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-   -   Bad jokes.. that are so bad you laugh. (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128031)

Kyatto.chan 09-05-2009 08:42 AM

Bad jokes.. that are so bad you laugh.
 
GD, i'd like to know what terrible, horrible jokes you have that are so bad you have to laugh at them because you can't do anything else.

Also blond, irish or dead baby jokes. People either love them or hate them.... do you feel that they are offencive? or amusing and why?


Quote:

what happened to the irish tap dancer?
he fell down the sink.

where's ya fork?
next to yapoon
Quote:

Please Remember - All Posted Jokes Must Be In Quote Tags

Oirish 09-05-2009 09:44 AM

I don't ever really get offended by jokes. xD

Quote:

What do you call an Irish person who sits on the deck all night?
Patty 'o furniture. :lol:

Kyatto.chan 09-05-2009 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oirish (Post 1765029107)
I don't ever really get offended by jokes. xD

What do you call an Irish person who sits on the deck all night?
Patty 'o furniture. :lol:

That was terribly awesome! I dont get offended either, but i understand how people would... like, in Australia aboriginal jokes are really offencive... because of all their hardships that i respect and admore (some) of the more over coming. but can be really funny....

Quote:

An Aboriginal walked into a bar with one thong,
the bar tender said "you loose a thong mate?"
The aboriginal replies "Nah, I found one!"

TheNena 09-05-2009 10:18 AM

I'm going to go buy a box of popsicles for you. Stay tuned, for hilarious laughter. (That is, the laughter, and not the jokes.) :insane:

Oirish 09-05-2009 11:30 AM

@ Kyatto.chan: Hahaha that's great. xD

@The Nena: ... I don't get it. :sweat:

SilentxSecrets 09-05-2009 12:52 PM

Quote:

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire????
Frostbite! xDDD
(Extremely horrid.)

Oirish 09-05-2009 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentxSecrets (Post 1765029377)
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire????
Frostbite! xDDD
(Extremely horrid.)

It made me happy though. xD

Okay, what I have learned over the years is, the more fucked up the joke is... the better the reaction you get out of it.

Quote:

What's red, pink, bubbley, and squeals before exploding?
...a baby in a microwave.

How many babys does it take to paint a house?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

What's worse then 100 dead babies nailed to a tree?
1 dead baby nailed to 100 trees.

Those are fucked. :rofl:
...but so are these. :D

What does a white girl and a tampon have in common?
THEY'RE BOTH STUCK UP CUNTS!

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
THE NBA!

What does a jew and a pizza have in common?
They were both in the back of hitler's oven at one point.

What's wrong with a black jew?
It's just the ash at the back of the oven.

What do you call a little mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.

What do you call a mexican getting baptized?
Bean Dip!

A Mexican, a black guy, and a white guy are in a bar having a drink when a good-looking girl comes up to them and says "whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me". So the white guy says"I love liver and cheese." she says "that's not good enough." The black says "I hate liver and cheese", and she says "that's not creative.", and then the Mexican says "Liver alone cheese mine!"

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

What's purple with green spots and hangs from a tree?
My niggah, you can paint him any color you like. ;D

What's the difference between a pizza and a black guy?
The pizza can feed a family of four

Why do they put cotton in pill bottles?
To remind the blacks of what they did before they started drug dealing.

Okay okay guys, that's fucked up... we really need to stop talking about this now.
My best friend was black...

But then my dad sold him.
(My friend came up with that one when we were sitting around cracking jokes. I thought he was serious for a minute and I agreed, but then he said that last part and I just cracked the fuck up. :XP)

I'm probably going to get banned for these. :rofl:

Knerd 09-05-2009 02:53 PM

Guys, please remember:

If you did not make up the joke, it must be in quote tags.

I've gone through and edited your posts, but you may receive a warning if you continue to forget in the future. :yes:

Oirish 09-05-2009 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knerd (Post 1765029645)
Guys, please remember:

If you did not make up the joke, it must be in quote tags.

I've gone through and edited your posts, but you may receive a warning if you continue to forget in the future. :yes:

Mkay. Sorry. >.<
I'm still getting used to this site. :sweat:

Codette 09-05-2009 03:20 PM

Quote:

What do you feed a blue elephant for breakfast?
Blue elephant toasties
What do you feed a pink elephant for breakfast?
You tell the pink elephant to hold it's breath until it turns blue then you feed it blue elephant toasties


What do you get when you cross an elephant with peanut butter?
An elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth or peanut butter that never forgets.

They're not horrible, but they are bad.

Agent HEY-LEE 09-05-2009 03:40 PM

My math teacher loves to crack jokes. Most of the time they're awful! D: (I obviously don't mean dirty awful, just awful.)

Quote:

A priest sells a man a horse and tells him to say, "Hallelujah" when he wants the horse to run and, "Amen," when he wants him to stop running. One day the man is riding the horse and he comes to a cliff and forgets what to say to make the horse stop. He starts to pray: "Dear God, please.. please.. stop this horse! But if for some reason you don't, please watch over my family. Amen". The horse come to sudden stop right at the edge and the man throws up his arms and yells, "HALLELUJAH!"
I probably didn't say that correctly.. but tis close enough! :sweat:

Oscar the Wild 09-05-2009 03:46 PM

Here's a quote I found at a site that had all sorts of bad jokes:

Quote:

What do you get when you cross a cobra tamer and a playwright?
William Snakespeare

Agent HEY-LEE 09-05-2009 03:48 PM

^ Oh, wow.. that is bad! D:

Miss Morphine 09-05-2009 10:35 PM

Quote:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side! :D








... :sarcasm:

Couzaca 09-05-2009 10:42 PM

Quote:

Suicide isn't funny... especially when it happens to babies....
:shock:

Agent HEY-LEE 09-05-2009 10:54 PM

^ Hehe.. That is kind of funny. xD Really stupid, but still kind of funny. Well, it's not actually funny. Just kind of, "What the heck..?!"

~LONGCAT~ 09-05-2009 11:37 PM

This one gets funnier the more you tell it, so read it and then find some one to tell it to and try no to laugh.
Quote:

Why did Snoop Dog carry an umbrella?
Fo drizzle.

Tounin 09-06-2009 12:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~~LOOOOOOONGCAT~~ (Post 1765032880)
This one gets funnier the more you tell it, so read it and then find some one to tell it to and try no to laugh.

Okay, that one made me chuckle. :P
I can't think of any bad jokes, I never remember the bad ones. XD

Couzaca 09-06-2009 01:00 AM

guy 1:hey what time is it?

guy 2: time to get a watch

Seer Of the Future 09-06-2009 01:23 AM

Quote:

your moma's so fat we're in her right now!
I found it on the internet at like 2 in the morning and couldn't stop laughing!

shinjuuchan 09-06-2009 01:28 AM

Quote:

Why was Spongebob afraid to go to Detroit?
'Cause Kwame Kilpatrick!!! (Get it? Kwame Killed Patrick? HARHARHAR)
Yeah that one was really bad... lol

AixKrimLuv 09-06-2009 03:17 AM

Here's My Joke ! (=

Quote:

A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says "I'll have a beer," and the ostrich says "I'll have the same." Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the bartender."Well, it's close to last call, so I'll have a large Scotch" says the man. "Same for me" says the ostrich. "That will be $7.20" says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar. The bartender can't hold back his curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?"
"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there.""That's brilliant!" says the bartender. "Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!""That's right! Whether it's a gallon of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man."That's fantastic!" says the bartender. "You are a genius! ... Oh, one other thing sir, what's with the ostrich?"The man replies, "Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs."

Moral Of The Joke: "BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR !"

Kyatto.chan 09-06-2009 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Knerd (Post 1765029645)
Guys, please remember:

If you did not make up the joke, it must be in quote tags.

I've gone through and edited your posts, but you may receive a warning if you continue to forget in the future. :yes:

Thank you for that! I have to actively remember that...

Thank you all for the jokes i've had a great time reading them XD they're fantastically bad lol I have a more mature joke (i hope it's not too inappropriate) But i just could not stop laughing XD
Quote:

The Tax Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.

While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said: 'I notice you buy a lot of candles.

What do you do with the candle drippings?''Good question', noted the Rabbi. 'We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.

''Oh', replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer.

But on he went, in his obnoxious way: 'What about all these biscuit purchases?

What do you do with the crumbs?''Ah, yes', replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question.

'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of holy biscuits.

''I see!' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi.

'Well, Rabbi', he went on, 'What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?

''Here, too, we do not waste', answered the Rabbi.

'What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the Tax Office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.
I thought it was really witty and well done XD'
A questions for you, why do we seems to find racism so amusing in some contexts and so offensive in others?...


Quote:

Originally Posted by Seer Of the Future (Post 1765033623)
I found it on the internet at like 2 in the morning and couldn't stop laughing!

Quote:

You mum is so fat it takes 2 trains and a bus to get on her good side!

My friends little brother told us that joke at the dinner table XD and his mum was just like "I'm right here... " lol i like ya mum jokes too :P when you just make the call at the right time and it's the perfect joke XD!

Xx_IwIshIwasafIsh_xX 09-06-2009 05:51 AM

My friend, Mariah, is an expert at Yo Mamma jokes.
Quote:

Yo Mamma so fat, when she wore Guess jeans, the answer popped out.
Yo Mamma so fat, when she wore Apple Bottom jeans, the bottom fell out.
Yo Mamma so nasty, when you asked what's for dinner she opened her legs and said "Tuna suprise."
Yo Mamma so nasty she pours water down her pants to keep her crabs fresh.
Yeah...I only know she made up the first one. I can't remember the other ones.

Kyatto.chan 09-06-2009 07:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xx_IwIshIwasafIsh_xX (Post 1765035415)
My friend, Mariah, is an expert at Yo Mamma jokes.

Yeah...I only know she made up the first one. I can't remember the other ones.


oh eieeeeeeew lol some of those are just disgustingly hilarious XD


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