Sheldon jumped back from Penny's general space, to slightly over the three foot distance necessary to create a safe zone of containment around her illness. Sheldon took in her reddened nose and general sickly appearance. "Thank you for your concern for my health." Sheldon responded in a voice muffled by the sleeve forced against his face. "In the future, such sentiments can be expressed through the phone." Sheldon continued to back track until his heels bumped into his own apartment door. "I will procure my own means of transportation today, feel better Penny!" He half shouted over his shoulder as he unlocked the door and entered his apartment to disinfect himself.

Looks like today would be a bus pants day.

((Love the reference to last week's episode! <3))

---

Penny just watched as Sheldon made his dramatic escape back into the sanctuary of his apartment. Rolling her eyes as she retreated back into her own, she was somewhat surprised, yet relieved, that he fell for her little lie. She supposed his fear of contamination outweighed a certain level of logic, even for him.

Making her way back over to the kitchen, she was just about to retrieve her coffee mug when the sound of her phone interrupted the peace once again.

"You can't be serious—" Penny growled as she stomped over to her phone, picked it up, and bashed the answer button.

"Sheldon! I told you I'm sick, now leave me alone!"

She was milliseconds away from hanging up when a soft voice that wasn't Sheldon's came through from the other line.

"Hi, Penny... I'm sorry, is this a bad time?"

Bernadette.

"Oh! No, no, I'm sorry sweetie, I thought you were Sheldon... he's just been bugging me all yesterday and today, so I finally had to fake being sick in order to get him off my back," Penny explained. "I didn't mean to take it out on you."

"Oh, no worries," Bernadette assured her. "I was just calling to see if you were busy today and maybe wanted to take up my shift at the Cheesecake Factory? Howard says one of his balls is itchy and wants me to take him to the doctor instead of his mother."

Where Bernadette was casually open, Penny was gagging on her own tongue. "Details, Bernadette..." Raising a hand to her forehead, Penny groaned. She really did not need a mental image of Howard's... well, anything. "I'll take your shift, but, in the future, please... keep that kind of information to yourself. I've just faked being sick, I don't need to actually be sick."

"I'm sorry..." Bernadette apologized. "Thanks so much for agreeing to take it on such short notice, though."

"It's no problem, sweetie. What time does your shift start?" Penny asked.

"Ten minutes."

"TEN MINUTES?!" Penny yelled, nearly dropping the phone.

"I'm sorry, Howard had only just called, and said it was an emergency, so I didn't have much time."

Already on her way into her bedroom to start throwing on her uniform, Penny didn't plan on wasting any of that time. "Ugh, it's fine. Isn't there something in our contract somewhere that says we can't be fired under emergency shift changes... or something?" Penny asked, unsure, while in the midst of pulling her skirt up with one hand.

"Sorry, Penny, I'm not sure," Bernadette admitted sincerely. "But I should really get going now, Howard is waiting for me."

"Alright—Tell that horny nerd he owes me one!" Penny said, stopping whatever she was doing just to make that very clear.

"Thanks again, Penny!" And a click later, Bernadette was gone.

Penny spent the next three minutes scrambling to get the rest of her uniform on and tossing her unwashed hair up into the messiest ponytail ever. Once ready in the most unready way possible, she quickly grabbed her bag and made a mad dash out of her apartment.

Sheldon was already nearly running late when he was rebuffed by the biological hazard that was his neighbor. As such Dr. Cooper was as close to frazzled as he got. Which consisted of Sheldon gawkily running to his room to remove his bus pants from their sealed package in his emergency wardrobe and slipping them on over his work pants. Two layers of khaki pants led to a great deal of snugness around the thighs, but Sheldon couldn't concern himself with that at the moment.

He loped back into the living room and referenced the quick guide to loathsome public transportation that he had created for just such an emergency. Seeing that the bus stop nearest him would be accepting passengers in less than ten minutes, Sheldon threw his messenger bag over his shoulder and rushed to the door, only stopping to grab his keys out of the key dish and close and lock the door behind him.

The sound of a door opening and then closing, followed by the tinkering of keys, brought Penny to a halt halfway down the flight of stairs. She had been so busy rushing to leave her apartment that she completely overlooked how her previous interaction a mere few minutes ago would result in another individual also rushing to leave their apartment. A fleeting second gave her hope that it was Leonard leaving the apartment rather than a certain other, but that was before realization hit her that Leonard was still in recovery. So, unless pigs learned to fly and it was Amy fleeing after an effervescent night with Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Penny be damned that it was said Doctor himself.

And a very quick peek over her shoulder revealed her misfortune. Her legs reacted faster than her mind, as the instant sight of him had her trampling down the staircase like a disoriented hippo without a moment's consideration.