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-   Poetry (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=128)
-   -   Midnight, Twilight (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=125965)

SilverKnightHawk 08-24-2009 04:41 AM

Midnight, Twilight
 
I don't know if you would consider this a poem, I think of it more as a short song. Please tell me what you think I can do to improve it and what you like about it. :D

Midnight dawns
Life is pure,
Twilight calls
Yet again,
Night is falling
Rapidly,
Where am I
Where are you?

Hayzel 09-06-2009 12:08 AM

Lyrics to songs are poetry. Nicely done for such a short bit. My only comment is that you should probably remain consistent with the comma placement. Well done.

SilverKnightHawk 09-08-2009 10:16 PM

Thanks, I'll do that =3


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