Menewsha Avatar Community

Menewsha Avatar Community (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/index.php)
-   Writer's Conference (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=95)
-   -   Fall of Jareth. Chapter 1! Should i continue or stop writing it? (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=132741)

Nikolas 10-05-2009 10:54 PM

Fall of Jareth. Chapter 1! Should i continue or stop writing it?
 
He was a king in a far away land and wanted more than anything to have a bride at his side which. Jareth was lonely and surrounded by his subjects, but depression started to subside in his daily life. No woman wanted to be with Jareth because he was selfish, self-centered and he did not care about the well-being of others. Especially his subjects in the town of Alcardore’. Therefore, he decided that the only way to get a bride or a wife especially was to force someone against her will.

Meiko Hanz is the town beauty and is everything that Jareth wants to find in a woman. He did not know anything about her until the night of the masque ball. A bright white and ivory dress with sequence all the way to the floor was what she wore. With it being off the shoulder, the entire dress made Meiko glow as if she was a priestess of another land. Glitter on the face made her seem as if she was Remedios the beauty, reincarnated. Meiko was a rose compared to the other women in the village. In the distance, Jareth saw her as he was dancing with another woman from the town and he could not stop staring. As if he looked like a deer in the highlights, her beauty struck Jareth with Cupid’s arrow. “Her,” he pointed to Meiko Hanz. “Bring her to me,” Jareth ordered his men.

Meiko did not protest as the men took her to the king. “Dance with me,” he ordered, and she put her palm into his hand. In just a blur of a second, Meiko was dancing and she felt as if he carried her into eternal abyss, which seemed like darkness formed this wicked dance for lovers. From his good looks to his dashing smile, Meiko tried to not fall into the trap, which the other women were in. Yes he was good looking and attractive, but, when it came down to it, he did not help the farmers when they asked King Jareth for his help on the crop taxes to the potholes that needed to be taken care of in the city. Jareth was not fit to be king, and he did not deserve to sit on the throne and do nothing all day as the servants did everything for him on a daily basis. Jareth did not want to believe that he was falling for this woman, for whom he wanted to turn the world upside down and stop time itself so they can keep dancing together forever. Jareth wanted Meiko to love him, and to be with him more than ever. In addition, he wanted Meiko to fear him more than anything. She did not fear him like all the other women who did and followed orders like a whipped puppy. Meiko did not like taking orders from anyone in which they would not make a purpose for any common good. Jareth found that Meiko was staring him in the eyes, so he found this rather entertaining, in which he hoped that she would come to love him over an amount of time because he was going to marry her, and Meiko would produce his heir to the throne. The music stopped immediately and Jareth clapped his hands. Immediately, everyone left but the two lovers that were having a quarrel.

“I ask for so little, rule with me, be at my side,” Jareth pleaded. “I refuse to be a wife to a scum pig-headed man like you,” Meiko rebuked. Yet it was tempting to fall in his arms. Leaving his side, Meiko turned to leave and headed to the door. “Let me go,” she ordered Jareth, as he grabbed her wrist. Using her wrist as a weapon, he brought her to him with her weight and momentum, Jareth brought Meiko to his body. Her arms were on his silk shirt, which felt like velvet. Meiko did not feel anything for Jareth, as he held her tight against his body. She tried to push away, but it was as if he was made of steel. She did not want to surrender to Jareth both body and soul, but it felt endless. Looking at her, Jareth thought that he could tame that wild part of Meiko that he saw at that very moment in her eyes. “Look at me,” Jareth said questionably. She resisted, and refused to be nothing more than something he wanted her to be. Jareth went to her and kissed Meiko on the lips with a gentle sweep of the tongue in hers. Immediately, she slapped him on the face and slipped out the front door. “Imprudent man,” Meiko said under her breath.

Knerd 10-06-2009 11:11 PM

Nikolas, I've moved this thread into the main Lit Spot forum. Any time you're just look for feedback on your story and aren't trying to initiate a specific discussion, this is where you want to put it. :yes:

Nikolas 10-07-2009 02:58 AM

Thanks for letting me know, I will keep that in mind next time i want to post something. Thank you for keeping me straight.


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:37 PM.