Menewsha Avatar Community - Spirit of a Warrior

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Spirit of a Warrior

I wrote this 4 years ago in middle school and recently ran across it again. It was one of the last poems I wrote before I set aside my pen. I have had it rolling around in my head lately and just want to put it down. If you have some helpful critique or an opinion I would be eager to hear it.

I assert this is an original composition. I hold all rights to the poem below and all future edits I may make to it. And copying of or claiming of this poem as your own will be legally persecuted as I have had all my work copyrighted.

Spirit of a Warrior

Why oh forsaken world do you treat me this way
My life lays in ruin, ashes left after fray
My hands lay bloodied for all I have done
The reaper of souls for I have none

Why oh memory do you treat me this way
Bringing up days long washed away
Your unyielding fingers rake me with pain
Taking away the sanity gained

But I blame not you, I blame not anyone
It is I who fights on to leave ruin in my wake
I who destroys without building up
I who is a failure in every way

I look in to a neighbors eye with nothing good to say
Spilling words of acid to mar and take away
I have spirit, the spirit of a warrior
Fighting on without the knowledge of how to back away

I enjoy that type of poetry. I myself have set the pen aside, but I have written poems in the past. This one is a new style for my eyes to come across, as most find modern the best. Love the poem and hope you get inspiration to write some more.

I let myself do a type of structured freestyle.

I found myself happily surprised by this poem, I am usually not one for any type of poetry but this particular poem actually inspired me just a bit.

My favorite part had to be the last two stanzas, but my favorite part would have to be the end:

Quote:

I have spirit, the spirit of a warrior
Fighting on without the knowledge of how to back away

The reason I liked this part was because it held some truth for me, whenever I have to describe a warrior or a character that is brave or "courageous to the point of stupidity" I always find myself thinking that it is because they've never been the type to back down, it's just not in their nature and I think you captured that spectacularly in so few words.

The only part I wasn't all that fond of was:

Quote:

My life lays in ruin, ashes left after fray

I noticed after rereading it that "fray" rhymed with "way" but something about the way it sounded confused me, I'm not entire sure what it was that did, maybe it was just the way you worded it. I understood that it was supposed to be about a battle, but the phrase seems a little detached to me. Of course I am not an expert in poetry so maybe if I was I'd understand it better. So, that is really the only part I wasn't "wow'd" by.

Overall I enjoyed your poem, it was something that spoke to me and gave me an urge to write, so good job!