Most of my friends saw my passion for horses, as did I, and told me that I needed to do something with horses, or large animals, such as a large animal veterinarian. Seeing that I did want to be around horses, I started to think of myself as a veterinarian. My neighbor had a horse named Nemo, who I would ride whenever I had a chance. He became like a best friend to me, and was always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to. Whenever I went over to see him, I would feel a great sense of happiness and joy as I always knew that he would be there for me, as I was for him. We would go out for long rides together, just the two of us, and just enjoy the peacefulness of being able to be together as partners. We worked together, most of the time, and together we accomplished a bond that is hard for me to put into words. He helped me gain a sense of freedom that I never knew existed. He helped me become a more confident rider and a better horsewoman though his patience and caring. We nurtured each other as two close friends would do. After about seven or so months of this great relationship, Nemo foundered in all four hooves. Foundering is where the outer layer of the hoof starts to separate from the inner layers, and causes the horse to be in immense pain. Watching him go through this almost broke my heart, knowing that he was in this much pain, and I was not able to do anything for him. There were days when he seemed to be able to walk fine and there were other days when he would not take a single step, but if he had to, he would walk slowly, and you could tell that every step pained him. The feelings of grief were almost too much to bear and I was a mess while this whole ordeal was going on. Everyone learned fast that I was moody, and would lash out at anyone as I was just a mess emotionally. I had feelings that I had somewhat let him down, by not noticing that anything was wrong. I would go through feeling excited as he would show improvement one day, to feelings of deep depression and overwhelming sadness the next when he would start to show signs of pain again. I felt the loss of a best friend as I was with him every day whenever I could be, just to give him the comfort that I thought that he needed. Looking back, I realize that spending time with him was probably more for me, than it was for him, knowing that any day could be his last. My neighbor, Nemo's real owner, found out that the treatment that was necessary to somewhat cure Nemo was more than she could pay for, and she found someone who would take good care of him. I realized that even though we were not going to have to put him down because of the pain that he was in, that I was really going to have to say goodbye to this horse that I had fallen in love with. I met with the woman who was going to take him and I felt that she would really take care of him, but I really did not want to have to say good bye to this horse that I had grown to adore and love for who he was. When that day finally came, I went over to spend my last moments with him before she came to take him home. I could not bear the feelings of loss at loosing such a wonderful friend. I realized that if I could get this attached to Nemo, how I would feel if something happened to one of my patients if I did become a veterinarian. Sadly, I made the decision to on my own, because of my emotional attachment issues, and I turned down another path in my life, unsure of where I wanted to go.

http://i36.tinypic.com/10zd6vk.jpg
http://i33.tinypic.com/117xrt4.jpg