She doesn't treat me like a friend anymore?
 

So when I first moved to the state I live in now, I had difficulty fitting in. Until I met her. She became a really close friend and she introduced me to more friends and I actually started to -know- people because of her. We've been friends for several years now, and up until now I've never had a boyfriend. My boyfriend just happens to be friends with her also and they were pretty close friends for a while. He liked her at one point, but she rejected his feelings. he's way over that now and he and I are very much in love. Everything would be perfect except for one thing: She treats me differently. Like....she doesn't treat me like a friend, she acts as if I just happen to be the girl who's dating her friend. I'll try to be affectionate and friendly with her and she'll just kinda brush me off or if she's mad at me, she'll complain to my boyfriend saying, "Your girlfriend blah blah blah [insert stupid complaint here]". It hurts so much to be treated this way and I can't understand why. I remember once, I was with my boyfriend driving and we happened to see her so we pulled over to talk. She talked to my boyfriend as if he was the only one in the car and didn't even acknowledge my existance until he said something, then she was like.."Oh, hi." I don't get why she's acting like this, it's so unfair.

c.c She's a huge butch. She always has been. I've often wondered if maybe she does/did have feelings for him....but I know they never actually did anything. Girls really are confusing.

Oh no....I completely understand. I just don't get why she's doing this to me after being friends for like...4+ years. My boyfriend says its because she hates relationships, but she doesn't do that to a friend of mine. She's really close to my friend, who's in a relationship. Granted, she's a lesbian, this friend of mine, but still....maybe it is because she's one? =/ Maybe it's just because he doesn't spend time with her anymore now that he's with me alot...v.v

First of all let me say this is why I don't get close to girls. They are WAY to Catty. A bit of advice to help your situation:
She might be jelous that the boy that once had feelings for her is now with you. That's how some girls are. She's not getting the attention she once got from him and even though your her best friend she is still upset at the fact that you have the guy that once liked her. That's just something she has to learn to get over. If this is what she is dealing with.. then she is being VERY immature. I suggest you stay away from her for a while and maybe even talk to your boyfriend about it. If your boyfriend loves you, he wouldn't give her a second thought. He would stick up for you because he loves you. You don't deserve a "friend" like that. Sometimes friends come and go but that's part of life. You'll meet new friends and you'll be happy (:

It sounds to me like she now has feelings for your boyfriend. If so, it's completely ridiculous of her to act that way towards you, since she rejected him in the past and has no claim on him. Or, if she's single, she could just be jealous that you have a boyfriend but she doesn't. My advice would be to confront her about it.

I think that it's very probable that she's upset that her hangout buddy is busy with a girl, even if it's a friend. She's just incredibly selfish and a huge attention whore....I dunno...>< And he does stick up for me...xD He'll tell her straight to her face(which is quite a feat) that he doesn't care what she thinks and/or to respect me.

@Lysine- I thought that too, you know? It's one of the few reasons that would make sense. She scares me...>< I dunno how I'd confront her about it without dying.

Maybe she just doesn't know how to react to two of her friends dating each other. I know a lot of people that are like that and sometimes they give off harsh feelings when they don't really know what else to do.

I would try talking with her about it and who knows, you might just find out what the problem is and you guys can start working on it.

She sounds jealous. Maybe it's that she doesn't want to share him with you and lose their friendship. Or maybe she's mad at you for going out with him because you and her were so close. Maybe she finds it odd that her two closest friends are dating, and she feels left out or just awkward. She may not know what exactly to do about it. Sit her down ALONE and talk her through it. Let her know how you feel. Don't try to refrain from hurting her feelings, because as a friend she should want to know and make it better.

I suppose you guys are right. I just.....she just seemed so supportive of the idea before we started dating, but then afterwards, things changed. I guess I'll have to confront her sometime, but I'm so shy and she like...has a huge, overwhelming temper. I'm afraid to talk to her about anything.

Approach her in a non-threatening manner. Let her know that you're not trying to attack her, you just want to know what happened. Maybe just say that you miss the connection you used to have.

>< Alright...I'll try. Would it be better to do it in person?

Yea, definitely do it in person and if you keep saying over and over again,"I just want to be friends with you again. I miss you and I want to understand what is wrong so we can be friends again", it will be harder for her to get mad at you. It's really hard to get mad at someone who's confronting you because of something that nice. At least, if I was your friend and you were confronting me and saying what I just said, I'd find it impossible to get mad at you. XD

Just try not to get mad at her too much if she talks to you calmly about it or cries. You want to show her that you're still on her side and are not trying to hurt her, but also don't let her walk all over you and treat you poorly.

If she is being jealous and selfish, though, and she refuses to try to make it up with you, you're probably going to have to (subtly) stop being her friend and try to keep your boyfriend on your side if you can (but do it subtly, so he doesn't take her side and act mature about it) because honestly, it's really hard to be friends with someone who doesn't want you to fall in love and be happy. I've had friends that were girls who flirted with every guy I liked, etc., etc. and did the whole jealousy thing after they rejected guys and the guys winded up liking someone else. If they can't think of you at all and can only think of themselves, then it's impossible to be friends with someone like that. But if she genuinely says she's struggling with something and wants to get better (even if it's what I just said), just try to listen and help her through it because not all girls are that immature.

Alright, I'll definately try that. I've tried calling her and texting her, but she doesn't really respond. It's hard to get her alone, but I'll do my best to do that.

My boyfriend has been on my side from the beginning, he loves me deeply. He just shrugs off her rudeness because he's been friends with her longer. He knows how headstrong and self-centered she is, so he's become indifferent to it. I'm too nice for my own good, so I can't understand/shut off my feelings for that kind of behaviour. He does defend me, don't get me wrong, he's the first to protect me...but I don't want protection from a friend, I just want to know whats up with her. I've grown distant with too many people because of change, I don't want to lose another one.

I agree with Lysine, your friend does have a feeling for that boy. Maybe before that, she was expecting that your boyfriend will run for her no matter what, since his in love with her and yet it turns out to be that exact opposite of what she is thinking. Maybe she is jealous in your relationship with him that she supposed to fill in. As what lysine said, confront her. Ask her whats wrong and the reason why she is so mean to you.

>< That sounds logical, even if it was years ago since his affections for her. Thank you for all your guys' advice. It just helps confirms my own suspicions.