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Welcome to my living nightmare.
Since I'm attending a community college, I needed a place to stay. I had no money, and all my friends in the general area of where I planned to go were poor and/or unwilling to hold me. That left one answer: my grandma's house.
It wasn't a concept I was eager with, really. When I was a child she babysat me for most of the day while both of my parents went to work, and she abused both my brother and I mentally and physically. (Of course nowadays she completely forgot that she ever hit me. Or my brother. Or even our mother. It's a bitter pill to swallow knowing she doesn't live in guilt for her actions and never will.) Ever since I stopped being babysat by her the physical abuse stopped of course, especially now that I can fight back, but the emotional abuse is still sheerly insane. Of course, combine that with a little old age crazy and you've got yourself one giant headache. That I get to live with every day. She's incredibly envious of me giving affection to anybody else and won't accept to be anything but the best, she frequently points out how she's disappointed in me dropping out and getting my GED even though I'm attending college now, she is always trying to talk me into being suspicious of how faithful my fiance is, she insults my friends to my face, she tells me I need to start working to earn by gas money I need to drive to and from college because she isn't made of money and then buys me an excess of clothes and tech without even asking if I want it, if I turn down anything she wants to buy me she throws a fit, in fact, she just throws a fit if I ever do anything different than what she wants, she wants me to make my room spotless every day even though she doesn't do the same and nobody is going to see it aside from me (or at least should, because she keeps forgetting I live in the house and barges in for whatever she wants without even knocking) and the more I live here the more and more she tries to reign me in. If I try to explain these things to her, but it's like bashing my head against the wall. When I'm around her I feel like I'm going to die of a heart attack from all the stress she piles up on me, but when I'm away I feel either guilty or stressed because I know she's gonna lay a massive guilt trip on me when I get home. Either way I'm doomed, and if I try to move out she's gonna give me more hell than even satan could handle. Basically I'm backed into a giant, stressful corner, and I don't know what to do. Grarg. At least I got to rant. |
I know money is tight for a lot of people, but if she mistreats you that bad I suggest finding another alternative. It's not right or fair that you have to put up with that sort of thing. Nor is it healthy for you.
I'd look into getting a part time job so you can have some income and then see if a couple of friends want to find an apartment in the area together and split the rent, this way the bill isn't high for anyone. |
Whynot stay at home with your parents? I just noticed that you haven't mentioned that about them but if you can't or don't want to then that's another situation.
Well since you do drive, look for a part-time job to start earning money to save up. Work at your community college; I know they offer jobs there. Like in the Administration office or even in the bookstore. That way, it'll most likely fit in your schedule and it'll be at school so there's no hassle to drive to school to work and home. Also, where ever your school bulletin is, there might be listings of rooms for rent at good prices. Sharing or single rooms. About your grandma, since explaining to her basically is pointless, you're just going to have to become immune to her constant nags. I know that'll be hard from the past experiences that may still injure you but if there's no end to her fussiness, then you just nod your head so she can shut it. (Sorry for being mean) To stop her barging in your room, perhaps put a sign on the door saying "Your Name's Room." So it'll help remind her that someone else is living in her house. |
erailea:
I would move, god, I would move so fast, but all my friends are still in high school. I skipped a year of schooling, and the only ones who would be eager to move are stuck in situations where they have to care for sick parents, etc. (Save the druggies, and there's no way I'm living in a house associated with any illegal activity. They know that.) I'm trying to get out and look for a job. I just put one in with McDonalds. I'm looking for someone I can live with, but it may not be for another 2, 3 months, even if I'm lucky. Flowery Pit: My parents live in a tiny town about 2 hours away. The reason I didn't go to college there is because there are none. If I lived with my parents I'd be trapped in a dead zone, just like the other high school graduates there. Once more, I'm looking for a job. The recession makes things hard. I know that's no excuse, of course, but at least I have one good excuse: it's hard to get a job when you have fuschia hair, and it's hard to re-color it a normal color when you're flat broke. >> I intend on fixing that ASAP, of course. I intend on getting a lock for the room. In the mean time, I'll endure it and constantly remind her. Unfortunately ignoring her is almost impossible to me. I know I should but I'm so used to dealing with sane, responsive people it's become a habit of mine to try and create a sensible conversation over issues in an attempt to resolve on both sides. I probably just sound whiny. I know how frustrating it is when you try to help someone and they just go "noooo, but-" and make up excuses. Like I'm doing right now. |
Well that's why I said try to get a job at your college, I'm sure they don't give a poo about your hair color. Since most people who have a job at community college are students.
I know that it's hard to get one and you can't magically get one in 5 seconds, but I think rather than looking at resturants or stores, the school would be the best bet. Tutoring would be the best pick as a job too, they usually have open spots for that, if your college offers that as a job. Sorry for enforcing this again, I'm just making sure you understand. And you're not being whiny, it just everything is in a bad place right now. Your grandma is on your back and you're trying to scramble outta her home as fast as possible but the recession is a giant cement block in your way. So it's okay, I don't blame you. You just need to pull through even if this situation seems impossible. |
She's been gone on a 5 day vacation and it's been sweet, sweet heavenly bliss. Tonight in a few hours she'll be here and ready to harass me once more. In celebration of my last day I stayed up all night and have been thriving on purely coffee and cookie dough. Hopefully by the time she comes home I'll be too burnt out to speak and I'll manage to avoid her by slumber.
I'm gonna go around applying to some different places tomorrow since it's my day off, and on thursday I may talk to them about a job. Next semester I'm also considering switching from my community college to an art institute but...well, let's go one step at a time. x3 Job first. Then apartment away from the most horrid woman alive. Then art school. Then to take over the world. I'm just not going to be eager the day I tell her I'm going to move out. >> That's going to be horrible. |
I don't know what's worse...having an abusive parent or having an abusive grandmother.
There's always someone in people's families or whatever that just drains you...-_- I'm dying to move out like you are (at least for now my bitch parent wont be on my case, once she knows I'm not doing things how they want they'll be up my buttcrack again.) but its just too expensive. And in a world where part-time wages just don't cut it anymore it is tough. The finding work at the college sounds like a good bet. Also, try to get home late at night so grandma's only asleep. It's good to schedule time in your life to see your grandmother at minimal times. I try to go out and about before my parent gets home and I dont have to see, answer, or talk to them until I get home later that night. Being in school helps too. When I take a break from school, I leave the house and pretend I'm at work. it helps to always have an emergency fund to go out and about and stuff. Maybe ask your parents for some pocket change to go out? |
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