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She shook her head and sighed.
"Rape." She admitted. |
Casey stopped what he was doing, putting his hands down on the table and looked at her, his eyes soft, but confused, "Why would you... be talking about something like that?" he asked, a sinking feeling in his stomach. He had an idea of what the answer would be, but he was hoping it wasn't.
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She shrugged and poked her food.
"Because Ive been raped." ((I HAVE NEVER ACTUALLY BEEN RAPED!)) |
((Good, I'm glad you haven't. It's a horrible thing to go through... (I know someone who has been.)))
He tilted his head quickly, moving his mouth but no words coming out. She seemed so serious, he knew she wasn't joking, and he was hoping that was the one answer that wouldn't come out of her mouth... But he still wasn't prepared for it to actually be her answer. He moved his hands into his lap, "And you're comfortable talking about it like that?" he asked, unbelieving it was something she would want to share with the whole school, let alone him...Still, he didn't want to push by asking too many questions about the incident, even though he had so many burning inside. |
Her brain was filled with that night. That was all she could think of. Nightmares of being sexually abused.
"No...but if it will protect other people I will. He did go to this school...he got sued...and suspended." |
Casey tilted his head, "He didn't go to jail or anything for it?!" he asked, keeping his voice low as he could, "When.. did it happen?" he asked hesitantly, not wanted to push her into talking if she wasn't uncomfortable, "Or do you not want to talk about it?" he asked.
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She shook her head and smiled.
"No, in fact it'll help me practice. Uhm...3 years ago." She hadn't let this much out about it to anyone since she appeared in court. |
"Three years... So you were, what twelve, thirteen?" he asked, knowing she had to be around his age, as they were both in the same grade. "Well, uhm, if you want to practice, you can pretend I'm the audience and say what you're going to say to them to me... If you want." he suggested, trying to help.
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She stood up and threw away her lunch and walked back to him.
"I had just turned thirteen." She wanted to start crying, but she knew she wouldn't. |
He watched her walk away and was slightly relieved when she did return, "Do you want to tell me about it...?" he asked her, pushing his own food away.
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She closed her eyes and nodded.
"Well...I was at my friends house for her 13 birthday party, we were playing games and then her older 15 year old brother came downstairs. He told me to come up to his room so he could find his birthday present for you. He then stuck his hand down my blouse and he hit me when I tried to resist..." |
He listened to her story, "A-and...?" he asked, afraid to hear if and how it got worse. Casey could feel his heartbeat pounding in his chest. He didn't seem to be breathing either..
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She took in deep breaths and sighed.
"He set me on the bed and...yeah." |
Casey wasn't sure how to react. He put a hand over her shoulder and leaned into her, "I'm so sorry you went through that..." he said.
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She nodded and opened her eyes.
"Me too." She whispered. |
Casey wasn't sure what else to do. He had never had anyone confess something like this before. Granted she was going to tell the whole school, and he had said she could, but he wasn't prepared with what to say. Slowly, he took his arm back and looked down. "Well... have you... recovered from it?" he asked, not even sure completely what he meant himself.
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She shrugged.
"Do you mean physically or mentally?" she asked. She didn't know what he meant by "recovered". She just stared at the brown table. |
Casey wasn't expecting her to be so blunt about asking him something like that, and he was slightly taken aback by it. He was curious as to both answers, so he replied, "Both of them..."
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She sighed and knew she would be honest, she had nothing to hide.
"Physically, no. Mentally...no." She looked down to make sure she didn't have a skirt or shorts on. |
Casey tilted his head a bit, "Well, is there anything I can..." he stopped speaking the second he realized he was probably out of line, "I mean, what's holding you back?" he asked.
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She rubbed her dry eyes and shrugged again.
"I just...mentally, I'm scarred with that nightmare forever, physically, bruises...scars..." |
Casey looked down, "I can imagine having nightmares, but... You still have bruises from three years ago?" he asked incredulously, "S-scars..?" he asked, not sure what to expect in reply.
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She rolled up her pant leg and revealed a large gash on the back of her leg.
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"Oh my god..!" he said, his eyes widening at it, "what did...?" he began to ask but stopped himself.
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She took in a gulp and rolled her pant leg back down.
"I am NEVER going to get that time back. I am NEVER going to get that friend back. I am NEVER going to not have a scar on that leg." Her friend did invite her back there, but she told her the truth, nothing but the truth and she didn't believe her. |
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