Schizophrenia
 

I am twenty two years old, with a three year old daughter. Her father is a paranoid schizophrenic, and although he is getting treatment..he still has episodes.

My therapist tells me that I should turn and run (really..she said that..word for word).

Anyone with this mental illness who can share some insight? I would really appreciate it.

I don't have schizophrenia, but I've known people with it and it runs in my family apparently. I'd rather not go into the details of what I know yet, just know that I know some things, but can you tell me this . . . . .

Why does your therapist think you should run exactly? What does he do during his episodes? Has he done anything violent? And why isn't his treatment working? Is he on pills?

If you or your child is in danger, physically or otherwise, then you need to get far away from that situation.

If there is no danger, then you should stay and support him (if that's what you want to do, that is).

I don't have it but I know people who has been in your position, sorta. My friends step-dad was schizophrenic. He was really abusive towards her mom, both physically (I think) and mentally. Plus he would do really weird stuff. She told me about how he locked some girl in his car and wouldn't let her leave...ANYWAY. Her mom finally left him and moved away. It was the best thing to do because at that rate something bad was going to happen. Of course, schizo or not, he had other issues. He had a gambling problem etc so that added to it.

I agree with this post.

Yea, this is why I'm trying to ask her questions in my post.

People with schizophrenia have really hard lives and I feel really bad for them, but at the same time, I've been around dangerous schizophrenics that I had to get away from because they were getting violent with me (and once they are convinced that they need to attack you for their own safety or whatever reason, you can't convince them not to), so it's really confusing to know whether or not she should really be running from him.

I wanted her to answer our questions and explain the situation better so I could give my opinion on whether it was better for her to stay or not.

It really does depend upon how he, personally, reacts to and deals with the Schizophrenia, how severe it is, whether or not he is on the appropriate medication, and whether or not he takes it.

My uncle has Schizophrenia, and when he takes his medication like he's supposed to, and doesn't mix them with alcohol, he's a great guy. When he doesn't take his medication, he becomes highly unstable and completely unpredictable; he can suddenly become emotionally, verbally or physically abusive for seemingly no reason at all.
Sometimes the reason he doesn't take his medication is because of his condition, as his paranoia causes him not to take his pills, which makes his paranoia worse, so it's a vicious cycle.

I do feel sorry for him, I do still love him, and I know it's not his own fault, but he was not a good father, and he can be a danger to himself and others.

So it does depend upon how your child's father behaves. If he is putting you or your child in any danger, yes, living with him might not be such a good idea.
But I would not advise just running away and never seeing him again. Even if you decide not to be in a relationship with him any more, he still has a right to visit and spend time with his daughter.

I find it's best to spend time together only in a public place, then if he does become volatile, you're not alone and can get your child to safety quickly and easily. You could regularly meet him for lunch in a cafe, go for days out together as a family, etc.

The safety of your little girl comes first, but you still need to be understanding and supportive.

I have paranoid schizophrenia. Even if he's on good treatment he can still have episodes due to stress. He may not be use to kids.

Schizophrenia is a very complex disease and schizophrenics can be very hard to live with it. As Keyori said if you and your child are endangered by being around him then you should leave. There are different types of schizophrenia and different treatments. Sadly there are cases of drug resistant schizophrenia. The disease is diverse and unpredictable it is difficult too establish what to expect in the future.

You need to think about the safety of your kids first and foremost. Perhaps you can work out a situation where the kids can still keep in touch with their father, during the good times?

The fact your therapist said that is pretty creepy. You should ask exactly why that's the case, and discuss this in extreme in depth with her.

I've known people who suffered from it. There was this one family, their father was fine on the meds, but he would have episodes and would be really bad, combined with drinking. The kids were definitely affected by growing up with him, so you need to consider how it will affect your daughter to watch him through his up and downs and how you plan to explain it to her. You know, like how it's not her fault, and stuff like that- it can be done just needs to be an ongoing thing with support. Make sure you can handle supporting her and him when he needs you as well. If he ever gets violent or abusive, that's a red flag right there. If stress triggers his episodes, well kids are going to bring stress, that's for sure, especially down the road.

I wish you the best of luck, it's never an easy decision.

I personally agree with Cherish...

It's dangerous to expose children to a difficult disorder they could potentially not understand.
It's very kind of you to believe you have to take care of the person you love 'cause he's in a difficult situation that's not even his fault, but consider it could harm your child, if not phisically, psychologically, and leave a deep, scary scar in her.
Even if you do your best to patch up the situation, a parent that's not able to handle his behavior for any possible reason it's a very dangerous threaten to the future of a child.
Please, keep in mind children understand WAY MORE than people could actually believe about feelings. A stressful and difficult, sad enviroment could be a plus you don't want to add. Noticing your mother is in a difficult situation and your father is quite troubling is not a very good shot for the kid, trust me, I lived it firsthand.

You know the situation more than all of us, you're the only one knowing what are those episodes, and stuff.
Think carefully about what to do.

Why DID your therapist tell you to run?
I really hope he's not physically harming you or your daughter. =(