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My boyfriend can't kiss >.<
As the title states, my boyfriend can not kiss to save his life. He likes to "make out" but I can't stand it because it's so gross. He's really sloppy about it and doesn't actually kiss me before shoving his tongue in my mouth. It's really gross. I'm not sure how to tell him or even if I should. We both like the idea of making out, but once we actually start to I can't stand it for very long. What should I do? Should I tell him or just bare with it? |
Tell him. I tell every guy I ever am with exactly what he does wrong and what is stupid about them. If they cry, then they are pansies. Honestly, I have had to teach and reteach any man I've ever been with to do it right. I actually had a couple of guys that were so hopeless that I left them. But that might also be why I've been single all summer. o_O That or the habitual reclusive behaviour.
Also, if he does happen to be a pansy and you know this already, just be the take charge girl. Guide him with your mouth yourself. I find the best way is to grab his head (not literally grab, just get a good hold on it) and get yourself higher up than he is. This puts you in a position of power to control the kiss, then do your best to guide him to do it your way. If he's too dull to catch on, slap him and tell him he sucks and to let you show him. ^-^ |
Your response made me smile. Thank you for your advice! He's such a pansy ass.... :-x But next time I see him I'll just have to do what you said. :] |
I completely agree with RampageRose. The ONLY thing that works is teaching them. I had one guy who was too hopeless to be taught, and it ended up in the ditch. (: The rest became marvelous kissers. And if they ever fall back on their old and sloppy habits, just remind them how you like it.
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i agree! tell the guy that he sucks haha.
My first girlfriend taught me how to kiss, i was 14, she was a year older. After her there have been girls a had to teach, but it was okay i guess cos im a guy and people always expect that the guy is on top. |
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Nuh uh! I have been on top with several of my boyfriends. Just not this one since I can't get passed french kissing him. >.< |
My ex boyfriend was exactly like that! It was really gross. DX I guess that's part of the reason why I ditched him. I was to afraid to tell him I didn't like it so I tried to make excuses not to kiss him. XD
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All the guys I'd been with before my current boyfriend were always super dominant and kissed really fiercely and I just kinda had to keep up as best I could... but my boyfriend now is pretty slow and sloppy with the kisses. One day I was just sitting there letting him kiss me, hella bored and not into it at all when I realized that I should just take charge of the situation and MAKE it interesting.
and I did. and it was wonderful. I highly recommend it. |
Yes, you should tell him. Don't come out and say, "You suck at kissing." because he may start crying. ;~;
But just say, "Kiss me more gentle at first... slow down, enjoy the kiss. Don't tear my lips off, or choke me with your tongue, okay?" But if he keeps doing it, put your hand on his cheek, and pet him across the jaw line. That usually calms men down. If he goes to taste your toothpaste with his tongue, simply close your lips a bit to keep up a resistance. Every time he tries to move rapidly, pull away a bit, nose-to-nose, or forehead-to-forehead and just tease him for a second. I'm sure eventually he'll get the memo and calm down. If he still doesn't, tell him, "Let me kiss you. Simon says; do what I do." Start off slow and kiss him how you want. :3 Chances are, if he's really rough when he kisses, it means... A, he has a hunger for some rough, hot, nasty sex (believe it or not, its actually AWESOME sometimes), B, he's slightly nervous about kissing you still (no matter how far you are into a relationship, nerves can still be there!!), or C, you've led him on to believe you enjoy the rough kisses, so he's only trying to please you! I hope I helped! I've only kissed my current boyfriend, but we've had our fair share of kissing experiments. :3 Oh, and don't say that you're too shy to take charge! I'm probably one of the most shy and antisocial people in the world. But if this is truly an issue and its making you unhappy, confronting him about it and telling him what's wrong, or even holding your breath and showing your own stuff, is one of the best things you can do. :3 And it feels great getting it off your chest after! |
well look if hes really that bad , you should tell him , i understand you might hurt his feelings but that would do it !
well lol , this will sound funny but you should teach him , if you still wanna be with him ! don't be stressed over this ! this will work out for you ! i hope this this helps you , and no am not telling you to break up with him , only to fix things with him !!! |
Tell him, if you don't, he's not really going to improve because he's going to assume you like it and keep on doing it. I wouldn't blame him for it, though, maybe you're the first girl he's been with or something and he doesn't really know what to do. Give him some tips or something, it will work out. C: If you don't want to be harsh about it, say something, like, "I would really like it if you..," and suggest some method to kissing. C:
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I agree with the others... tell him about it. He'll never know otherwise. He might be doing things that have worked on other girls, or just copying pornos xD
But you don't have to be a bitch about it! A guy is not a pansy if he gets his feelings hurt because you insult him. Instead of just telling him that you hate it, try giving him suggestions WITHOUT sounding accusatory or mean. Rather than "I hate the way you kiss me, do it this way" try "_____ isn't really my thing, could you try ______ instead?" or something like that. If he's any kind of boyfriend, he'll care about you enjoying yourself. If all else fails, just stop him and ask for him to do as you do. |
I'd have to agree with everyone else -- tell him!
But do it in a cute and subtle way so you don't hurt his feelings. Like when you're making out and he starts getting gross, stop him, correct him gently and say something like "This is how I'd like to be kissed..." Then lean in and show him! |
I agree that you have to tell him. but I wouldn't wanna be so bluntly honest with this topic. It'll hurt his feelings and might scare him away and he might shy away from trying to kiss you again, afraid he's only going to mess it up again.
Use the good ol' body language to give him hints that if he needs to calm down, take things slow, or use a little less tongue. Using your hands on his cheek/jaw also works, stroke his cheek if he's doing well, and put a little resistance on his face is he's doing something wrong, and pulling him in from his jawline gives a hint that you're in control of the situation. I hope this helps (: |
Haha, That is gross. I would have thought making him watch a video about how to make out and then if he asked you could just bluntly say it that he sucks at making out. I don't know though, I've never had a boyfriend nor physically kissed, hold hands and etc with one.
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Guide him.
The first time I kissed my boyfriend he came at me with his mouth open like he was about to suck my face off. :shock: But I'd been dying to kiss him for months, so I really didn't mind too much. The only issue was that he would continue kissing me like that unless I told him otherwise. So I did. I told him to start with his mouth closed [not puckering the lips or anything] and we would go from there. Slowly but surely, he learned how to kiss me. There was no more of him shoving his tongue down my throat. "My tonsils are fine!" From time to time it might get a little sloppy when we make out, but he's not eating my face or anything. Tell it to his face. "Start with your mouth closed darling....no, okay like that. Then you can part my lips with your tongue and explore my mouth, not rampage through it like a Viking conquering a new land. And if I like it, I'll kiss you back. No more coming at me at ramming speed. Yes, you do, don't argue with me. Now, lets give it a try..." :kiss: "Whoa...let's take this to the bedroom..." :mrgreen: |
I would recommend a gentle approach for sure
Maybe something along the lines of - "I want to try something, let me take the lead . . . " and then go from there and see if he can pick up on what you're doing. If you taking the lead goes well maybe talk about how nice it was and ask him if he can do the same thing back to you . . . |
I think it would be best to explain to him that you don't like it as much. Maybe what you could do is explain to him that you want to do other things than just french kisses.
I think it would also be good to tell him you'd like to "Show him how you would like to kiss" =) maybe if he understands you want to show him what you like he'll be able to understand better. |
I think you should tell him, living with it forever isn't going to solve anything, even though it's kind of hard to tell him, it's better to tell him than keep on living with it. |
I'm another one for open communication. You don't have to say it bluntly like "You suck" but instead tell him you like it more like this and then show him. Also openly talking about stuff like that really helps take the pressure off both of you...so you're not worrying that you did something he didn't like or vice versa.
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Ha! I had this problem with my man when we first started seeing each other. He kissed with his mouth wide open and his tongue down my throat. So what did I do? For one I told him his mouth was open to wide and to slightly open his mouth to kiss me. My lips are half the size your mouth is. Second I forced his tongue out of my mouth a lot, using my tongue. It's like teaching him how to control it and how to really kiss a girl. I'm an open mouth kissing type of girl but don't mind slipping the tongue sometimes. Let him know what kind of kisser you are and prefer. It wont hurt their feelings just don't be heartless and blunt about telling him he's a bad kisser and if he needs you to show him how to kiss, do it. Eventually they catch on. Hope I was helpful!!
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tell him! tell him that you prefer the other way and make him interested on your way, then show him and teach him. or you can search for different types of kissing and then watch the video together. who knows both of you might find something new and interested and you both like. hehe.
wish you all the best :) |
ew that does sound gross! you should definetly tell him. if you don't, he will think you like it and keep doing what he's doing now. or just take control and show him. but i'm not really sure, i've never had a boyfriend nor do i have one now.
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