|
Phantom Sanctuary
This is a story that I've kept locked away in my journals and even put up on my high school's student website. If anyone claims to have written this story, please notify me, because they're telling a bunch of bullshit. It's three years old, and I have the notebook to prove it.
The story will start on the next post. I'd appreciate it if all criticism would be kept under a strictly professional style, or as some like to call it, constructive criticism. This isn't a place where you can just go AWOL (of course we may go off-topic sometimes if we're not talking about the story), and I really don't want drama started in a place where I can escape to. Thank you. |
Phantom Sanctuary Chapter One There are many things in this world that can be considered strange. Unusual. Something that you can't possibly comprehend because it's beyond those social norms that you've been born into. But, what if we told you that you've been lied to? What if we told you that your entire world is a lie? A fabrication made of greed and corruption. You'd think we're insane. But, what if we told you that we were the truth and you are the ones lost in the madness? Suddenly, insanity isn't so uncommon, now is it? Welcome to the real world; enjoy your stay. Snow blanketed the small town of Bane and as it dotted the skies, a small car crawled through the thick of the blizzard. Inside was a concerned mother and her dozing 12-year-old son. The mother's eyes were fixated to the road, her every move dictated by snowfall. "Damn," she hissed, looking into the distance. Although she loved snow, this was just too much for her car to handle. As the needle on her speedometer went up, so did her chance to slide out of control. She turned off her brights. "If this keeps up, we won't even make it to the Skyport..." Needing something to calm herself, the mother turned a knob on the radio. There was a loud static crackling and it came to life. The first words it spoke: "...In recent news, a pirate broadcast, shown yesterday morning, has caused an uproar in the Violetta Province," The mother's eyes strayed to the radio for a moment then snapped back to the road. She shook her head. "I told that idiot that it was too early.” The mother said. “But, once again... he refused to listen to me." Glancing at her child, she turned down the volume on the radio as to not wake him. "A group of insurgents, calling themselves the Rebellion, have begun launching a set of influential attacks on the Director of the Government and the Departments that it oversees...” The mother smirked. “Would you look at that? Dolls. Fighting against their creators...” The mother nodded her head in contemplation. “Maybe that idiot was right after all.” “Officials say that this was merely a freak accident and assure us that this insurrection will be suppressed immediately. No information, however, has been found on who the speaker was in the broadcast..." "Good job, Brenna." the mother said. Brenna had gone two steps ahead and covered the Phantom's tracks, just like she suggested. Brenna had always been the logical thinker of the group. “In other news, a recent article in the Bane Inquirer has been removed for anti-Government content. The author, Harmony Hyde, has been detained and brought in for questioning.” “Shit!” The mother punched the radio and the speakers silenced themselves. The display flickered and faded out into nothingness as the mother continued to drive. Harmony Hyde was a hard-hitting, no-nonsense, charge-in-without-a-second-thought journalist. On top of always being well-dressed (her outfit usually consisted of a dark-colored suit and matching skirt), she had an incredible work ethic; she worked her hardest even though she was at a small publication. She produced powerful stories. Stories the people wanted to hear. However, some of her stories bordered the edges of legality. Her skill to “tell the bitter truth instead of a beautiful lie” brought the Government’s Department of Discretion upon her a multitude of times. And, usually through a representative. They would approach Harmony, telling her to stop. Of course she never did. And she never apologized. After all, every publication gave her commission. And, every commission gave her and her son, Christian, another month of room and board. As her anger subsided, she looked at the now-broken radio. There was nothing she could do now. The media lied about her capture. That meant the Government was going to come at her sideways. Quick. Silent. That meant they were sending in a Knight. This time, Harmony hit a nerve with someone deep in the system and now, the Government was coming after her and Christian. The Skyport was out of the question. But, she needed to get out of the Province somehow. There was only one place that she could go. The Phantom Sanctuary. There was shuffling in the passenger seat and the child began to stir. Harmony glanced at him for a second and smiled. "Hey, sleepy face." The boy's response came out as a small grumble. "Hey." "Did you sleep well?" "Yeah... for the most part." Harmony furrowed her eyebrows. Her son always slept well... except when there was imminent danger. "Mostly? What happened?" "I dunno," the boy began to explain. "At first, there was nothing. Then, there was this person dressed in blue, walking through a snowstorm. And he had this wild ice-blue hair..." Harmony brought the car to a stop and looked her son straight in the eyes. The air in the car became tense as Harmony lowered her voice to a whisper. "Christian, I want you to be one hundred percent correct on this. In your dream, you saw a man dressed in blue with wild ice-blue hair?" The child, frightened by his mother's sudden change in tone, gave her a frantic nod. "Yes! I'm sure of it!" The mother unbuckled her seat belt and opened the car door. As she stepped out, Christian called after her. “Mom, what's going on?” The arctic winds whistled through the car and lashed at the mother's face as she squinted into the night. In the distance, she saw a figure shambling towards her. The mother could see no distinct features from so far away but it was obvious enough. They were followed. She spent another second watching the figure in an attempt to see who it was. A fiery blue glow emanated from its side. “Oh no,” she whispered in fright. Christian repeated his question, this time more direct and panicked. The mother looked at her child with a mixture of determination, horror, and love. She extended her hand. "Hold on to me, Christian." The child did so. The mother ran to the back of the car and grabbed something out of the trunk; an old lackluster sword, sheathed in leather that was battered and bruised from use. At the sight of the sword, the child began to panic. He had never seen his mother carry any weapons let alone one that had been used multiple times. His breathing became erratic and things began to blur together. The mother saw this and tried to snap Christian out of it. "Christian! Look at me! Just breathe and look at me!" Christian's eyes strayed to his mother's. The mother smiled. "Everything's going to be fine. Just take a deep breath and close your eyes." Christian did so. He felt his entire body vibrate and it became hard to breathe. Instinctively, he opened his eyes again and found himself in a white room. Just a white room. There were no windows or doors. Just walls. Christian's lungs began to sputter. There was no air here. His hand flew to his chest in a vain effort to stop the pain that racked his body. Things got blurry again and then he looked towards the distance. A man dressed in blue began to move towards him. Feeling utter despair, Christian rolled over with whatever energy he had left and waited to die. "...ot... eathing..." "...dead..." "...couldn't take it..." "...Harmony... not your fault..." "...so frigh... my baby..." "...” "...look..." "...waking up..." "...everyone come here..." The darkness lifted and light filled Christian's senses. As the light subsided, four silhouettes came into view. From the sounds of it, one was crying and another was comforting them. The two others were silent; nothing distinguishable about them yet. His eyes finally adjusted and Christian could see who was who. The one crying was his mom and the one comforting her was the local priest, Father Xin. The two others were nuns, judging by their clothing. They helped Christian to his feet and as the blood rushed back to his brain, he asked, "What happened?" His mother rushed to Christian, her arms wrapping around him, tears in her eyes. "Oh my God, Christian... I thought I lost you..." Christian hugged his mom back, confused. "Lost me? I don't even know what happened..." One of the nuns spoke up. "Harmony teleported you here." Christian looked at his mother and gave the nun a look of disbelief. "Teleported me? Please. Like I'd believe that. I'm not two, you know." When the nun continued to look at Christian with a very straight face, Christian began to wonder. Teleportation? That wasn't possible. No one was able to do that. Not just out of thin air. "No way..." The nun showed Christian the back of her hand. On it was a triangle with folded wings coming out. As Christian stared at it, it began to glow a light blue. Christian looked at the nun in amazement. "We're Phantoms. Members of a society called the Discipleship of the King. All of us. Even your mother. And, all of us have... unique talents. Your mother here is the genius who figured out how to teleport.” Christian held his head. It was still throbbing from the trip. "But, why are we here in the first place?" Everyone became silent. Father Xin helped Harmony to her feet and spoke, "The man you saw, the one in your dreams... he is real. His name is Magnus. And, he is very dangerous. He tried to attack you two on the way here." Christian nodded. “He attacked us...? Then, we teleported here?” “Correct. Being the fair 'gentleman' that he is, he probably let you two escape,” Father Xin replied. Christian looked towards the back of the chapel. Instead of where the altar would usually be, there was an opening that led to a flight of stairs. “But, that's neither here nor there. Christian, it is your mother's wish that we sent you away to safety. If you will, follow Mother Thevenet and Father Matthieu downstairs.” Christian turned to a priest and priestess. The priest had silvery hair and a stoic look brushed across his face. The priestess had long auburn hair and a thoughtful gaze. Christian's eyes narrowed. For some reason, something told him that this would be the last time he saw his mother. He ran to her and held her close. “Mom...?” Although his head was buried in Harmony's chest, he could feel her stomach convulse. She was crying. This was the last time they'd see each other. Christian began to cry too until the sound of knocking silenced the room. Everyone's head turned to the door with anxiety. “...It's time,” Father Xin whispered. He reached down beside him and picked up the sword Harmony brought with her, slipping the handle of it into her hand. “Quickly. He must go.” Harmony nudged Christian back and looked him in the eyes again. “Christian, you'll understand all of this when you're older... Just go with Brenna and Shaun... You'll be in good hands with them...” “I don't want to understand!” Christian yelled, voice cracking in rage. “I want you to come with me!” Shaun stepped forward, eyes somber. “Harmony.” Harmony looked up at the priest, tears still in her eyes. “I am the closest to a first-generation that we have. I can hold Magnus off. You go with your son.” Harmony quieted herself. She knew she would have no chance against a first-generation, let alone Magnus. She took Christian by the hand and hurried towards the stairs. Just as she reached the stairs, the heavy wooden doors burst open in a violent display. Each piece flew off in a different direction, destroying everything in its path and kicking up plumes of dust. As the dust settled and the person responsible came into view, Harmony and Christian disappeared down the stairway. Darkness engulfed the two as the stairway wound down into what seemed like infinity for Christian. Soon, the two saw ground. As they walked into the room, Harmony looked around. This would be a good squeeze point. Harmony pushed Christian towards another tunnel. “Go, Christian,” Harmony hissed. “This is as far as I go...” When Christian raised his voice to object, Harmony put the sword into his hands. “Do me one last favor... Make sure you give this to a man who calls himself Gregio. Okay?” Christian remained silent. There was a loud crash from above them and Harmony took one last glance at her child. “Go now.” Christian scurried into the dark tunnel and Harmony turned back to face her fear. The light clopping of boots heralded the coming of the man. True to form, the man appeared before Harmony, clad in navy and sporting ice-blue hair. He focused an eye on Harmony. “Madame Hyde.” “Magnus,” Harmony hissed. Her hands began to glow a fiery red and the two began to circle each other in a tango to the death. It had been a long while since she had performed a Perfect Resonance. Doubt began to creep in where confidence should have been and Harmony began to feel anxious for the first time. She needed to do this to save Christian. And herself. “Why are you killing all of the Phantoms, Magnus?” She asked as Magnus' hands began to glow a deep blue. Magnus chuckled. “I'm not killing them; I'm liberating them.” “Liberating? From what? You're the only one who can't seem to live with what you are.” “I know who I am,” Magnus smirked. “I am a messenger. And, it is the messenger's job to have you understand the err of your ways.” Harmony shook her head in disgust. “You are obsessed.” Magnus raised his hand as it began to glow brighter. “Enlightened is the term, my dear.” Harmony mirrored his movements and let loose a giant pillar of fire towards Magnus who, in turn, sent a large beam of ice toward Harmony. The two energies clashed and a giant explosion shattered the stone of the room around them. Christian turned around to see what happened and was caught in the force of the explosion. It lifted his body into the air and smashed him against the wall. The world became black. |
Chapter Two "What the hell happened?" Said a gruff man to a frantic woman. The woman, who couldn't stop crying, tried to explain but, through the tears, it sounded like a horrid mash-up of noises. The man tried again. "Brenna, breathe. Just tell me what happened." Mother Thevenet looked up with watery hazel eyes. After the siege on her Sanctuary, she and Shaun had teleported to the City of Labyrinth and went to the Phantom Sanctuary there. She had to tell the others what had happened… "We were… attacked… by… Magn… Magnus…” The man looked Brenna dead in the eyes. "What?" “He broke… through our defenses… Made quick work out… out of me and Shaun… Then… he went after Harmony… and her son.” “And, you came here?!” The man shouted at the top of his lungs. His rage knew no bounds. He had spent forever, trying to make sure that this Phantom Sanctuary was protected and safe. Now, someone had compromised their safety. Not the best way to say hello. Stomping to a pair of looming double doors, the man’s hands became enveloped in a set of dark flames. He lifted them in front of him and more of the dark flames covered the doors in a fiery coat. They subsided and the man turned his fury back to the woman. “You ran away to another Sanctuary, knowing that he can trace energy trails? How stupid can you be?” Shaun stepped forward. “What would you propose we do, Gregio? Sit there and wait to die?” The man crossed his arms. “For the good of the others, yes. You should have.” “Magnus crucified Harmony. Nailed her hands and strung her to a cross. You wanted us to stay in the same room with that… that monster?” Gregio got closer to Shaun and looked him in the eyes. Without a hint of compassion, he hissed: “Yes.” “That’s enough, Marcelo,” said a voice from behind. Gregio turned around to see a woman walk towards him. She had long green hair and a strange toga-like outfit that covered her entire body in green and black. Gregio growled at her. “Don’t pretend like this isn’t a serious matter, Ephion. Their being here is a big risk for all of us.” “And it is a risk we will take,” the woman replied, sitting down beside Brenna. She looked at Ephion with bloodshot eyes for a moment and then began crying into Ephion’s sash. “We are an endangered people, Marcelo. I don’t need to remind you of that.” Gregio cast his eyes downward. “If we start abandoning our own,” Ephion continued as she stroked Brenna’s hair. “The entire Discipleship might as well been for naught.” The room became silent as Ephion’s words rung true. Everyone knew it. They denied it in their minds, but, deep in their hearts, they knew exactly what was happening. They were being wiped off the face of the planet. Gregio walked off towards a flight of stairs. “This is ridiculous.” “Where are you going, Gregio?” Shaun asked. “I’m not going to sit here and wait for extinction. I’m accelerating the plan.” Ephion’s eyes widened. “No, Marcelo! Going too fast with this could bring the entire Government on us too!”. “I don’t care!” Gregio yelled. “I will not let millenias of work go to waste! We need everyone that we can get. Here. Now.” Ephion locked eyes with Gregio. She was the eldest here but Gregio always wanted to do his own thing. However, there was one thing that held true: He always did what was best. When Ephion didn’t reply, Gregio went down the stairway, set on his goal. When he was out of sight, Ephion turned back to Brenna. “Brenna, when you were in Bane, did you see Harmony’s son? Was he okay?” Brenna shook her head. “I couldn’t… find him… All I saw was Harmony…” Ephion stood up and looked into nothingness. There was a very good chance that Harmony’s son was still alive, but could she really risk the chance that Magnus was still roaming around that area? Conflicted with her feelings, Ephion took the logical decision. She stayed. |
Chapter Three Centuries passed. Technology advanced. People lived and died. All over the Violetta Province, events began to disturb the calm of what was. The biggest problem, however, were the Venus raids. Long ago, the Government found the key to the eternal question: how can humans stay young forever? The answer: an anti-aging serum called Venus that is injected directly into the bloodstream. Coming in different strains, people became dependant on this drug. Venus became a necessity. An addiction. And, thusly, a lucretive business. The Government began to get an increasing cashflow from their legal drug market but they didn't think about what could happen if people reacted negatively to the Venus. Soon enough, humans began to take on a strange glossy skin. Waxy and unnatural... like a doll. As these Dolls began to multiply, the other effect of Venus came to light. As people began to depend on the drug, the drug began to affect the minds of its users, making them much more susceptible to emotional responses. There were random outbreaks of violence all over the Province. The Government took notice and began withholding the Venus. The doses that they did release, however, had price tags only the weathly could afford. That was when the Dolls began to raid Venus shipments to the Government. That was the beginning of the raids. Every time a Venus truck turned over... everytime a Venus shipping freighter was anchored at the docks... they were there like moths to light. Waiting in the shadows to strike like lightning and disappear just as fast. Chaos ensued and, soon, a special enforcement group called the Knights began to escort the shipments. However, the Government never accounted for the sheer number of addicts they had created. The small security detail became overrun and it was believed that all of the Knights were wiped out. But, of course... rumors aren't always true. Under the cover of night, a large moving truck snaked through a narrow mountain pass. The friendly label on the side of it: "Move your junk with Joe's trucks!" The cargo? The largest shipment of Venus the Government ever tried to smuggle into the City of Labyrinth, escorted by the last three Knights in existence and a complete weapon loadout. One was a stately woman with jet-black hair that stood ever-vigilant at the back door. Another was a red-haired man whose face made him easy to be mistaken as a teenager; he watched the trip through the small skylights at the top of the walls. The last one was a tan man with disheveled hair. He slept quietly next to the weapons cache. The red-haired man looked back at him. "Lucky bastard. Gets to sleep on a run like this." "You're just jealous because he got last shift and not you," said the dark-haired woman. "Doesn't make it any better," the man grumbled as he looked through all the skylights again. He cocked the energy pistol at his side. As the energy inside began to heat up, the woman turned around. "Gabe, I've told you about that." "What?" The man replied. "It's so much faster!" "You won't be saying that if you shoot a hole in your foot." The man sighed, turned back to the skylights, and uncocked the gun. "Whatever you said, Cath..." He caught himself mid-sentence. In an instant, he could feel the woman's death glares from the other side of the truck. She hated being called her real name. The moment passed and the woman turned back to the back door. As the rocky road began to wind on and on, she began to wonder. Her entire life, she'd seen things through a rearview window. Sure, she was employed by the Government and the chances of her losing her job were very slim. But, sometimes, on long quiet runs like this, she thought about what could have been. Had the Government not picked her out, she could have been somewhere else. Somewhere beautiful with a house and a child. But, life doesn't like happy endings. "We got incoming!" The woman turned around and walked towards Gabe. Back against the wall, she craned her neck up to look across the valley. Nothing but trees and shrubbery flickered past. The woman looked at Gabe, confused. "You sure?" Gabe moved to the weapons cache. "Move it," he said as he pushed the tan man out of the way. He opened the crate, grabbed a rifle from the weapons cache and jammed an energy cartridge into the slot. The energy began to heat up. "Rain, do you remember when I told you about that little boy that got attacked by Dolls?" The woman nodded. "That was me," Gabe finished, cocking the rifle's hammer back. "I'd know those yellow eyes anywhere." Rain nodded at Gabe and walked to the weapons cache as well. Her hand tapped the tan man's shoulder. "Trow. Trow, wake up." The tan man shuffled in his seat. "We there yet?" "Far from it." "Dolls?" "Dolls." Trow reached into the cache and pulled out two crimson pistols. "Why can't we have a quiet run?" Rain pulled out another rifle, loaded it with a energy cartridge, and cocked it back. "Because we're Knights... in a hellhole of a world." She went to the back door and pointed the barrel out of the window. At first, nothing showed itself. But, after about five minutes, the Dolls made their move. Aiming down the scope, she saw one run off the cliffside next to the truck. It landed on the road behind them and began sprinting. A crack of thunder and the Doll was down. It was fast. Too fast. Rain turned around. "Driver! You need to pick up the pace! Now!" A voice from the front of the truck responded. "I can't! She'll go off the road if I punch it now!" Another crack of thunder, this time from Gabe's rifle. Then, a click. "Dammit," he cursed, unjamming his rifle. "You picked a fine time to be useless, driver!" The driver bit back. "Well, if the stupid Government was doing all this sidesteppin', maybe I- Whoa!" The entire truck buried its nose deep in the ground, sending the shipment and the Knights flying backwards. As they hit the front wall, there was an energy blast and it burned a nice hole in the back door. Trow was the first to recover. "Driver! Driver, are you okay?" Silence. Then, a voice: "I'm fine. But, you ain't gonna like this..." Trow looked through the driver's mesh, saw the problem and turned to the others. "There's a roadblock in front of us." "Roadblock?" Gabe scoffed. "We work for the Government, you fool! Flash your ID!" Trow stayed silent and began loading his pistols with energy cartridges. Only when they were ready to fire did he say, "That's 'roadblock', pronounced: 'a big damn boulder'." Gabe's eyes widened. "We're cool, though, right? We can defend this position..." Rain looked at her rifle. The muzzle was still steaming and she looked at the damage she did to the door. Realizing what happened, she took out the energy cartridge and jammed one into her pistol. "No, we can't." "Why not?" "When the truck stopped, I must have shot the lock as I was falling back." The sound of footsteps echoed from the roof. The lock missing was the least of their problems now. Rain hissed. "Here they come..." Gabe reached into the crate and pulled out some flashbang grenades. "Like hell they are." As he walked to the door, Trow and Rain looked at each other. "Any regrets?" Asked Rain. "Nope." "Good." Rain and Trow joined Gabe at the door. "Gabe, you know the deal. Front, top, flash. Trow, front, side, side." The three burst out of the door, guns blazing and the sound of thunder roaring through the valley. Dolls instantly began to drop where they stood and like any well-executed plan, it worked vin the beginning. Until more started coming. Soon, the Knights were getting bottlenecked and pushed back towards the boulder. "Rain... is there another... plan... after this...?" Trow asked, each pause punctuated by an energy blast. Rain stayed silent for a second then muttered, "I'm working on that..." All of a sudden, the Dolls began retreating back into the shadows from whence they came, leaving a trio of Knights stunned. Dolls never retreated... ever. Gabe looked at Rain. "Why are they not finishing us off?" Rain ran to the back of the truck. To no surprise, the Venus was gone. She screamed to the heavens, hands nearly ripping out her hair. She hated failing. More importantly, she hated what the Director of the Government did to failures. Gabe sat down next to where the shipment would have been, just as mad. "I... hate... Dolls!" He seethed, throwing his pistol on the ground. "They're like smart zombies!" Trow walked up to the group. He was always the calm voice of reason in the group. "No use getting mad about it now... What do we do?" Rain bit her lip. "We talk to the Director. Say we lost his shipment." "He won't like that." "Then, brace yourself for the worst. If we're lucky, we'll see the sun rise from our jail cells tomorrow." |
Chapter Four Reserved |
Chapter Five Reserved |
Chapter Six Reserved |
Chapter Seven Reserved |
Reserved Just In Case |
Reserved Just In Case |
Reserved Just In Case |
open for constructive criticism |
Free cookies, anyone? ;)
|
All constructive criticism is appreciated. Especially since the lot of you are just reading this and then going somewhere else without giving me the slightest heads-up.
|
I'd really appreciate it if someone posted something down here.
|
It's very interesting. (though I've only read the first chapter so far...out of pure laziness. XD ) You really manage to suck the reader in, and you use very good description words, which is always a good thing. I could picture this happening, because of your great imagery. Your dialogue is also good, and the reactions are pretty believable. A few little things got to me, though.
Like, with the radio. You said that it was broken at one point, and I didn't understand how it got that way. Quote:
Quote:
I also don't get how Christian never noticed a sword sitting in the backseat of the car. I mean, it didn't say that the thing was concealed in any way, just that she grabbed it from the back seat. I know he was sleeping...but he had to be awake when they got in the car, right? On a good note, I love the sheer badassery of a mom that goes from cussing and throwing around insults (and apparently, breaking radios) one minute to calling her son "sleepy face" the next. XD And she carries a freaking SWORD in the back seat. A heavily used sword, might I add! Seriously, that's epic. It's good, so far. I really like it. :) I'll be sure to comment on the other chapters in a bit... (By the way, I feel your pain on the commenting thing. -.- Seriously, how hard is it to leave a comment after you read, people!?) |
Very interesting so far. Alhtough the first part and the second part don't seem to have much connection yet, I'm sure we'll see something soon.
I do think that the son seems a little too... old for a 12 year old? I'm not quite sure why, but I got the impression he was a little older than that, like 14 or 15. Of course, some kids can be mature, so that may not be a problem. |
Quote:
I guess I should edit it to make it look like it was concealed, or something, because I don't know where she got the sword from either. Maybe it came from the trunk? We shall soon see. Getting people to post is extremely hard. ._. Quote:
|
That's perfectly fine. I was just noticing. Personally, I think people often don't give kids enough credit for how mature they can be. So I see nothing wrong with it. Just wanted to make sure that's what you were going for.
|
Meh, does anyone else who's read this story think I should continue it?
|
I think it's a neat beginning, but if you don't feel like continuing don't force yourself to. You don't want to slog through it just because you feel you SHOULD.
|
I just feel like I can't write anything for this anymore. I'll give it a try when I update for the fourth chapter, but other than that... I don't know.
|
I've felt that before. Sometimes the ideas just spent itself. Happens.
|
Not sure if it makes any difference, but I am dying to know what happens! I love your concepts so far. You sucked me in completely. I really want to know how the parts are connected.
|
| All times are GMT. The time now is 11:28 PM. |