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Look a little closer at the time stamp. It was posted in the middle of the night. One A.M, not One P.M.
...and thank you, though I should think it a bit much to say I was on the way to greatness. |
Well my night time lasts till 4 am so I think it works
True you may not think so... but it is not the poet who falls in love with their own work. Even their most hated piece can be a famous gem loved by all but them, for an artist who falls in love with their own work ceases to strive to develop. |
That is certainly true. I suppose as well that was I ever certain that what I was writing was my best work ever, I could not put as much effort into it. Better then to see my flaws and seek to do better, than be satisfied with less than my potential. Is that what you're saying?
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Yes... a true artist is never satisfied... because a true piece of art is never finished =)
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Wow...that was actually quite deep. Sadly, I'm not feeling any poetic inspirations at the moment though. Perhaps my muse is on her coffee break?
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I have near constant writers block for essays and poems... but random metaphors I can throw out like rain
Part of that was something a poetry teacher told us, that a poem is never complete, only finished. |
Well, that certainly sounds right to me. I certainly could go back and do different with every poem I ever wrote. Ultimately, a poem is just imagery to convey an experience in a way that tells more than a description alone could. Sort of an extended metaphor, I suppose. That really sounds too clinical a description though. Still, though, there's always more ways to say something, especially how you feel.
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=) I like to describe poetry as more like a written painting for the mind to feast upon.
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My Poem
Here's a poem that I wrote that I wanted some feedback on. So let me know what you think honestly.
Run Right Through Me Let's see right now I am so hyper and happy that I have no idea why? Oh yeah, perhaps it could be the thoughts that are running through my mind. "What thoughts are running through your mind?" The average person would ask and I sit and I smile. I don't think the average person is really ready to take a dive into my personal thoughts. Smiling should do pretty good, because if you knew what I truly thought, you would be truly amazed. Because you see my thoughts are mesmerizing and psychedelic, and can easily blow your mind. One look into my mind and you are completely blown away by the world of colors and how my words just flow together like the art work of Picasso. This blog is my canvas the words are my paints and I'm about to paint the greatest masterpiece ever, because I'm going to let these words run right through me. Let them run right through me and escaped my fingers like I'm Beethoven playing symphony no.7. Because they run right through me like the sweetest smell of a fresh baked batch of your favorite cookies that momma just made. My words they run right through me, and I'm not pulling the plug on them as if they are some dying patient taking their last breath. No because you see the truth of all of the situation is; it is what it is The truth of the situation is yes I"m feeling you and I've been nothing but honest with you; because see if anything is ever to pop off at least you can say that I have always been honest like good old honest Abe I'm going to let my words run right through me Take the world and look at it outside of this cage that society has built And you too can see the world's beauty even in the smallest of things that others label ugly, because even the most beautiful things can be ugly and the ugliest things not so ugly at all. See this is what is in my mind and now I'm letting my words run right through me |
I think the poem is quite nice in substance; however, for your critiquing request I shall give my personal opinion on how it is written. I mean no offense by these, merely my opinion, and as the poet you may ignore which ones you don't agree with.
First, the poem seems written more like a story than a poem, as the lines are very long in some places. Second, I love your use of the famous artists and such, =) a few more (say 1 or 2) might add to the poem. Lastly, I believe that this poem's content is very high quality; however, mesmerizing and psychedelic seem to be the only big words in the poem, which makes them somewhat out of place. (A few more littered around the poem might balance it out. ^^ Remember... I'm merely a reader... >.>" and somewhat OCD with my poems. Your poem doesn't seem to follow any specific rules, so I assume you intended free-verse. But one thing to keep in mind as you write, is to be careful that things do not feel out of place unless intended that way =) ^^ happy writing... and hope my comments help in some way (Sorry if I was a bit harsh) |
I don't really like to give criticisms, since I feel like I'm a little bit too harsh. However, since someone else has said some of the same thing, I might as well add my two pence.
To me, gamesnanimegrl, it seems more like prose than poetry. Even free verse should have a rhythm to it, which I don't entirely get. Personally, I would play with the sentence structure a bit, to try to build more of a regular and even cadence. Other than that, the imagery is certainly vivid. It makes a definite impression, and that's good. |
@ Jethren - One thing though is that not all poems, nor free verse poems have a rhythm involved. Rhythm is just an additive to make the poem, generally a little more playful or flow better. I never understand when people say that if it doesn't rhyme it's not poetry...:headdesk: (Not saying you did... but that's what came to mind from what you said - I tend to interpret people wrong sometimes)
I don't usually like giving feedback either... because as I love harsh feedback (that's useful) I also tend to give it, but as most people will not take harsh comments well, I only do so when asked. |
How was your week so far WP?
Did it go well for you likewise for me? Or did it bring you down and you need help to get rid of the frown? |
My frown is content being in the back of my mind, and you?
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I'm doing well. Why do you have a frown in the back of your mind?
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Hating who I was and fearing who I will become... the usual...
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Conflicting personality problems?
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Nope... no trust in my ability to stay the person I want to be
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That can never be helped. People change all the time, at every second. As the world continually changes so do we.
By the way I had a thought. Since beans grow in the ground are they related to potatos? They look similiar and in some cases taste similiar. |
Well... my future is going to be different from the mistakes I made in my past... as next year I plan to get married to my fiance and stuff... so I guess early anxiety?
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I'm sure you'll do fine.
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Maybe true... >.< but so many are ruined because of people changing
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No one ever stays the same.
Even if you change, there's no need to blame. It may feel strange, but deep down you'll always be the same. |
That may be true too
But that does not mean this Is who I will be |
You may fear changes
But there is no need to fear You can survive it. |
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