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-   Poetry (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=128)
-   -   Feed Back! (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140711)

turkdragon13 11-05-2009 01:26 AM

Feed Back!
 
I need every ones feed back on these poems:


I hate when you do this

I hate when you do this,
It's always me,
Even when I don't break the rules miss,
you heartlessly take my smile from me.

I hate when you do this,
You change the rules when I'm right,
This is unfair miss,
So I decide to write.


I hate when you do this,
You break the rules,
Then you blame us miss,
You make fun of us, you call us fools.


I hate when you do this,
Also, you love glitter,
Oops did I call you miss?
I meant mister.


I Feel Invisible

No one hears me,
I'm screaming,
Is it because,
She's teasing me?
I can't handle it no more,
Knocking my feelings down,
Down to the ground.
I'm bleeding inside,
I'm breeding pure wine,
My sins are taking over,
Over my dead body.
It's cold, it's dead,
It's filled with lead.



PLEASE DO NOT STEAL THESE POEMS!! thank you!:)

Serafina Amaranta 11-05-2009 05:26 AM

Quite intriguing.


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