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-   -   Remembrance (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=126495)

- healing rain - 08-29-2009 06:15 AM

Remembrance
 
Sup y'all. Written for a school poetry project, but based on a little story I read.

Remembrance

When the moon dangles high
in a velvet black sky
I gaze on outside
to mark a forest nearby

And, along with the trees,
there's a man I can see
wand'ring through the green
and searching, it seems

For something, some key
to some lost memory
from before he forgot
forgot, about me.

Hayzel 09-06-2009 12:16 AM

Nicely done. Excellent rhythm and the flow is pretty much flawless. You're punctuation seems to be consistent which is also good. And the slight twist at the end is neat.


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