My werid poems
 

Vendetta

Why would a human be such a vengeful person? Love and hurt her?

Make her feel like nothing? Make her wish for him dead?

Thinking of ways to hurt him....thinking of ways to make him feel....

Pain. Ah yes the pain he will be in...Without knowing she’s there....

She will make him feel...ah women are like men though...

Using him for her selfish needs...taking from him as he....

Takes from her...hearts twisted, ripped, and shredded...

She makes him feel pain...he makes her feel pain....

The pain we all cause each other...why do we do it?

With love we hurt....with happiness we hurt

Why do we hurt people? Must we all be so vengeful?

By Jessica Lyn

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Waiting

Ahh I wait for your love, your kiss, your touch.

All I do is wait for the day you take me,

Never release me,

Waiting for a second feels like an hour,

Imagine how I must feel as I wait for years,

But I will wait for you,

As my love grows I think of you,

As I wait,

Ahh how I wait.

Jessica Lyn

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Forget

Why must we have such fragile minds?

Forget the thoughts we had...

Remember what we shouldn’t....

Remember what we wish we didn’t

Block out what we can

I wish I could block out him

His lust

His need

Her lust

Her need

By Jessica Lyn

wow :O

I'm going to make this short, considering it is Mene. Friendly critique time!

1. Less ellipses in Vendetta. Much less, it feels disjointed in a way, and every stanza sort of seems to wonder off into... nothing.
2. Parts such as the first stanza in Waiting have sort of haphazard punctuation going on, and it feels like there should be something there.
3. Forget needs to have the five straight sentances either reduced to being recited once, or put together. I feel it would be more powerful like this:

"His lust, his need.
Her lust,her need."

Just thought that I would put out some helpful pointers.