It's okay. By that, I mean I understand. I'm not one to speak of courage and such, but it's what you need to do. I guess, just take a few deep breaths, and go for it.

The way it is, he'll either drive you nuts, and you'll always be unhappy because this never ends, and he may or may not leave you. But, if you tell him, you could fix it, and possibly be happy together. Either way, you'll end up happy sooner or later by confronting him.

You know what I do when russ does that pissy crap, I first try to explain how he's taking something out on me that I have no control of and then try to gently remind him of whatever I had done to support him on it, but not in a naggy I told you so kinda way (which is really really hard) then if that does get the light bulb to go on over his head we hug and and make up and try to do solutions. But if he wants to be a child I just RIDE HIS ASS. Then when he bitches, I bitch right back and tell him I don't to be around a whiny failure. That'll check his ego into place, I don't like to do it, because I know it hurts his feeling but sometimes the more supportive I am it just makes him wallow more, he needs a kick to get going now and again. Generally it is then fallowed by me apologizing a million times and then moving on the the first step all over again, now that he'll listen. I don't know how much like Russ he is but that's what works for me.

lol Ely it's not actually to manly to be an on floor associate in the decor dept. I'll get to set up the displays and samples of stuff and make sure the price is displayed and such. Then after a while there is chance of me getting to be an interior designer three different ways:
1. Easiest way would to become a Resident Designer, which means if people had trouble choosing between stuff, or if you doing some big custom thing like a whole new kitchen or something, you could come to me and I could help you decide. Up to going out to peoples homes and job sites to do est and such
2. I could become a contracted designer through them which would basically be the same thing only instead of being on home depot salary they would be more like an agent and I could get paid via the customers for each job
3. I could meet OTHER designers when they come in and make new collugees that way and go from there. It would be amazing to eventually get a salaried job at a firm but, one step at a time XD

It's still a Home Depot. :ninja: :lol: ;) BUT, what you're talking about is awesome. Do you guys have Lowe's up there? You could try there if Home Depot fails, and they exist in Oregon.

I'm tired of the arguments, I'm tired of feeling like this. I just want peace and us getting along and making up.

Then you know what to do, Ser. :)

....*in background from youtube tab* Nadya Suleman (the octomom lady) is filming a porn video.........>.o Kay. :lol: That was a weird thing to tune into.

I just hope me saying something or anything at all doesn't backfire. I love him and want us to make up. I hate arguing with him. I hate how we keep getting like this. I hope tomorrow will be better.

I'm just going to head to bed. I'm surprised I'm still up. I was contemplating bed at 11. It's now almost 2. night. Hope tomorrow is a better day. It better be.

Arguing sucks, if you guys do it to often I would start to question if it's worth it, life to short to be around sucky people. Good luck tomorrow.

Loews does but it's FAR, Everything else I can bus to pretty easily, and most I could probably even walk with in an hour or so worst case scenario. So yeah Target HAS something called "Presentation and pricing" Which is also just setting up displays but they aren't really hiring for THAT and I would have to start at the returns desk sooo meh, but any of that would be better then Mr. Daniel so whatever

Today was decent at work. Was register most of the day and after break did headset (took orders on drive-thru)

As for the thing with Mike. It happens a lot now because he keeps trying to quit smoking and doesn't succeed, he's dealing with realising that he doesn't have much of a chance at going to Law School. Well he does, but not easily.
That and we haven't been able to see each other a lot since I started working. So, today I gave him an idea when we were on the phone during my break- We should pick a day during the week, go to work and tell them we need this day off every week. And that would be our date day/night that would be just for us. Which he said would be ok. He seemed to like the idea, plus I told him the first week, I'll treat us to a date.
We just need to come up with a day. ^^"

Plus, it seems he's still a little upset. But, not so much where he won't tell me he loves me and hug me. Which he told me he loved me when we hung up on the phone, and then when we said good night tonight and hugged and kissed me. He gave me attention like he normally does. Just not a whole lot. But, it seems normal. I know I should say something to him. But, I would rather let this blow over right now and then tell him when we have a conversation sometime about it all.

You know what's best for you two, we don't. I hate to give advice in couple situations because I know ya'll know what's best for yourselves.

Mostly I just chime in when emotional or physical abuse is going down.

Thanks.
Oh I know. I feel bad venting so much so often. I know of things I need to do. He knows what he has to do. We admit our faults.

Oh he knows I'll kick his ass to the curb if he hurts me physically. It's also just not in him to inflict harm like that.
Though I know there are those moments where he is a jerk emotionally. -.-

long day was long. Though looking forward to the next few days. I actually am at the point I look forward to going into work. I know what I'm doing for Mother's day now. I'm ordering a pizza for dinner for mom and I. She hasn't had pizza in awhile so that's my thing. That and she's getting a card and maybe a flower or something from the grocery store.

Yeah, it's just that he's been kinda emotionally abusive lately. He's like...a five out of ten? the last few times stuff has been going down. It can be way worse, as you know. Anyway, that's why I kinda give you some advice when you come in and vent.

Don't feel bad venting, though. You'd blow up if you didn't.

I'm going in for a violin lesson tomorrow, then going to see The Avengers because it's been getting such great reviews.

My life's pretty crazy right now. I'm trying so damned hard to move forward, but the fact is that two people in my family are dying right now. *shrugs* It's difficult to know what to do...

I hear those electric cigs work really well

I actually like the smell of the vanilla ones at work, no cig smell or taste at all, just like vanillaish cupcakes XD It's water vapor and nic so it's still not like quitting completely but it is a step in the right direction.

*hugs Ely* Try not to worry to much about what you can change and focus your mind on what you can.
Isn't that off an inspirational poster somewhere?


sorry for the quick pop in I'm supposed to be cleaning

Yeah, he has been and I know part of why he is. Thankfully for me he's not horrible. He can get bad, but, he'd never hurt me physically and he at least knows why he acts the way he does. Like last night, I'm sure he thought of it this morning and remembered that he does get really pissy when he's trying to quit smoking and then fails at it. So, that could be why he was acting normal with me today and didn't treat me coldly. I know I do need to take initiative with some things like making decisions and some other things which I am working on still. I just hope he knows what he needs to do. If not, I'd make sure he does know. Which I do try to let him know when he says, does, doesn't say/do things that bother me. I do let him know.

Yeah, he has that problem he doesn't vent too much and he pushes it down and blows up. ^^"

Oh nice! We finally watched Thor on Tuesday. :drool: mmmm Thor
We're planning on borrowing a couple of the other movies from his brother (I just want to see the Iron Man movies and Captain America). Once we watch those, I'll want to go to see The Avengers ^^ The same brother went and saw it opening night, he said he was so excited from it, that he couldn't sleep that night (good thing for him this was before they put them back on 40hr work week at his work).

Yeah, I know what you mean by that. It's gotta be hard to deal with stuff right now with things going the way they are, but it'll get better soon.
I had a moment last night where I started to fear people in my life dying. A friend of mine's dad died yesterday suddenly of a heart attack. His dad was only around mine's age (which is in the mid-late 50s)

I'm gonna head to bed ^^" It's late. I'll be on tomorrow. Have fun tomorrow at your lesson and seeing the movie ^^ Night.

I wish my mom would give those things a try...or something. Cigarettes are such horrible things.

I'm sure it is on a poster somewhere. :lol: And thanks. :hug:s I'm trying, and mostly succeeding. Just gotta keep breathing, and trying hard.

Honestly I have a friend that just switched to those and I'm thinking I like them, I've only taken a puff because I was amazed at the non vomit inducing smell and was pleasantly surprised by the taste. I looked online and saw that they sold some that had zero nicotine and only flavor and water vapor O.o I honestly started think about getting one as a fashion accessory/ vanilla candy stick for a few seconds before I came to my senses XD Still though the envious looks she gets in the bar are to die for.

You'll want to see The Hulk, too, if you're aiming to see The Avengers. Even though they recast the role. :)

That's a man thing, unfortunately. Of course some women do it, but it's like an inbred man thing to not vent.

It's mostly hard because I just don't know when the world's going to blow up...I just know it's going to. It's hard to plan shit around that. Of course I'm going to be devastated that my grandmother's gone, but...it's like...ya gotta try and plan for it and you can't because there's no way to do so.

I've been telling my mom for months now that if she doesn't stop smoking she'll be next. She just won't stop. It's terrifying, I agree.

@Birdie: Lol, no no. Cigarettes of any sort aren't fashion accessories, they're cancer accessories. :yes:

Not a huge hulk fan ^^" But, if need be I can force myself to watch it.

Yeah, he was talking about getting e-cigarettes but is lazy and hasn't yet. -.- He's worse than me. He sits there, says he'll do something if he isn't able to do another, but doesn't anyway. I'll be sure to mention something to him about that when we talk about him and quitting.

My dad has already laid into mom about her smoking and the whole thing of how it'll hurt my brother and I to see her getting some illness from it.

I'm not the biggest Hulk fan, either. I've just happened to watch it a couple times lately because it's been on TV non stop since the Avengers started getting hyped up.

Cigs are hard to get off of, especially when you're kinda depressed, which it sounds like he might be dealing with that. I wouldn't be surprised, mainly because he has psoriasis. Psoriasis and depression go hand in hand, I would know. >.>

Yeah, everyone in my family has laid into my mom about it. I just don't even want to imagine her being incapacitated for a year or two while she's dying of the lung cancer she swears that she won't get. OR, she says she'll get it, and people will be happy because she's gone and/or is suffering.

My brothers been smoking sense he was in middle school. Its a really bad habit and my Grandpa Wilton was a chain smoker and he ended up on oxygen. My brother does the same thing and he is already having breathing problems.

Mike's been smoking since he was around 13-14. So yeah... Over 10-11 years.

Aaaaannnd now he seems like he's in a pissy mood to me now.

About time for him to stop, then. He's going to need to develop better coping mechanisms, though, because I somehow doubt he has any if he's been smoking that long.

My grandmother died today. /brings down the mood.

Yeah pretty much. It's annoying the way he is at times. I just hope tomorrow he's still good with me and not all pissy and anti-social.

:hug: Oh no. I'm sorry. My condolences to you and your family. :(

Is he still trying to stop smoking?

Thanks. :hug: *curls up in ball and sits* It'll be okay...it's just going to take a little while to process. It's pretty much like losing a mother.

I dunno, he's probably still pissy from Wednesday's disagreement. Though I dunno. he didn't seem it yesterday over the phone or last night when we hung out.
He probably just is still kind of in a weird mood from it and everything else that has been bothering him lately.

Yeah, I remember you mentioning how close you were to her when you were younger. Take as long as you need