The "r" word and how it affects those around you.
 

My name is Jordie. I am 19 years old and work in the disabled community. I am currently perusing a major in child psychology to study developmental disabilities.

Every time I'm on Mene and I read the word "retard", I wince a little. This goes double for the General Discussion forum since people here tend to be very thoughtful and well-educated. I know people don't think it's a big deal, but it affects our community more than you know.

I'm not here to start any big arguments, or tell you what you can or can't do. But would you please consider trying to edit the word "retard" out of your conversation? It's meaning is no longer politically correct or true, and instead has become an awful derogatory for anyone of lower intelligence. Please, let's help change that stereotype.

For more personal stories about how much one little word can affect the community, try these: some of my favorite personal experiences.

Love That Max: If you ask people to not use the word "retard"
Love That Max: A mother's battle against the r-word.

ReJenerationS: Spread the Word to End the Word, Op Ed by Self Advocate
A wonderful personal story by an athlete named John Franklin Stephens on his experience with Down Syndrome and how the r-word affects him.

If you'd like to contribute your own stories, have a discussion or are just here for support, thanks! I'll be here to talk.

R-word | Spread the Word to End the Word
Spread the word to end the word.

I have a friend who is mentally retarded, I understand what you are saying.
If I ever say "retarded" to someone who is not actually mentally ill, I don't mean it.
And I would never say it to someone rudely like some people do.
That's just uncalled for.
Thank you =]

I wouldn't call someone who isn't mentally retarded a retard. But calling someone who is mentally retarded a retard...well, I don't get what's the deal about that, anyway. Since they are, you know, retarded. That's like calling a straight person a homo. Well, that doesn't make sense. But call a homo a homo, that does.

Anyway, since I don't feel like writing out all my feelings (because I just woke up @[email protected] ) Ralphie May expresses my feelings exactly.

WARNING: The following is a video clip from the comedian Ralphie May. He is a comedian on Comedy Central, and the video may be considered offensive. Viewer discretion is advised.
Ralphie May - Retarded - Video Clip | Comedy Central's Jokes.com

I wish mene had a "Tip" button like Gaia.

I think the issue you bring up is contextual issue. Being mentally "Retarded" is a state of being, its not an insult, other people who are not mentally disabled have turned it into just such an insult, because they are immature little children, and can't come up with a better insult than that...if one happens to be "Retarded" (mentally disabled) refering to them as such is not meant as a blatant insult, only in the context that another (non-mentally disabled) person uses it as a vicious barb, then it becomes a hateful word/action.

The people use the word "retard" to insult are usually the same people who use the word "gay" to insult. Uneducated nubs. :)

I'd have to argee with you, quite frankly. Using a term like "Gay" or "Retard" as an insult really only illustrates one's lack of wit and understanding of the aforementioned terminology. For example, using the term "Gay" is idiotic 1.If one is infact Homosexual, they will not find this term offensive. 2.If one is not Homosexual, and they are secure in such a fact, again, such an idiotic statement should and more than likely will not phase them in the slightlest fashion.

It is very good that you have come to such a realization...that is why threads like this are a great idea. If threads such as this one effect one person's opinion for the possitie, than this thread has achieved a great thing, it has effected change.

ll P W E E P ll:
Aedmourne:
Actually, I'm asking to stop ALL use of the word "retard". It's no longer a politically correct term, and unfortunately, people with all sorts of disabilities, mental or not, are often grouped into the use of this hurtful term.

Even if someone *is* mentally disabled, <- that is the proper term... calling them a retard hurts them and makes them believe they aren't worth anything, can't accomplish anything.

The only comparison I can think of is calling someone who's gay a faggot, or someone who's black a nigger. It's offensive, and hurtful, and not pc. Every kid who was ever bullied for being pudgy in elementary school, every person who was persecuted in a foreign country because of their religion or the color of their skin. It makes you feel demeaned. It makes you feel less than human. It can hurt your self-esteem, your love of life and so much more.

Moogle:
It's just a hateful word in general. It shouldn't be used even when someone IS mentally disabled. Over time the meaning has been corrupted and decayed; now, use of it to any individual regardless of typical or abnormal development is demeaning.

As for spreading it through your family, unfortunately I see a lot of that... good for you for not using it yourself, though!

I understand completely what you're saying about that word. My boyfriend, mother, and myself all have learning disabilities. One day at the dinner table a conversation came up about mentally handicapped individuals and my grandmother, grandfather, and uncle all made it a point to dig at all of us and individuals with mental incapacitates. I brought up a point where my boyfriend had been called slow to his face by a group of jerk teens because he couldn't order his food fast enough for them at a fast food chain. My uncle basically said he deserved to be called slow behind his back. He also said the only good job for mentally handicapped individuals (He didn't use these words, he used the dreaded R word.) is to be baggers at grocery stores and nothing else. My grandfather agreed with him and so did my grandmother. My grandfather said, that he really didn't want them touching his food because they bag it wrong. I was so upset and pissed off at all of them. I still am for what they said, however challenge any of them and it's an all out war basically.

My mom and I were getting out of the house that night and I ended up crying a lot. She understood why and understood my pain. I personally hate that word and want to try to remove it from my vocabulary. I think people with mental handicaps are typically the sweetest people you will ever meet. I knew a guy with down syndrome in my high school and he was loved by everyone. He was the sweetest kid ever and very kind.

I would very much like to see this word out of the vocabulary of everyone and out of the dictionary. I wish we could say, if it doesn't exist don't use it. However people constantly use non-existent words and they make it into the dictionary. This word and quite a few others however, really deserve to be erased from the minds and mouths of everyone.

I agree...
 

LauLau:
I'll expand my argument to you, then, as stated above:

Actually, I'm asking to stop ALL use of the word "retard". It's no longer a politically correct term, and unfortunately, people with all sorts of disabilities, mental or not, are often grouped into the use of this hurtful term.

Even if someone *is* mentally disabled, <- that is the proper term... calling them a retard hurts them and makes them believe they aren't worth anything, can't accomplish anything.

The only comparison I can think of is calling someone who's gay a faggot, or someone who's black a nigger. It's offensive, and hurtful, and not pc. Every kid who was ever bullied for being pudgy in elementary school, every person who was persecuted in a foreign country because of their religion or the color of their skin. It makes you feel demeaned. It makes you feel less than human. It can hurt your self-esteem, your love of life and so much more.

I prefer to call people a noob when they're being stupid.
noob= not smart person by lack of desire to be such
newbie= new person
r-word= noobish
^.^

Now you're getting bogged down in the terminology. If you choose to allow the word to have a hurtful meaning, then you give it the power, if you choose to shrug it off and make lite of it, then it ceases to hold the power to demean. Frankly I feel that too often we get so caught up in the attempt to save people's feelings that we fail to realize often times, they themselves are the one's allowing themselves to be hurt...on the other hand however, I can see where this would pose a legitimate problem with someone who is "Mentally Handicapped", because they more than likely will not understand that the difference in terminology. All too often we find ourselves so enveloped in the struggle to be "Politcally Correct" that we fail to really,effectively communicate.

I hate political correctness.
Everyone is going to get offended by something. 50 years from now "mentally disabled" will be a bad word and they'll have come up with some other word to use to describe people who would now be called "mentally disabled."
It's a cycle and it will keep going as long as you give these words the "power" to offend. They are terms to label something. Retard many years ago was considered the "appropriate" way to describe someone with mental (/intellectual) difficulties.

Have you ever heard the phrase "fire retardant"? Root word: Retard.

Meaning:
Edit: I'd also like to note that I went to a "special education" school, and many of my classmates had severe impairments.

Sticks and stones love,

It's and insult because it's insulting, if it wasn't people wouldn't use it to insult each other.

=___=" Who fucking cares about it or anything

I typically use the term "developmental disability" because I really hate "intellectual disability", "exceptional" or stuff like that. I have Asperger's even though I'm REALLY smart so I got called retard A LOT. I do have a developmental and a psychiatric disability though.

Meh.

Or "spaz"...

I must admit, my friend and I call each other spaz because we both have neuromuscular problems and the spasms make us do interesting things (I actually managed to throw my juice all over the back of me at the dinner table...now that takes talent!)