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-   -   Wall of text. Family problems. (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=128289)

RetroTV 09-07-2009 07:41 AM

Wall of text. Family problems.
 
Maybe 6 months ago, my mom bought me a car. (Nothing expensive, a used 1.4k car.) My brother bought his car at the same time. He takes his car out, and totals it. What does my mom do? Give him the car she bought for me. Today is the third time he's crashed my car. The car that was supposed to be mine!

I'm not particuarlly upset that the car that was supposed to be mine, is his... It's the mere fact that my mom is considering getting him a new one. He has a job, so he could pay for his OWN car, but no... He has to mooch off dear mommy like every time something bad happens. His 1k laptop? Mommy bought it. Wii? Mommy bought it. TV, second computer, GC, and many other things? Yet again, Mommy bought it. I don't mind that he's getting these things... But he's now pawning them off after not even a year, or he doesn't even touch it, or want it.

Instead of paying for things himself, he buys things for his ditzy girlfriend... Of less then a year. He's bought her (cheap looking) jewerly, and extremely expensive perfume. It's not a special day. Not a birthday, not a wedding, not an annviersery, or anything.

He also "smokes". By "smokes" I mean lights one up, inhales once, then puts it down to burn. He wastes at least a pack a day, which dearest mommy pays for. Ontop of that, he takes it, shoves it in my face, and yells "COME ON SMOKE IT!" or "WANT ONE?" No. I don't want one. This is one of the many, many rude things he does. He also takes his socks, and jams it into my face, along with used tissues. He just recently stopped beating me up.

We're in an extremely bad financial situation, and all the money we get, goes to him! I'm tired of him always getting his way becasue he throws a bitch-fit if someone says no. He usually gets in screaming matches with himself, if someone says something he doesn't like. Sometimes it's some as simple as, "Be careful with that car." (I wonder why?) He scream, "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID BITCH I KNOW, CHRIST. IT'S MY FUCKING CAR!" The worst one within the past 3 months was him knocking a hole in our already weak walls. My favorite painting now has to cover the hole.

I once asked for a laptop, so I could go out camping, and take wildlife photos, and upload them to my computer as soon as I took them. Instead, the money went to my brothers underage drinking habit. I also think he's doing drugs. He's gone all time at night, and has already admited to smoking pot, and going out, and causing trouble. (He's been arrested twice.) He's 19. He's lost my car once, after getting so drunk he had to be dragged up a rocky hill, and ditched somewhere. She would also pay for his WoW subscription, along with shonen jump, and many, many other things.
I have a subscription to nothing. She always nags about how overweight and lazy I am. I'm not overweight, or lazy.


I'm not sure what to do anymore about tolerating my mom giving all the money to him (to the point where we cant afford food for weeks, and we're 3+ months late on ALL bills).
I don't know what to do about him taking everything for granted.
I'm not saying it's favoritism, because she does do things for me... Just not much.

I think what upsets me most is that she wont support my hobby, but she will support his bad habits.

All I wanted was a cheap laptop to upload photos. Ontop of that, my PC is dying. It freezes every hour, even though it's in very, very good condition. I clean it out every week, defrag, and other things.
(No, I don't want my brothers. You don't know what horrors are on it.:cry:)
Side note: My mom says photography is a lame hobby, and making a job out of it would be terrible, becasue I wouldn't make any money.


Any ideas on how to cope?
How would I convince my mom to not hate on my hobby?

ENORCA 09-07-2009 07:47 AM

D:
damn.... I have no idea really.
but one of my friends is in a simillar situation - her father loves only his female children (as well as his father did). The girls so get EVERYTHING in that familly, and the boys are kicked out when they reach age 16 :/
Maybe there is something to do with you and your brother that your mother does not tell you about?

Little Miss 09-07-2009 08:32 PM

holy crap, this is the worst family problem ever. If your old enough, move out and become a photographer, or just move out with your friends or cousins. If your family doesn't care about you like that, I don't think they'll mind.

I'm currently happily living with my sister ^w^

Maria-Minamino 09-09-2009 02:17 PM

He reminds me of my brother. Except that, my brother would THINK he should be spoiled and when my mom wouldn't give him something he wanted he would throw a hissy fit, punch holes in the walls, etc. He has been in and out of jail the day he turned 18, literally on the day! He does drugs. He almost burnt my hair off once when he was high. I'm lucky that my mom never supported him and as soon as he was 18, he was out of the house. My grandma took him in for a little while and the low life stole 400.00 dollars and all of her subscriptionpill medication from her before he left.

I never knew what to do about him. My whole family couldn't figure it out. and I still don't talk to him. I haven't talked to him since he moved out of the house.

All I can really say is wait it out and hope for the best. How old are you? Maybe when you are old enough, you can move out, get a job, and buy your own things?

Ask your mom, "I know we're behind on bills and such, but you just got that car for me and gave it to my brother? Will I be getting a car?" or something to that extent. Sounds like you are over 16 or just about there if you are getting a car. So maybe get a job for yourself? Like apply at a fast food place just to work at for the weekends while you're not in school? Save that money up and get a car for yourself? Or a laptop. I know fast food isn't ideal. But I've worked in fast food and if you work at the right place, it isn't bad. The people I work with make it so much fun and I earn money that way while I'm in college. It helps pay for my schooling.

Also, if you want to become a photographer, let nothing stop you. I wanted to do something with music ever since I was little and my father once told me "You want to sing? Go into computers, only GOOD people make it in music" and I was like "WTF" (I also don't talk to my father after my parents split when I was in middle school). But I haven't let him stop me. My mother supported me instead and here I am in college, majoring in music. If you love photography that much, don't let her stop you!!!


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