![]() |
Where should I go?
I'm being kicked out of my parents house in August.
They're under the impression that 21 is to old to live with one's parents *shrug* I have two friends of mine who have offered a place to live. One of them is my friend Mandy. She'd like me to be her roommate- we'd live in downtown, I'd hopefully get a good job at a call center, and we'd share a two bedroom apartment. We know each other pretty well, and we really think that it might work- except that she wants to move out now. Not in August/July. I had wanted to save more money before I had to leave. My other friend is Cain. I have a huge crush on him, and I'd really like to be able to see him more often. It'd really help him out if I could- but that is only if the person that he's already offered the room declines. I don't know if that other person wants the room or not. The iffy-ness is grating. Mandy says that it might not be a good idea to live with a person that I'm crushing on- as if I got upset because of him that could be a little awkward. While I definably see her point- I'd love the chance to see him more often and perhaps, just maybe, grow a little bit more fond of each other in the process. I think that'd be pretty awesome. Also- I'd hate to turn him down. Cain's a good friend of mine, and I'd do next to anything for him. I also know him a bit better than Mandy- and we hold a bit more of the same interests. We're both gamers, and we both have our 'me' time. Also- Mandy smokes pot. While she says that she would keep it in either her room or the bathroom- I don't think I'd be too pleased to be going to game with Cain smelling of the drug. I know that it would irk me to no end. Help? |
I'd move in with the guy, but totally not go out with him. Dating a roommate isn't a good idea.
I get along great with my guy friends and they offer to share rooms with me, but we have no feelings for each other. So that's a little different. Just be where you're happy. |
Quote:
Since hopefully getting to date him is definably one of those reasons that I want to move in with him- this is a rather important question. Especially if moving in with him would hinder that. I do have feelings for Cain, so that is probably a bit of an issue here. Oh- and I suppose I should mention the other people that live in Cain's house: My manager My managers.... friend who happens to be female (O.o)- who I get along with rather well My former manager- who is very strict. and Lance- who is a womanizer. One of them is moving out- but I cannot for the life of me remember whom >_< |
If theres more people around, maybe it would be better.
The guy you're dating will be there 24/7. Even if you get into a small fight, he'd still be there. Plus you might get to know him -too- well. Guys are sorta very weird once you start being around them too much. They're better in visits and such. I mean, I'd never room with my boyfriend. We'd just sit around all day and do nothing all day. |
Quote:
Especially since we both work. And usually at rather conflicting times ^^; So there is a good chance I really wouldn't see much of him.... |
The iffiness about getting that place is a bit dis-concerning, however I think it would be the best option to move in there. Something like the scent of pot would really get to you after awhile, meanwhile I think you have the restraint to handle a situation like living in the same house as Cain.
You don't have to be best friends with people you live with, so these others shouldn't be much of a problem as long as you can be civil towards each other. The most important thing is that you have a roof over your head and warm place to sleep. |
I think you should live with the guy, if you can. It just seems like the logical choice to me.
and it could possibly turn into a relationship eventually=) |
there ways to handle womanizers. The most effective is the baseball bat. That's my personal fave!
The managers can be kinda strange but you get along with her so it's not to big of deal. If the former manager owns it, I'd be worry. As for Mandy, you'll both be sharing it right. Lay dawn what you want and the ground rules with her. If you don't like the smoking tell her it can't be in the apartment. People will call the cops if they smell it and you'll be considered an partner in it. Make sure you cover your own ass. She's to do it else where. Since you'll both being paying rent I'm more iffy about her habit. She might not be able to pay on due dates and such. |
Runes has some awesome advice for you Wyndi. I definitely agree.
If you can reason with her it'd be nice to move in somewhere that's close to where you're hoping to work. There just seems to be a lot of "If's" in what you're trying to figure out yet. Maybe you need a little more time to get something concrete about this. |
More time definably sounds like a plan... I guess I'll just have to hope that Mandy's understanding about that ^^;
Thank you so much everybody for helping me with this ^^ |
Not a problem, I hope you find what's just right for you! Good luck!
|
You should choose whoever you're ok with hating one day. Friends don't always make the best rommates. A bunch of my friends moved in with their best friends, and they don't talk to one another anymore. I moved back in with my sister--my sister! and by the end of it we weren't talking anymore.
Choose the easygoing person. the person without passive agressive tendencies. the person who commmunicates well. the person who can pay the rent. the person who can solve conflicts easily. who lives a similiar lifestyle to you (are you a late-night person? do you host parties? do you like quiet? are you messy?) these are more important questions than who you have a crush on. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
I am not one of those sort of people who make friends easily- so to lose one? That would be so painful.... I haven't lost a friend since grade three, and I don't intend on starting now!! And I didn't hate her! Nor do I now! o.o! I should choose the person /without/ passive aggressive tendencies? Well, in that case I should be fine considering that neither of them have that. Mandy is better than Cain at communicating, but I have more to communicate with Cain /about/. Also- with Mandy I would have to worry a bit about paying rent... With Cain its all under /him/- as in I pay him who pays the landlord. If one of the people in the house can't pay that month- that money comes out of Cain's pocket. So I don't have to worry about him not being able to pay- and I'd make /sure/ that he wouldn't have to worry about me. I don't want something like that to make him..... .... .... hate..... me........... Hate?! Really? Are you /sure/!? 'cause I'm a real "Bend over backwards" for my friends type of person...... |
*hugs Wyndi* Yes you do bend over backwards for us.
I really don't think you'll end up hating each other. It really is possible to live with people and not end up fighting. Just be reasonable and open minded. I'm still fine with people I've been living with for a year now. We've never been the best of friends but we're civil to each other and we respect one another's space. Sometimes we share food, we help each other as decent human beings should. There is no end-all rule that you will end up hating the people you live with. I'm sorry, but that's just a little ridiculous and rather horrifying to tell someone who's moving out for the first time. Not cool ms wolcott, not cool. |
| All times are GMT. The time now is 08:05 PM. |