Online Dating: Foolish Endeavor or Another Path to Love?
 

Basically, do you think online or long distance dating is an "acceptable" form of dating, or is it silly/stupid?

I personally think it can be a great way to meet people you might not normally get to meet. I also have done a little of it here or there, even having a "dating" profile on one of those hip dating sites. XD Though I use it for friend making, not dating these days as I'm happily taken.

I do admit though at times it can be dangerous, because you never know who someone really is...But as long as you take precautions (meet in public places, have your phone with you at all times, ect), I think most people will come out fine.

But in general, I think it's wonderful. Though, I'm not sure I think how everyone goes about it is the "right" way, like basing if they're going to talk to someone based simply on match scores...I think love and compatibility is more than just a percentage. xD You know?
But I also respect that everyone should go about it how they want, and if they want those numbers to mean everything, then sure. xDD

I think if you don't do anything stupid you're not really in any more danger than you would be with people you met otherwise.
Also, I know plenty of people who met online, and it's great. In a lot of situations it's nigh impossible to meet many new people, and the internet offers people.

I just don't like people that date online but don't meet in real life. That's just weird to me.

As long as you are careful then I don't see why not.

Speaking on a personal level I don't trust anyone I haven't met and spent an amount of time with so I wouldn't do it. But that's just me, I have to know someone very well before I date them and I don't feel that the internet is the best place to form relationships.

I'm not to fond of the idea, but at the same time, I am super cautious about things, and have a major fear of accidently hooking up with some super evil criminal who now has my information and is going to eat me......
But seriously, I just wouldn't want something to happen. I don't exactly trust everybody online :ninja:
I like making friends online, but nothing past that. Maybe someday I won't be such a scaredy cat........

I feel it's no different from dating someone in person. Despite what some people may say, it being done over a distance does not make the other person any more likely to be a liar. It's especially great for those who have no one worth talking to (much less dating) in their area--or just haven't had the means to find any. One of my biggest peeves is people who bash online dating.

I too have made an interent dating profile to meet new friends. My mom and step dad met on Utopia and will be celibrating their 10th an. this may. I think as long as you're careful and take things slow think it's a good thing. :)

It's entirely possible, as long as you are careful and cautious. Be sure you're talking to who you believe you are taking to, and take things carefully. My girlfriend and I met on Gaia, and we've been together for two and a half years. First we roleplayed together, then we shared IM's and talked every day for a couple months. I wondered how she felt about online dating, and long distance relationships. We talked about it, and decided it could work.

So we started seeing each other over the webcam, so we knew it was really each other on the other end. Eventually we swapped phone numbers, and started calling each other all the time. Before we knew it, it was serious. We scheduled to meet face to face (which became complicated due to me being in a car accident two days before we were supposed to meet. Still, I could tell SHE took this just as serious as I did...considering she flew half a country to me, while I was in the hospital to surprise me).

We've seen each other face to face three times, for a total of about three weeks together. It's not a lot of time, for two and a half years. But MSN and the internet is still a means of communication. Plus, we text each other about every minute of every day and call each other just as often :lol:

It's important to be careful, and to take precautions. Meet in public for the first time, perhaps take along a friend and encourage the other too as well, just to be safe. Trust is a HUGE part of online dating and long distance relationships.

I think it's great that everyone is so mindful about being careful when meeting people from online dating sites! It's good to see people take care of themselves like that. But, to be perfectly honest, it seems strange to me to say "well, be careful, because you never really know who people are online!" Do you really know anyone you've recently met, even if you met them in person? Is meeting at a bar, or a concert, or at work, really any safer? It's not as if someone can't lie to you if you talk to them face to face.

Overall I think online dating is absolutely fine. I do think it's a good idea not to get too close right away though. It's pretty easy to hide the fact that you may already have a significant other, or wife/husband.

I can't say I agree with you about it being the same as being with someone in person. It's not at all for me.

for me a level of intimacy is very important. I can't really interact with someone over the internet the same way I can face to face. I gather a lot of information by examining a person's body language and hearing their tone of voice when they speak, eye contact is a big thing for me. I need to hear their voice and watch them move or I don't feel any attachment. Words alone are not enough for me to really know a person. I like to observe habits and mannerisms which I can't do if I'm not physically around them.

It's also easier for me to tell if someone's lying if I can get them to make eye contact or just watch their subtle facial tics or gestures. I can't read you if you're not in front of me.

Been there and done that. I won't be doing it again soon, if ever again.

I think that online dating can be a good thing. It forces you to learn more about the person than you probably ever would in a face-to-face relationship, and when I accidentally stumbled into it I found myself in a love stronger than I'd imagined possible in the real world. My issue is, especially if the online relationship is also a long distance relationship, when you meet the person for the first time it is...extremely awkward...at least in my experience. You have developed a large amount of mental intimacy, as I like to say, and you think that you've developed physical intimacy...but you haven't...and even if you've been dating for several months online, when you meet them in person it's just like starting from stage one all over again. You end up putting so much into a relationship that could fail instantly, depending on the situation.

I think, however, so long as you put in the effort to meet the person as soon as possible, an online relationship can turn out well for you. An online relationship that is also long distance will always equal bad to me. It just ends up being more stressful for both parties than it does equal good.

Also, I believe that online dating is a way of hiding. Our world is now so anti-social that actually having a conversation with somebody you've just met in real life is nearly impossible. I wish the world would move backwards, remove a few of the technological advances, and force people to interact over something other than facebook and texting again.

I am, however, biased, due to my own bad personal experience, so take my statements with a grain of salt, I suppose.

I find there to be nothing wrong with dating someone over the internet. It's a great way to get to know other people, and two of my friends actually do it.

However, I would never online date myself. You can label me as needy, but I would go insane not being able to feel my partner's arms wrapped around me or their lips on my own. I want to be able to be comforted by their touch, basically.

Plus, with online dating you can never really know if your partner is being faithful to you. Not to mention that people act slightly different online than they do in real life, interacting with people face to face.

You hit the nail on the head, and you're definitely not being needy. Is not the purpose of being in a relationship to have somebody to lean on both mentally and physically? As I said before, when you put the long distance aspect into an online relationship, it becomes so much more stressful. You never know if they're cheating on you...and you never know when they're going to up and break up with you out of the blue, because you don't have that every day contact. You don't even know how much/long they intend to stay with you...since there really are no signs. It sucks.

I never thought I'd understand why people cheat. Having gone through an online relationship, I now know why some people do. (not that I'd ever do it)

There are far worse things than online dating, etc. But I definitely do not recommend it.

I'm not talking about personal reactions to being face-to-face or not; I'm talking about it being the same on all the most basic levels. You meet a person, you talk to that person and get to know him, you develop a bond and a relationship grows. You can be lied to in person just as well as online and not everyone is an obvious liar. People get the false impression that online dating must ultimately result in being cheated on or lied to, but how you choose to interact isn't going to make a difference on that. Of course there are differences, but not enough that dating online or not should ever be anything but a personal preference.

The thing is that it is much easier to be "different" online. Not necessarily through trying or through blatantly lying, but people tend to represent themselves differently online. Even through webcam. I've met people over the internet in person, and some of them have been uber bubbly outgoing people over msn, and then turn out to be dull shy people who can't say a word without blushing.

All I'm saying is "be careful." People don't always have the intention of acting different.

As per the false impression about online dating leading to cheating, etc...It isn't exactly a false impression. I'm not saying that it happens every time, nor am I saying that it happens often, I'm just saying that having a long distance relationship with somebody you meet online promotes cheating because of the loneliness that it can often cause.

I would argue that this assertion of yours, possibly unintentionally so, misconstrues the situation. Yes, I would agree a fair amount of people portray themselves differently online. Although I would argue this comes from the fact that people portray themselves based on the social context. Indeed it is a highly common feature of culture that as actors move between different environments they adjust their performance accordingly. For instance if one was to meet me at a pool table there would be rather contrasting differences in my behaviour and expressed personality than if they were to meet me at a mall, library or home.

I need physical interaction with the person I love. I could never do an online relationship nor do I do a long distance one either. I guess they can work for some people but I tend to think that if an online relationship does not become a long distance one then it is pointless. [/CENTER]

Indeed. But, to an extent, this just proved my point. Because of the different situation people's personalities are construed. Online dating isn't bad, it should just be made clear that people that you meet online are not going to be just what you thought they'd be.

As long as you don't go into the situation of online dating expecting people to be what you thought they were, it is possible to thrive in a relationship built over the internet.

Dating sites- yea or nae?
 

I hadn't thought about it in awhile so I thought I'd go see how things were going with my profile on one of the sites I joined a long while back.

I actually met the on-again off-again dude I know now thru it. I wouldn't say we're 'dating' per se; he moved 8 hours away and over the border; I haven't renewed my passport so theoretically we're broke up as I can't make the journey right now.

I know this is a PG-13 site so I'll just say I picked a site that is VERY specific what one likes and doesn't like; I think it's important to get that out there so I filled out all the details. All the same I've noticed even with that kind of 'not into this, won't do that' detail you still get losers who decide it's all tl;dr and contact you asking for stuff that isn't at all interesting.

What do you all think? Are dating sites worthwhile, or too scary? Me, my town is too small and too full of provincial attitudes for me to actually do the club scene without attracting unwanted types, so when I AM in the mood to meet someone new, it kinda has to be this way. :(

As In My Opinion
 

:feesh: I should wack anyone who thinks that online dating is a total bad thing. I'm not saying that it's a good thing because I do it all of my life. That would be a waste of my life. :( Online dating is great for meeting someone, but dating them has no future because you're not with them. Forget all that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" crap. I know most of you are like :shock::shock::shock: over this, but it's just not true. Sure when you're first intoxicated, you think it's true, but not when you get older. Absence of your partner can make you lose morals enough for you to cheat,:evil: and cheating is awful.
One of my friends has an online boyfriend, and she can't get enough of him.:angel:She's run her family's cell phone bill up to 600 dollars because she won't stop texting him and calling him at all hours of the day. It's insanity!!:insane:
However, another one of my friends was dating a guy online, and she got a picture of him and everything.He was pretty good looking.;)Her mom even told her that he could come visit, but he would have to sleep on the couch.:squee::rofl: Her mom was pretty sad when she said that, though. The reason I say this is because I went to her house and saw that their living room is right outside of her bedroom. Her bed is right across from her doorway, so if he slept on the couch, he would still be able to see her. He would also have a chance to go into her room because their room is positioned so that they can't see anything in the living room. What a laugh!!:sarcasm:
I'm not saying that people should not date people online, but i'm not saying that they should.

I should probably shut up, though, because I don't know much about love. I'm all about safety. I've never even dated anyone before.:(

I don't even think I can stand having nothing but an online or distance relationship. i need the closeness and the ability to see my partner to really be fullfilled. I don't want ot have to worry about who they're sleeping with because I'm not there. It's too stressful. i've known people to move to different states because of their partners they had met at either Anime Conventions, or even through online dating sites. It's sketchy, and creepy at the same time IMHO

I don't think online dating and long-distant relashion ships are silly at all. It's maybe not for everyone, but some people can work it out. Some of them sites look quite riddiculous though. xD

I think there's a point in being careful, like never meet with someone before you've spoken on the phone etc.
I've been using internet dating since I was 15~16, mostly because I didn't really know any other way to get in contact and date other girls. Nothing bad have happened to me (other than harrassment). But I have friends who've met up with people who have lied about age and stuff. They've gotten out of it ok, fortunately.

Not for me -- it's easy to edit yourself online, and there are things you can miss. When you meet people up front from the get-go, there are no guarantees, but you have more to work with and you can see whether there is chemistry and how they react to situations...

Although that applies with nearly any situation in which you happen to meet the person. I mean to take an example, my ex gf met me at our old hostels pool table. As I can be very serious about pool, especially as I was practising for a local bar's pool comp, her initial impression of me was that I am a very serious person. Which to my great credit is what caused her to become curious & interested about me. It is just lucky that when she realized I am actually the world's dorkiest person, this did not kill her interest in me. :O