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Stupid jokes... that are hilarious. PLEASE PUT ALL JOKES IN QUOTE TAGS!
Have you ever heard a really dumb joke, that made you laugh for like hours for some reason? I have. I like them. Here's one.
What did the youtuber say when he came in third in a race? First!! lol. I like dumb jokes. Post yours below. NOTHING DIRTY! |
What Has Hundreds Of Ears, But Can't Hear?
:] ... ... ... ... A Nursing Home :D |
Lol. Those are good.
I've heard this one, I laughed so hard... 1:That snail is so slow 2: Ya... but not as slow as Grandma 1: Grandma aint slow.... 2: She is when she is shopping 1: True... 2: *Looks at Grandma in the same spot she was shopping a few minutes ago* 1&2: *Lol.* |
Knock Knock
Who's There? Dyslexic Cow Dyxlexic Cow Who? OOM! :D |
I like stupid, nonsensical jokes too... here's one:::
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee". The husband said, " You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, " I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says: "HEBREWS" |
A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead rob a bank
they are running from the cops when they turn into an alleyway. The Brunette hides behind the dumpster the Redhead hides behind a pile of crates and the Blonde hides in an empty potato sack The cops arrive and start looking They move towards the dumpster, but the Brunette says 'woof woof', so the bald cop says to his partner 'oh it's just a dog, leave it' they keep moving and stop by the crates, but the redhead says 'meow, meow' so the bald cop says to his partner 'oh it's just a cat, leave it' and as they near the potato sack the blonde says 'potato potato' and addition to the joke includes The blonde cop turned to the bald cop and said 'oh it's just a potato, leave it'. |
kid: Dad what do women want
dad: well son, women want security kid: are you sure? dad: yes, because every time I go to the bar and I approach a woman she says 'security' |
I like the one where it says, why did the chicken cross the park?
To get to the other slide! AH HAHAHAHAHHAAH!!! Silly and dumb, yes. |
blond joke
A Blondes house was on fire,
she went to her friends house to call the fire station, fireman picks up, blonde says "HELP ME HELP ME MY HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!" man says "ok ok come down and tell me, how do we get there?!" blonde "like DUH the BIg red truck!!" *lol* |
I always like the "A horse walks into a bar" joke. As dumb as it is it still makes me smile.
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A drum and a symbol fall off a cliff, BA DUNSSS.
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I got another one!! =3
Knock Knock Who's there? Tad! Tad who? Tad's all folks! _______________________________ Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man." |
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says to the other, "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" The other replies, "Ahh!! It's a talking muffin!" xDD I love that joke, and I really don't know why. It doesn't even make sense...if the muffin was afraid of talking muffins, why was it talking? I guess you just can't put too much thought into these kinda jokes. Ah well. I'm going to have to remember this thread for when I'm having a bad day. Reading through all of these would cheer anybody up! |
I laughed pretty hard at this. It's so stupid and yet not, but it's very funny.
XD I like a lot of visual jokes. |
How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
... ... ... ... Fish. That joke is usually funny, even to people who don't know what an existentialist is. ...also it encourages people to look that up. |
There’s two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says ‘You man the guns, I’ll drive."
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Stallion: I love it :XD Also, I love MST3K.
How does a dinosaur get out of a pool? Wet. |
lol. I'm so loving this thread. :)
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*Knock Knock*
Who's there? Banana Banana who? *Knock Knock* Who's there? Banana Banana who? *Knock knock* Who's there? Banana Banana who? *knock knock* Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orangacha (Arentcha) glad I didn't say banana? Another one that doesn't make sense, but I lol every time |
I've got two great ones
1: A baby seal walks into a club. 2: Jesus walks into a hotel. He go's up to the front desk, lays out some nails in front of the desk clerk, and says "Hey man, can you put me up for the night?" |
This is more for gamers but.........
What makes a role playing gamer sqee for 25 minutes then roll on the floor.......... A sephiroth figurine :3 But yeah your jokes are role on the floor funny ^w^ |
three girls are trapped on an island. each one gets one wish. The blonde wishes to10% smarter and turns into a redhead and swims of the island. The redhead wished to be 25% smarter and turned into a brunette and built a boat and sailed of the island. The brunette wished to be 50% smarter, turned into a man and walked on to the bridge to the gift shop. Isn't that so rude?
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I'm a fan of the anti-joke myself. A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim. and also: A kid spends a year or so doing sit-ups, but he has bad form. His form is so bad, that only the right side of his stomach is being worked out. So now, whenever he takes his shirt off in front of a group of people, everyone notices that the right side of his stomach features well defined abdominal muscles, while the left side is relatively flabby. The question is, do his friends call him "righty" because of the niceness of his right side, or "lefty" because of his relatively unflattering left side? The answer is neither. They continue to call him tree-head because he has a 10 foot tree growing from his skull. |
^oh my god, the second one is amazing xDD
Umm, I know this one, which is actually a bunch of seemingly-unrelated-but-actually-related trick-question like jokes... and it's not actually funny, it just serves to piss people off xD it's pretty known around here, dunno if they have it in other countries? anyway, so you ask the question, wait for the person to awnser, and then tell them the right anwser... it's like this: Question: How do you pass an elephant under the door? Awnser: You put him inside an envelope first. Q: How do you stop an elephant from passing under the door? A: You tie a knot with their tail. Q: How do you put an elephant in the fridge? A: You open the door, put the elephant inside, and then close the door. Q: How do you put a giraffe inside the fridge? -person will probably answer "open the door, put the giraffe inside and close the door" , because they just heard what you said about the elephant. but the correct awnser is: A: You open the door, get the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and then close the door. Q: There's a party in the animal kingdom and everyone is going. Who's the only animal that doesn't go? A: The giraffe, cause she's still inside the fridge. Q: You want to cross a river which is inhabited by tons of alligators. How do you cross? A: You can just cross normally without a worry - the alligators are at the party. anyway, like I said, the sole purpose of these jokes is to annoy xD |
^ Brilliant.
I must use this once in my life. xD I've never heard it before, but it's great. And I love to annoy people. |
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