Creative Criticism wanted
 

i wanted to post a few of my poems and get a little feed back. Please dont say "its trash and its horrible" give me a little insight. pleases and thank you~!

~To be~

To be loved.
is there anything else like it?
is there any way to be insured it?
is there any way to live without it?

To be hated.
is there any way to ignore it?
is there any way to stop it?
is there any way to destroy it?

To be unknown.
is there any way to be revealed?
is there any way to make a seen?
is there any way to simply be?

To be famous.
is there any way to go back?
is there any way to denie it?
is there any way to hide it?

is there any way to simply be?





~The lost child~

She was the one that was beat down,
She was the one who was lied to,
She was the one no one cared for,

Whispers of lies,
Whispers of rumors,
Whispers of hatred,

No one is there,
No one cares,
No one needs you,

Your worthless,
Your nothing more then a waste of existence,
Your a freak,

They're wrong.

All you needed was a friend,
All you need is that one person to be there till the end,
All you need was that one person to talk to, to love,to be there,

Without that one person the girl was lost,
Without you think hate, think escape, think suicide,
Without you just keep praying for the end,

With that one person you are stronger then them,
With that one person the possibility are end less,
With that one person you can do almost anything for today, tomorrow, and forever,

So is it I who is the girl or is it you?
So is it I who is the friend or where you mine?
So will you be there for me just as I always will be for you?


~Hurt~

We've fallen apart
I've got a broken heart

why cant we go back to the start
before this long awaited depart

then you hurt me and i hurt you
the way i never wanted to

we used to be close we used to be friends
but all the changed with its end

we had some fun on this great run
but it has to be gone it has to be done

then you hurt me and i hurt you
the way i never wanted to

So i would cry, beg, and plea
in hopes that you would forgive me

I was wrong to believe in that
a false hope and thats a fact

then you hurt me and i hurt you
the way i never wanted to


~the dream~

Consumed by insanity
hearing nothing but profanity

crying alone at night
searching for a light

Trying to find the answer
feels like dieing of cancer

yet I am wrong
life still goes on

receiving gifts i shouldn't
tried to deny them but couldn't

to leave them in this place
would be such a disgrace

so someone take my hand
and lead me to another land

one without sin or sorrow
and would last longer then tomorrow

filled with people and happy faces
that know sweater graces

where you don't have to lie
to feel like you can fly

a place like that would be a steal
if only suck a place was real

so for now i dream
of this place unseen


~Let us fall back~

Let us fall back.
Into the places we used to be
into a time where sleep came peacefully
into a time where their was no drama
and their was no lies between us
we walked hand in hand
down this old road
where no one knows
just where it goes

Let us fall back.
To a time where it was to hard to look
Where we blushed when we spoke
this love was so hard to control
Yet it was so easy to trust
So easy to be together
so easy to be in love

Let us fall back.
Before this war
before the fight that divided us
before the lies and the drama
before we where separated
before this long awaited divide
before the hurt

Let us fall back.
Just once
just for a moment
just to remember
how it felt
when we where together
in love
for what should have been...
forever.

Let us fall back.

----------

~why do you not~

Why do you not answer my call,
Or try to catch me as I fall?

Why do you not call my name when I am near,
And make it seem as if you want me to disapear?

Why do you not look me in the eyes,
And try to put on a vage disguse?

Why do you never come near,
Though you call me your dear?

Was it something I did that wont let you be glad,
Or was it something I said that made you so mad?

Or did the whole thing fall through,
because of something I failed to do?

Is there something I can try,
So we can see eye to eye?

Please do not leave me here.
With everything so very unclear.