At least he's not acting too badly. Still kinda emo is all, sounds like.

Yeah, I didn't really have that much of a relationship with my mom or dad when I was young because of how much they worked. Now, I have a decent relationship with my dad, but still have iffy periods with my mother. Anyway, yeah, it's like losing a mom instead of a grandmother.

He's acting worse now it seems. I mentioned something about treating him to dinner or lunch one of these days soon. All I got was "whatever" for a response at one point.
Oh well. -.-

I hope he is better tomorrow or later. I just realised I never asked him how his day was today. He told me he'd be right back. I think he's a bit pissed at me for that now. :( He never asked me how my day was. I asked how he was doing when I got online. He told me. I don't remember him asking how I was. He never asked how my day was. I didn't either. I told him how my day was hoping he'd just tell me. I feel bad I never asked him. Ugh. More shit to think of.

I'm sorry I'm venting about this stuff and you're going through this hard time now. :( :hug: I'm glad you have a decent relationship with your dad. Yeah I can see that after what you've told me before. Again, my condolences to you.
I guess this must be a hard time for a lot of people I care about. Mike's the way he is, my friend's dad sudden death, and your grandmother. :/ I hope her passing to the other side was peaceful.

Awh, well, I'm not going to be great for advice right now. I get really blunt when I'm not emotionally right. It's okay, though. I can at least listen to you.

*shrugs* It's just douchebaggery. He needs to get a handle on himself--my best suggestion is that you have that talk you were mentioning yesterday, and have it sooner than later. Fix it, ya know?

Yeah, bad stuff tends to boil over and all happen at once, I guess. Always has in my life, anyway. My uncle is also very close to dying of cancer...which has spread through his whole body and he just got the diagnosis for in, I think, February...or March. One of those two.

My mum might have to deal with that one herself. I need to get myself in order. I just don't know anymore.

But, yes, my grandma passed peacefully. She apparently told the nurse yesterday that it would be better if she weren't here anymore. She ate a little this morning, and then went to sleep, and never woke up. May the angels carry her gently to heaven.

Thanks Kita, and to Saro, too. :yes: The sympathy is very much appreciated.

Well, I feel like hell. Of course I'd like this all to be a very bad dream, but it's not, and the fact is that she was very, very, very old helps a very little bit. It doesn't make it hurt any less, or soften the blow much at all, but she's in a better place. I'm just doing my best. I'll be okay, and I'm not going to throw myself off of a cliff, or anything, but it still hurts.

It's really just a beginning of a new life.

Hopefully one of these days we'll all have good days and things will go well for us.

Yeah, we all will.

I mean...this is really shallow and shit, but a very minuscule and meaningless thing that came out of this is that I'm pretty damned sure I'm going to be able to pay off my car with my inheritance.

Thanks, Kita. She was definitely a mother-like person to me, very much so. I don't think we can ever get over these types of things, or stop missing them.

I'll probably take my laptop with me, or something so I can come on and get away from this stuff.

---------- Post added 05-11-2012 at 11:35 PM ----------

Also, I happened across your "letters you can't send" post, and lmao when I read about your traffic troubles. Denver's traffic is wonderful, ain't it?

Not to sound bad or anything, but is this the week of many bad things happening?

Eh. Life was okay for me till today.

Did something else happen, Ser?

Yeah, it got worse.
I apparently still have no initiative in the relationship and will supposedly wait till the last minute to ask what's wrong. That it's not enough that I asked because I waited till later, that he demands that I had asked earlier if he was still upset from wednesday, not as late as I did.

He signed off just saying "heading to bed GOOD NIGHT"

*shakes head*

You need to sit down and have a face to face serious conversation about this, Ser. This isn't something you should be putting up with.

We see each other tomorrow for gaming. He's picking me up from work at 7p.
I plan on having a conversation with him tomorrow. Though I'm scared of how he'll be with me tomorrow and what he'll say. Especially the fear he'll no longer want me, etc.

Sounds like everyone is having a bad day?
I'm sorry everyone
*BIG GROUP HUG*

how come it says everyone is a online when I know that it's to late for that to be true

@Ser: You can't stay afraid of that forever, hon. Be brave, or nothing will ever get better.

@Birdie: I can't sleep.

Stay up and talk to ME then
vent or cry or change the subject and not try to think about it,
whatever you want


@Ser, a lady should never worry about a man wanting HER we are in far to great a demand.

Thanks. :) *hugs and plops down next to her feet*

I'm just really sad. It's hard knowing somebody is just gone. Not much warning, and no chance to say goodbye. Everything just kinda hits you at once, and you realize you'll never hear their voice again, etc. This is just when you start questioning stuff, and hoping to God that there's something else. If not for yourself...for them. (My grandma died, if you didn't read that far back)

---------- Post added 05-12-2012 at 01:58 AM ----------

Also, this totally doesn't help anything, but by the time we are 21, women far outnumber men. :ninja: :lol: Damn them for liking to jump off of roofs and shit like that.

I did, :hug: I'm sorry
but didn't you also say that she was getting pretty old? I know my grandparents are getting up there, I call them at lest once a week to tell them I love them cuse I'm pretty sure it's close. I bet I won't get a chance to to tell them an official goodbye but I think they care more about me loving then saying woeful fair wells. I know they don't want me to be sad over something I can't change and I doubt she would feel any different.
When was the last time you had got to talk to her?

Also try to take comfort in some strange words from an atheist: Even if there isn't anything think of the good side of nothing: No pain, No hunger, No NEED. There being nothing, truly nothing with no consciousnesses is the most free you can be, no suffering or even boredom. Sounds pretty similar to the description of heaven any way right? So even worst case scenario it's still better then here! Not that it says much for our avg 45 sentence left but hey, its a new way to look at things? I'm not the best at being a comfort, but you do know this for a fact she's not hurting and she wouldn't want you to be.

Yeah, and that's why I'm not in worse shape. I've known it was coming for months--since February. Had a feeling before that. The last time I got to talk to her was in a family conference call, and she was ragging on me a little bit, so I was annoyed. I just said bye, and didn't really get a chance to say much at all anyway. That was on Easter.

I told her every time before that that I loved her, though. She knew. I know that. It just doesn't make it any easier.

You'll always want that last hug and that last farewell no matter how hard you try, I guess.

Yeah. Lol. We were driving to downtown down I-25 and people were being incredibly idiotic. I got a little scared with the nut in the black SUV. Luckily that was right before (what we were told) was our exit. :roll:

I truly hope things work out for the best for you, Ser. :hug:

Well at lest you were prepared, it's true no of us will last forever. You will unless they are suffering for a long time, and then you have to see them suffering, and in the end that worse. It's so hard to see them in pain, sounds like it was sudden, was it in her sleep or something painless at lest?

*catches a kita* I THOUGHT I saw you posting in here

@Kita: Mhhmmmmm. Denver is sooo weird. All the f'ed up one way roads, and then I-25. o.o Sorry it seems like I stalked you into that thread. XD After I read the first sentence, I was having a black girl "speak the gospel" moment. XD

@Birdie: Yeah. It's not really a comforting thought, but sometimes that logic is nice.

Are you guys talking about the mousetrap going in to denver? MAN that thing sucked for like the first four years driving it. WE have on in portland to though it is OVER THE RIVER! Who the hell decided to build 5 joining highways over the river I do not know but it is scary O.O
Night Kita


Sorry like I said I'm not the best at comfort, someone dying hurts no matter what you just have to try to distract yourself away from the pain until it's not as fresh and easier to deal with? It's gotta suck know all the pysch stuff that you should be able to use to rationalize or comfort yourself, but you can never do those things on yourself