I'm torn apart on the inside.
 

The wonderful, doting boyfriend I had broke up with me. The reason? He said that "we had something special, but now he just doesn't feel anything for me anymore". He wants to think about himself "for once" and move on with his career without anyone. Aside from that, he still has strong feelings for his ex, feelings that overpowers his thoughts of me. I am destroyed. From the inside out because I feel like the entire year of our relationship was a lie. Everytime he held me and looked into my eyes, made me feel safe and loved- he'd tell me that he would love me always and that he will never leave me. He filled my head with promises of marriage, moving towards a future where we'd be together. He made me feel beautiful when I felt ugly. I mean...we were a team. Everyone thought so. We were the ideal couple, so why did he do this out of the blue? The day before, he was picking me up when I was weak from exercise, we were intimate the night before and we slept in each others arms. And then...a couple days later, he comes up with this? I'm so devastated- the very core of my being is shaken and crumbling. I haven't stopped crying, he knows I am and he doesn't care. He keeps saying he's sorry, that I'm important to him, that he cares for me- but if he did, why is he doing this to me? I gave up everything for him. He sounded so cold when he said it, it tore me apart. I feel like committing suicide. I can't live like this..he's been such a huge, important part of my life ever since I met him and now...I can't have him be a part of me. I can't go anywhere without seeing him somewhere. I had to delete my facebook because I can't get on without seeing some picture of him or something mentioning something of him. And my friend, the ex, says there's a possibility of her wanting to get back together with him. I swear, I told her, that if she did- I'd never talk to her again. And I mean it. She was there when it happened. She watched me sob and cry...so it'd be pretty heartless of her to do this to me. And he...I am just so hurt. I feel like dying.

I had a falling out after 10 years of being with someone. Sometimes people's emotions change over time and they no longer love one like they used to. It hurts now but it will get better. Keep your chin up. You'll meet someone else that will be better tan him.

Oh my goodness, Mystic. I'm sorry to hear that. I'll try....Thank you. v.v

@Knerd- I'll try not to die over it, though I'm just...so devastated. I just feel like when he says those things, it's only to make him seem less like a villain. Like he's patronizing me because the tone he uses isn't comforting in the least. >< I already, unfortunately, made it clear to him that I want to get together. I realize it might be a mistake, especially since he's been talking to my "friend", his ex. I really just might cut him out for good, but I am having a hard time even resisting the urge to call him. It's become such an ingrained habit since I've known him for so long..

At least he told you and broke up with you instead of dragging you along. Love and life have this tendency to hurt...

I have been doing that. :3 Alot of my friends, the good friends, have been really supportive and kind to me. And as for him, we sat down and talked. And...we both came to a rational conclusion. Sure, I get a pang of me missing him every once in a while, but I feel alot better now. He's still letting me keep the gifts he got me(because I pretty much threw it back in his face) and we're totally cool now. Sure, I'll have to make some life adjustments, but I'm not suffering like I was a couple days ago.