some pretty difficult kids...They take a LOT more enticing than most kids.

The timer idea sounds like a fantastic idea. I was seriously thinking of having her sit isolated for a couple of minutes to think about what she has done and why it was wrong, possibly writing a short essay as to why she shouldn't hit her brother...something along that. I really want her to realize I'm not here to be a bitch, but to hopefully teach her how to be a better human being.

It's interesting what she can do with a little bit of clay though. She is a very artistic child. She's making some really amazing little sculptures of different pokemon and painting them. They're really cute. The paint job she could work on but the features she molds into the clay are really something. She's really got an artistic streak in her. It's surprising since I don't think her mother has an ounce....must of come from Aaron's side of the family.

The thing that really worries me is she has a horrible attitude and really treats her brother like crap at times. You should of seen her roll her eyes and huff at something he was saying. Then telling him to shut up and stuff like that. I really want to get it through to her that it isn't acceptable behavior and they both could use to treat eachother with more respect. I mean my brother and I have squabbled, but in the end we were really close...I don't ever remember treating him like this.

Hmm... giving two positive choices is a nice thing... instead of a good choices and a bad choice.

I've learned that by punishment (like spanking and screaming and yelling and such things that are harsh), the child will drift away from the parent slowly, whereas by alternatives, they can stay close, possibly preventing the rebellious teen years.

Usually when I see the counting thing the kid runs around for 5 more seconds and then when the mother screams and scowls they obey.

@ Izumi - Hmm... idk what would help them get along better, but I stopped getting along with mine even though I was close to them as a kid.

My brother and I squabbled till I was in about 4th grade...Then we made a truce and sorta never broke it...I have no idea what your step kids are like...but my brother was EXTREMELY difficult to grow up with. He has anger management issues, ADHD and a VERY high IQ...The recipe of all those results in a very hypersensitive person who is really easy to piss off...As adults, I kinda stay away from him and his new wife as much as possible. They are both really easy to upset. HIGH MAINTENANCE!

Oh and Kaze, I love your new avatar!

XD Thanks... >.> tiny little details are bugging me though and idk how to fix it...

HMm... high matinence is never a good thing... my sister is that way... glad the people I care about aren't >.< pleasing 2 low matinence people is hard enough as is.

Hmm... -.- genius type... my brother is a lazy genius... has the gift... but too lazy to use it...

I don't know...Is it possible to be uber smart and have no common sense whatsoever? That's my brother. It's really tiresome...So I just stay away...It's easier that way.

Hmm... seeing as how his marriage is failing because he's being an idiot... I think he might be lacking too... >.> I swear... he needs to learn how to treat his wife better.

Whenever I'm around girls on their period, I try to be extra nice to them so they don't have to explode from all the pain and irritability. ;) If they're comfy they can be easy to talk to. -.- most guys run off which only is gonna make them more irritable...

Meh, my monthly doesn't affect me much. I don't usually get grouchy or anything...

Hmm... some do though so I'm told... though never had a girl snap at me for it... I'm usually the one on google trying to find out how to make it hurt less for them, seeing as how I have never had one ^^".

I AGREE COMPLETELEY!!!
I just want to elope (and my mother wants me to, as well! She has always said "Sarah, you should elope. It's so much easier"). I just want to go away, just me and him and maybe a couple pals as witnesses. Get married. Come home, and have a BBQ or something with all our friends. A celebration!
OR! Just go down to the courthouse, sign the appropriate paperwork, and then have a balls-out reception.
UNFORTUNATELY, I'm not allowed (says my sister) because I'm her only shot at being a maid of honor. AND she wants to make my cake.
I'm really not very planny, and I can't see myself ever getting into bride-zilla mode, and like you Izumi, we just don't have money (unless, magically, the band starts making money... which could easily happen so I guess there is still hope)
I just want a simple dress, family and friends! Good food, good music and good booze.