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Dealing with a parent's death...
My dad died July 10th, which sounds like so long ago but still feels like yesterday. He drowned in the river we were all swimming at, and I witnessed it along with my little brother. Needless to say, I haven't exactly felt the same about much since.
Why I'm posting here is.. I don't know. I need some tips on getting through this. It's been a month, and I've gone through my grief stage and it's becoming something like grief, depression, and anger now. I know there's like a bunch of stages, but that doesn't matter to me right now. I just need to know what I should do. I keep pretty busy, either spending time with friends or on the computer. I feel really unmotivated to do much else so I don't know... Anyway, I don't know. Anything is appreciated here, whether advice from people who've lost a parent or someone close to them or just words of encouragement... I just feel lost. Thanks in advanced. |
:hug:
I'm sorry, I wish I could help. But this sounds like something that you can't really understand unless you've experienced it. All I can say is that you should give it time. It hasn't even been a month yet, so don't try to quicken the grieving process. It's completely natural to feel lost and confused right now. If you try to stifle any of those emotions, you'll just end up feeling worse. Stay open and honest with your family about how you're feeling, talk with your little brother about it, and hopefully all of you can make it through this together. :heart: |
I'm really sorry for your loss. -snuggs-
My dad died a couple of years back so I went through what you're going through. A lot of people handle grief differently. In my case, I only cried a couple of times in the funeral and after that I didn't cry at all. Everyone in my family was grieving so I thought that someone needs to be their pillar for a while. I put on a smile everyday and adjusted to a lifestyle without my father. I went in to depression of course and I was lost in my thought most of the time causing me to screw up my schoolwork far too many times to count. But that's how I dealt with it and after a while, I was able to just accept it. You don't have to do what I did. No one's expecting you to get over your grief after such a traumatic event but remember to not take out your grief on your family (since they're grieving too) or other people (it feels good at first but after you realize what you've done, you'll feel horrible and it only adds more to your anger). Don't close yourself away from your family. Now is the time that you all need to stick together. Sometimes a hug goes a long way for both you and the person you're embracing. I know I feel better after a good hug from someone I care about. -huggles- I hope you feel better soon. |
Awh.. Well, I do agree with mod up there.. No one really knows what it feels like until they've experienced. First off, -hugs-. It's hard to get over your parent's death. Second, just think of it as part of life. Someone has to leave, and then someone comes to Earth. And, just think, since your dad died, I don't think he wanted you to be unhappy all the time right? He would want you to smile, and do what's best for you in life. Your dad will always be watching behind you, and look after you.. I'm really really sorry for your father's death.. You're probably thinking, "What did I do to deserve this?", or "Why did my father have to die now?". Well, it's fate.. and I hope you cope with it well. I send my condolences to you and your family. I hope you get over your griefness asap, and enjoy life to the fullest.
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Hey hun. *hugs* That is extremely tough, and I am very sorry for your loss. My suggestion to you is similar to that of the others - don't hold back your feelings, don't try to cover them up. Bottling things inside you and not accepting your grief will only give you problems later.
That being said, if you feel your emotions are out of control, and that you are having trouble functioning (it's good to see that you're still going out and being social, that's a geat idea), it couldn't hurt to see a counsellor if you have the resources to do so. I've gone through therapy before myself, and while not for the same reason, I can tell you that it really does help to have someone you can trust with everything, talk to them and reflect. |
My mother died almost 2 years ago. My freshman year in high school. Nothing is going to feel the same for a while. I was the one who saw my mother die, and there was nothing I could do. To be honest, you will become a new person. the way you look at things will mever be the same. When my mother was alive, I used to laugh when my friends argued with there parents, now I simply look at them and wonder how they can talk like that to them. The loss of a parent is deffinately hard at a young age, but there are many of us out there. Just remember to keep your chin up as high as you can. I know it feels like you cant right now, But you can. The pain will never go away, but it will lessen, and you will start to heal. Just let yourself make it through.
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all the advises are right, but it really depends on the person itself. Usually, introvert persons have less problems in accepting a parent's death, but if it was a loved someone, it'll be obviously hard. I know it's a cruel saying, but, for me, it is true: "Everyone dies, it's completelly natural". You won't find any confort in it, but it shall help you face the death of your father. My sister died when she jumped off a building, that has 18 floors, so i quite know how it is. It took almost 2 months for me to accept it, but I didn't cried at all. True, your life will change, you will have depression, will probably get easily hurted, but if you get yourself someone to love, or even something to distract you, you get healed faster. I suggest musical instruments, mainly classical ones (aka piano, flute, violin, and stuff like that) because the "bond" they make with you it's completely awesome, but guitars, bass and others might help.;)
-- wow, this got big..-- |
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