Menewsha Avatar Community - Do you have a deep dark secret that you really want to tell someone but don't know how?

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- - Do you have a deep dark secret that you really want to tell someone but don't know how? (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=162953)

Quote:

Originally Posted by EmiEmi (Post 1767669692)

Teeeheee you're my new advise/self confidence booster/type/ish/idk/like person, Lillian. -huggles- Thanks :) I feel better now. And I'm always awwing at couples. xD I think that they're the cutest things ever. ' 3' Although it bugs me when it's a really shy couple and people are mocking them. I've had a guy break up with me once because his friends were being so obnoxious and he was getting so embarassed.... well that was only part of the reason. The other was because he was a total wussy and didn't even wanna hold my hand. xD Oh well.

Whoa. Lillian (she now talks in third person) is shocked...very shocked of you to say that. Thank you. :) Lillian is very glad that she could help out. And she is so sorry to hear about your ex boyfriend. :( Lillian's friends can be that way...but she's not shy about it anymore....:3

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Fortis Silas (Post 1767675659)

My secret? Hmm..

I used to cut myself...a lot more frequently than anybody knows. Everybody thinks I quit about 2 years back, but I did it recently. Hell, I did it on break when I still had a job maybe 3 months ago.

Not because I hated myself, not because I liked the pain (I HATE pain), but...well, because I hated it. I wanted a means to punish myself for being less than perfect. I got a little crazy with self control, and it's never really left my head that I need to be flawless. Only recently have I been trying to let go, and I almost went back to square one with all the bad things going on recently.

The only think keeping me from doing it is knowing that my girlfriend would see them, and I don't want her to worry about me. Having her around caring really kept me from self-harm when things went down hill for me a few weeks ago.

Lillian used to cut herself too...she was so unhappy with her life...but that all stopped when this summer came into play and she met her boyfriend who has taught her to relax and enjoy life. Thanks to him, Lillian has got everything she has ever wanted. :)

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Aetera (Post 1767675847)

Hm, so far only my parents, the dean in charge of student affairs at my college, and the one friend that realized that something was wrong and helped me know that I was suicidal, and almost went through with it last semester. I hit the worst down I've ever had in my life (I have severe bipolar depression, diagnosed professionally and medicated, before you assume that it's self-diagnosed from the internet like a lot of attention-seekers).

I got really bad bronchitis right before I was about to take a whiskey-tylenol cocktail, which gave me enough of a constantly coughing gag reflex that I knew I'd just throw it up, and my friend that I mentioned realized that something was wrong with me right before I was about to finish up with the x-acto blade that I bought. She took all of the blades, pills, and alcohol out of my room and stayed with me until she was sure that I wouldn't try anything again. I still managed to cut myself up pretty well, though.

I'd like to tell my friends, since I know they really care about me, but I don't know how. I was joking about killing myself with them throughout the later half of the semester, but none of them except for the one friend thought that I was serious about it. I don't want them to feel guilty for not taking the joking seriously. D:

I'm back on my meds, and I kind of want to put it behind me, but I still feel like I should at least tell my closest friends.

You should. You should tell them. You are their closest friend and to be that means to be honest and to work things out. :)

Haha why is Lillian speaking in third person now?

:( I did for a little bit. :P I saw one of my friends doing so and they said that you get more gold that way. Now, I just got tired of it and so did a lot of friends. -_-* Lol

i use to be a cutter when i was younger and I don't like telling people that when I first meet them in person. It's okay to tell people on a forum, but I'm too scared to tell people when I meet them face to face.

I agree with you, Kaden.

Lillian|| haha well, I guess it could get tiring after a while.

Kaden|| I get that. I'll start talking to someone and they won't tell me about that particular secret until we're better aquainted. I know other people can be repelled by that detail of someone's past, thinking that they may end up with a heavier emotional load in the friendship than they originally intended. Luckily I don't think that way. lol But I think it's smart to hold off on that. At the same time, you wouldn't want to start talking to someone who seems to have a lot of promise just to find out that they're shallow and timid. : /

Quote:

Originally Posted by dessertdesiert (Post 1767718185)

I am the other girl

Huh? Wait, I am confused. O.o

Quote:

Originally Posted by lillian90005 (Post 1767718310)

Huh? Wait, I am confused. O.o

You know like in a relationship... where somebody cheats... >.>

Dessert- ... No idea how to react to that. I havn't been in many relationships. lol The most recent, second longest, and most ... well i thought it was the most loving for a while.... he was sleeping with another girl the whole three months. He's only 17! D: I'm 16... I'm sorta.... idk i don't like the idea of kids having sex in highschool. xD But anywho. The other girl tried to tell me and I thought that she was just a psycho bitch and i didn't believe her. What he did tore me to shreds, to bits and pieces I'm still healing from it all. >< Even though I'm over him, I'm not fully recovered from what he did.

So.

Are you going to tell her? Have you told her? Is he going to break up with her? Or is he going to wait until there's a pregnancy scare like my case? D:

Haha Sorry. You don't have to respond to any of that. I'm just a little crazed when it comes to guys who cheat. And i have nothing against "Other girls." :3 They just worry me. >< And I end up feeling aweful for the girlfriend.

darling we havent had sex just doing everything but that... i dont think i am gonna see him again... and i don't think i am gonna tell her cause I am not that close to her and the reason that we werent in a friendship for like a year was cause "I didn't help her study for a test" which is retarded but whatever our friendship is that I know her a bit... not much more... so whatever...

and I doubt he will tell.... they have broken up once cause he used drugs once or twice... and yeah i dont think their relationship will last and if it does she doesnt need worry about him cheating all the time and get paranoid about it... which she would probably do... so yea...

Aw well... I hope it all works out for everyone. ><

I dunno what will happen... It's not like i am in love with him.... i just made some wrong decisions... all my life... then again i was messed up from the start....

I once dated one of my girl friends(I'm a girl), and I've had a crush on one of the others for the longest time, but I don't want to tell her because I don't know how she'd react. Her parents are really against it, and I know she's straight, and I don't want to ruin our friendship.

So I finally found a guy I liked, that liked me back, and I'm starting to notice all the other cute, nice, and amazing guys(and girls) around me. I can't help my thoughts D: they run away with me!

hmmm well i've stole $$ before, shoplifted and cut myself. of course i don't do that anymore though ;)
me and my best friend actually told each other our deepest darkest secrets, and we both found each others funny... guess it's not as deep as we all think?
but anyways i just have to share hers because it's so funny. her's was that she likes watching porn LOL. Its funny because she was so serious when she told me :XD

I have a lot of secrets. Most I tell my husband. I honestly can not think of anything he does not know about me. As for other people, a lot of people do not know that I am in an open marriage. I don't really care if people find out, they just assume that people I am with are friends and I really feel no reason to explain myself to other people.

I don't know where to begin. I'm such a horrible person.

I have stolen money (over $1,500), I've shoplifted (Close to $200 worth of stuff), I've cheated on exams (which feels like nothing in retrospect)...
But the biggest thing I'm hiding is my sexuality.
I'm in love with a girl, who (I don't think) loves me back, but I keep dating guys to prove I'm not bi/gay (I think I might be a lesbian) but there is no way I can ever come out, becuase of where I live.
My sister knows I'm at least bi, and she's accepting, becuase I've told her all of my feelings for this girl...

Well, I've come to the point where my boyfriend now knows my deepest darkest secret. But still...I'm not planning to tell anyone else anytime soon. :P But I guess I'll say this...I still have a small crush on my boyfriend's brother. -.-' yeah. But no worried. I like him but I'm in love with my boyfriend. ;) Plus his brother is too old for me. O.o

Another secret: I had my one friend shop lift for me because she did that for stuff she could steal. But that was then, we don't do that anymore. And another one: I used to steal a few dollars out of my dad's wallet. o.o Not very secrety, but it's my secrets.

To keep it short......... I love him

i like two guys but only one im in love with but im afraid to let the other one down since we had made plans together

I know so many people have aleady said it, so I guess its not that big of a deal, but I cut. Not as often though. It used to be every night. But I've never made it deep at all (Cuz I can never find anything sharp enough) and that would honestly piss me off everytime. They left thin scabbed scratches. I'm sometimes glad that they don;t go deep anymore, but there are times where I want to just stab the damn scissors in them >.< I know I'm a freaky psycho chick. My mom and my sister know about it and they thought I quit. To tell you the truth I want to quit, I waant to not have that feeling of so much pain that I feel I have to do it, ut it keeps coming back. A lot has happened to me over the past couple years that all of this is hard to handle. It doesn't help that my sister deals with stuff with drugs and alcohol. She uses air-duster a lot. Yesterday she was knocked out on the floor and she had no idea what happened. I'm scared she's going to accidently over-dose. I told her that and she told me to not worry, but how can I not? She's my big sis and I always thought she was the coolest person alive. She was my idol. It's all gotten complicated.

Alright...so here's a few of my darkest secrets which I'm not afraid to share because my girlfriend can't see and I'm perfectly fine saying them on here.

A - I love watching Barbie Movies...WHAT NOW!? XD

B - Almost every dream about my girlfriend involves sex...and that hasn't happened in real life yet. So...yeah.

Yes.
Oh God, yes.

I made a claim that I was a troll to give someone closure. I wanted them to feel satisfied that they would know who their attacker was. I thought that if I could take that blame, they would just stop hurting each other.

And now they've become monsters. My heart feels as if it were ripped out from my chest and crushed in front of me. I feel like I've made a mistake, but I don't have the heart to tell them their own. I don't have the heart to make them feel like monsters..

Please, please, please forgive me for what I've done.

I can't stand see in you hurt by her and than tak about her with so much love in your eyes.

Why can't I be her? How I wish to be in her shoes an have you look at me the way you used to before her.