![]() |
Grocery List
(I had to write this for my Creative writing class... it is not my usual style but i wasnt to post it.)
Love of mine Would you mind I need some grapes on a vine Nuts maybe some pine Bread of some kind Chocolate strawberries at least nine Apples with a good shine Munster cheese with a rind Beef chicken swine Get your self something refined Be careful of the Starbucks line And don't forget the wine You know I like white wine If you get beer I won't mind But please do not forget my wine We shall dine I will help you unwind Treat you so divine You will be on cloud nine |
Don't take offence to this, but this reads so confusingly. It's nothing but fragments and lacks so much grammer I can't really even understand it.
Quote:
Quote:
Also if you're taking a creative writing class I think you'd undertand me when I say you definitly need more imagry. Rhyming isn't everything in poetry and the wording used is bland and boring for the most part. I feel nothing coming from it other than that perhaps you were forced to write it and really wasn't in to it, ya know? A poem should show me what's going on, not just tell me. I hope this helped. LNT |
I really enjoyed this, and i disagree with the prior comment about it. For it was to be like a grocery list. It reminded me of almost dr. seuss (which i think is a high compliment, the man was a genius)
And you being in a class shows that your still learning, or you wouldnt be in said class. Just keep up the work, make sure to read aloud as you go along, to make sure it sounds like it flows well. Make sure to keep eyes on grammar so you can show that your not just randomly spitting out words as well. |
| All times are GMT. The time now is 08:33 PM. |