| Admonish Misconstruction |
08-06-2012 07:42 PM |
Quote:
...while this quote makes most twitch, I...I can't keep myself from agreeing somewhat. Soldiers on the battlefield follow the commands of their superiors. Not only because they'll be punished if they disobey- and come out of the battle alive- but because they trust their commanders. They have no choice but to do as they are told, there is no time to think twice.
|
The relationship and bond between a commander and his/her soldiers is very different than a romantic relationship. Joker One is a wonderful book that illustrates the relationship between officer and soldier. The book is written about Donovan Campbell and his platoon that was deployed in Ramadi, Iraq. I don't mean to be rude, but I do not believe a soldier their officers is a good example to use. A commander should never use deception, once a commander's soldier's smell this out (which they will) the officer will lose all respect and credibility and will unable to lead his men effectively because they will no longer trust them. I believe that last part is true of a relationship as well.
In a relationship if you're untruthful the lose the ability to trust your partner and that makes it very difficult for the relationship. Instead of working towards bettering your relationship you're actually putting yourself several steps back, having to regain the trust (which can take a long time) and sometimes that simply utterly destroys relationships. Betrays of trust, whether be adultery or whatnot ruins a relationship. The author tries to promote the idea of going behind your partner's back and changing how they think all the while doing this to promote what you want. This is huge risk and a huge betrayal of trust. Not worth it.
While a romantic relationship is victim to endless battles it's far removed from the battlefields of Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, World War II, and so on. You fight different types of battles and you fight them in a very different way with very different weapons.
Quote:
I think back to a lot of things I've learned about M/S via experience and then my own research. (Though I still need to do some natural observation at one point; I like to think of it as an internship.) Even if the sub/slave thinks otherwise, she obeys her dom/master because she trusts him. In order for that relationship to work there must be a total power exchange. Some don't go to that high a level but, if the two are in sync, it is a beautiful thing to witness.
|
The way the author uses manipulation it's, as the dictionary states: "to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one's own advantage." The author repeatably puts forward his agenda without the approval of his partner. This is not trust, but selfishness.
Quote:
The topic at hand is as a result, how to manipulate women and get your way.
|
This is an example of selfish love for ones self and a total disregard of personal freedom. The author disregards his partner's opinions and condones it poorly. This does not equal trust or respect.
I don't know much about the M/S relationship but from what I have heard and read that trust and respect is pivotal. In marriage counselling, relationship books, psychiatrists, counselors, and son on trust and respect of pivotal; the lack of two will destroy a relationship.
Quote:
How can a man and woman foster a lifetime commitment on trust and respect when one is out to manipulate the other for personal gain and satisfaction? Simple. She must never know your intentions or methods to influence her mind.
|
Quote:
If you bend your woman to your will and she is oblivious to the fact, did you even manipulate her mind in the first place?
|
(I think I already discussed why this is immoral and a really poor defense)
Quote:
[women] resist deception with maddening ease.
|
Quote:
In our [men/me] quest to carve a better life
|
Quote:
not only will you scare her straight
|
Quote:
reward her with affection and attention when she warrants
|
Quote:
Women want men who take control
|
Quote:
defender to his detractors.
|
Quote:
article in order to manipulate the mind of your woman
|
Again, I don't believe there's an arguments of semantics, the author does not mean influence or persuade, it is manipulation, "you're going to do what I want regardless of your personal opinions, your objections, or anything else. Because I'm a man and know what's right." The author is supporting lying, trickery, going behind your partners back, manipulation, objectifying a women, threatening, selfishness, and misogyny.
Quote:
Also, I've talked to my pastor about this- my father some as well. For Christians, a woman submits to her husband out of love. In doing so, she allows the Lord to work through him. Because, Biblically, a man is the head of the household. This does not mean he demeans her or demands immoral activities. If he does this, she is free to disagree and not obey. And it's not like she's not allowed to argue- a woman can argue all she wants. But she must have the wisdom of when to speak and when to stay silent, as do men.
|
First, submission is different than manipulation. Submission is something one chooses to do themselves. I think what you're describing is far removed for numerous reasons, some being quoted directly out of the author's article above. The Christian "Golden Rule", treat those how you want to be treated, seems to be in disagreement as well. I don't believe the Bible or God would condone the actions the author represents in this article.
While we probably disagree, and that's fine, about the subject of the role of a man and a women from a Biblical perspective I think there's a wide difference between submission, out of love and respect, than what the author suggests. The author objectifies woman, which I don't think should or is condoned by modern society.
Quote:
Perhaps the writer's word choices are a bit...harsh. But isn't he right in a way?
|
Sorry, I cannot agree. The writer's verbiage is objectifying of women, demeaning, deceitful, selfish, egotistic, and basically really wrong.
|