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Mind's Way
Eledure contemplated what it was he attempted. The creation of a being; this had always before remained the domain of gods. What he wished to do remained nothing more then a sacrilege, an afront to the very order of the universe, yet he would do it despite that... He would succeed. Nothing else would do.
Upon a sturdy wooden table at the very center of the cave, near where an underwater river ran, lay the essential components to bring about the body of this new being. Each part alone intrigued the senses, but together they would become an actual person, once the soul had been gathered. That last part would be he most difficult. Creating the body was a godlike task in itself, requiring the call of each element and cajoling powers stronger then Eledure to aid him in this task. He never asked them to work directly upon the creature, but indeed to help him weave power within himself. It was only once the thin, emaciated, man had gathered enough energy that he began his true work, the forging of another being. Soon, soon he would be recognized as a god upon earth and then perhaps he could accomplish his final goal, a thing passed down from master to student for centuries. Eledure's robes floated upon his frame, ruby red against skin which had barely ever seen the sun. Bright amethyst eyes watched every aspect of the spell weavings with care and concern. He didn't want this child of magic to suffer because of his own ineptitude. Now, he spread his mind out and away and called for scraps of people, the memories that lingered in places, the spirits who could go nowhere because they were broken, tired, and nothing more then the mere shadowy remnants of what they had once been. Those poor souls weren't even that anymore, just pieces of souls. He tried to choose pieces that would work together well as he spun them together, but Eledure wouldn't know how well his choosing had worked until his creation awoke. Frail fingers swept across a cheek, brushing against closed eyelids, before their owner shuffled back. His frame crumpled to the ground as the exhiliration of such magic ebbed away, leaving the long haired mage in a state of exhaustion. Even so, Eledure brushed long locks of clumped together white hair from his features to watch avidly for some sign of life coming from the body upon the table. |
Darkness was unbroken. It was like a black wall in front of him, with no depth, no form, nothing beyond just that sheer, thick darkness. But he liked the dark. No, no he didn't. The dark was frightening. No, it was friendly, hiding him from danger. But it also hid the danger. It was his friend, yet... why couldn’t he think of it as that, entirely? Then it broke, and overlapping visions pierced the blackness. Kind faces, angry faces, sweet and innocent faces, animals attacking, or placidly lying at his feet, beside him as he sat, as he laid, as he walked or rode. Smells that repulsed him but at the same time, enticed him, and he didn’t know what to do. He recoiled---it wasn’t physical, but inside he felt himself retreat into a shell that seemed too close to him, like he didn’t necessarily want to be in here. And names. What was his name? Orini...? Drenmer? Valen? Romlyn? Sevan...? There were so many... why did he have so many names...? Air forced its way into his lungs, and it became painful. Was he even breathing before? It hurt to expand his lungs, and that hurt had his eyes watering and his arms and legs tensing, lifting slightly off the hard surface he’d been lying on but hadn’t realized. The rush of water was nearby. Didn’t he like water? No, loved water, but was afraid of it... He felt as if he were born on the waves, but on dry land as well, as if two parts of him had come together. When he opened his eyes, they were almost blinded by whatever light was surrounding him, and something tickled his face. Dark hair...? But he had light hair, didn’t he? Or was it mixed? Mixed light and dark, as if he were born with it dark but age had taken to silvering it. Why couldn’t he remember anything specifically? There was a man above him, but he didn’t recognize the face. His eyes were so striking, though. Pretty gems, full of life. But he looked... ill. And what was that stranger? Human? The ruby-toned robes said he practiced some kind of magic... But what was he? Human? Dark elf? High elf? Some type of... mix? He couldn’t recall anything about the world, as if he were an infant stuffed full of memories he couldn’t understand. “Negggh....” The first sound he uttered was of half pain, half curious fear. “Wha... Haa...? Wh...o...?” When he tried to move more, he became dizzy and the man’s face and the rough ceiling above spun, and he had to close his eyes to fight off nausea. This pale, white-haired man had to know who he was, right? Maybe he'd be able to find what memories were his, and his alone... He felt... so confused. It still hurt so much to breathe... |
He forced himself up, to move and bend over the awakening being, first now coming into the world by his hand. Slender fingers moved to check the heartbeat before the mage spoke in his soft voice. Eledure had never spoken too loudly, there was no need in these caves his people had called home, home after their lands had been stolen away. The human mage smiled, trying to reassure the being he'd brought into the world with the expression.
"I am Eledure, your creator. Though that is neither here nor there. How are you feeling, does anything hurt? Can you see, smell, feel?" Experimentally, he poked a finger against soft skin and watched to see if that would garner some reaction. He hoped there was nothing wrong with the being, this new life. In truth Eledure was a rather soft hearted fellow, and causing anyone pain made him cringe inwardly... even tough the magic he so often had been taught had been crafted for just such a purpose. The mages of the caverns, of the red robes, they were killers, not creators. Eledure needed to be strong for his people, so they could reclaim what they had lost, even so he had wanted to create for once, and snatched up he excuse of demonstrating his abilities in order to do so. Create he had, but what if the being was flawed somehow, and in consequence constantly in pain by his fault, for his mistakes? Eledure couldn't bear the thought. |
Feel...? Of course he could feel! He tried to tell the stranger with white hair, but only squeaked in a combination of surprise and discomfort when something poked into his side. What was it...? He couldn't move, focus enough to see what it was, but it seemed to have vanished. "C-ca-an... s-sssee..." He wanted to respond entirely. Like anyone with a sense of language. "E-El... Ele... dure. Y-y-you... created...? Me...?" It took such a great amount of effort to pull a full sentence out of his head. "Wh...what...? What am... I?" He couldn't lift his weak arms to feel his ears, his face, his hair. Was he even a human, or was he some... animal? He knew there were some feline and canine-like people out there, he remembered seeing them... didn't he? Why did he know about them if he'd never seen them before? Though his arms shook, he tried to push himself up and managed to get onto his elbows. But his eyes were still too unfocused to see anything greater than just a few feet away from him. "How... d-did I...?" He shook his head, breathing in though it hurt to do so. "H-how did I get... here? Wh... who am I?" He looked pleadingly to the one that called himself his 'creator'. "How...? How did... d-did you... make me?" Did he make his whole body? Did Eledure give him a name? "What... is my n-name?" Please... He would have said it if he could. What was his name? He wanted a name, to be on some kind of solid ground and not be so... confused. So detached. So scattered, as if he were everywhere, but nowhere. |
The mage hated to see the being struggle so. With his frail hands the mage moved to help his creation sit upright. Such a halting kind of speech, such a struggle simply to sit .. Had he done wrong in doing this? The eyes of the one he'd created bore into Eledure's heart and soul in a way that made the mage hate himself for what he'd done. "I created your body with the essence of each limb, gathered from corpses." The people had already been dead, abandoned by everyone. "And I also used other things, things from nature, from animals to try and ... give you their gifts, the things they stood for. I do not know if it did you harm or good."
He needed to take a moment to send ill thoughts of himself to the side. This being, his creation, wanted to know how he had been formed, and so he would. "To create your soul I called the lost fragments, the abandoned memories. I tried to only take those which would mesh together well ..." Eledure trailed off as he looked at the dark haired being before him. "A name, yes of course, you do deserve one. Would Kane suit you?" |
When he was finally upright, he looked at himself. Put together from... corpses? The dead? He was mostly naked, save a pair of ragged old trousers that seemed to have been put on him to preserve at least a little modesty, probably scavenged from an old pile to be used, hopefully, temporarily. But if he were simply sewn together, he couldn't tell. No seams could be seen---perhaps they'd been sealed completely using Eledure's magic. The same magic that had given him a form of life. This was life, wasn't it? He could feel a heart in him, beating. Abandoned memories...? From these people he was made of? Was that why he couldn't settle on one idea, one concept of something? Were these people so utterly diverse? He could feel the memories roiling in the back of his head, trying to fight for dominance, as if attempting to organize themselves or gain dominance in more common, related emotions, feelings. He felt... angry. Angry that someone would defile someone else, the dead no less! To create some abomination. And that's what he was. An abomination. Now he felt sad, broken. Utterly depressed, and he breathed in hard to stop his eyes from brimming and overrunning with tears. Then a word. "K-Kane...?" He looked up, at his creator. A man that only wanted to give life... If it weren't for him, he wouldn't have life. A name. Even if it was a bit of a labyrinthine type of existence already. "I like it." He nodded, and studied the man a little more. Eledure. He looked so... sad... Was that sadness? Or doubt? Maybe both. Kane, a name he liked. He reached out, shaking a bit, but gradually feeling a bit more steady, and gook the man's pale hand. "Th-t... Ahem, thank you." What else could he say? This was his creation. A god... |
He was being thanked? Eledure's hand wrapped around Kane's as tightly as it could, which admittedly wasn't much. "No, the thanks should come from me. I'm glad to have been able to give a life, for once." Instead of taking so many, always shedding blood with words and mage craft ... This time he had given, not destroyed and that warmed his heart as much as the thanks. It helped ease some of the mage's self-hatred to know he could actually do this, create and perhaps heal.
"Are you feeling better now, steadier?" This new man's shaking seemed to have eased some. His speech was improving as well. Perhaps it had been the shock of coming into the world, unprepared as a newborn babe, for indeed Kane had been born from death. A sad beginning for anyone, but at the same time it made the lives lost to war ... it made them have meaning somehow. |
Kane made sure to nod, and managed to swing his legs over the table's edge. He swung them a bit, finding them a bit loose, as if they were a little weak still, but he was sure he could walk on them without their buckling and sending him to the floor. Still, Kane preferred to look at his creator. Just a few minutes ago he had no life. No thought, or feeling. Now... If it weren't for Eledure, Kane wouldn't exist at all. He'd never be able to experience life in reality, rather than sorting through memories. But these memories... so conflicting... He pushed them aside for now, jumping to the floor... ... and falling immediately. "Agh...!" The surprise came from the sharp pain that exploded in his knee when it hit the rough stone ground. "Ow..." He sat, rubbing his knee and feeling the warmth of blood trickle down his leg. "I... I guess I s-shouldn't have done th-that." He tried laughing a little to play off the shock of having fallen so quickly, harming himself. Was he that reckless and clumsy? He didn't want his creator feeling he'd made a mistake...! He wanted to live, didn't want to be put aside as some useless contraption... Would that happen? No. No. Kane wouldn't let that happen. He'd make sure he did everything right. He looked up to his creator's kind face. So young... but he had to take care of himself... "I'm sorry..." He muttered forlornly. |
He should have been ready to catch Kane the moment he knew the new being was going to jump. Eledure wasn't nearly quick enough, and could only watch as the newborn fell to the ground. Wincing, the mage crouched down and let his slender hands trail over the wound, to heal it closed with not a trace of harm.
Sharp features softened into a smile. "There's no need to apologize, you just don't know how to use your limbs yet. " So much, there was so much still to teach Kane, and he didn't know if he would have the time to. The others, trained since childhood since he had been, were searching for Eledure. This dream, to create and not destroy, had made the mage turn his back on everything and everyone. His people were hunting him, and their ennemies would kill him on sight, and yet it had all been worth it. |
The pain vanished so quickly, it was as if it were only a memory. A new memory to so many others, but for now, he couldn't contemplate them all. Some were of what he assumed to be animal companions, big and small, and in others, he was a hunter. How many memories did he have, and from how many people? Did they really create a... soul? Was he a real living being, and not some puppet held together by wishful thinking and a few magic words? Kane put his legs under him, managing to lift his frame a little. "I'd like to learn... how to walk..." Maybe he'd learn quickly? Or maybe he was just as intelligent as a child. But if that were the case, would he not have known how to speak? Maybe it was the physical side of life he had to recall. After all, being made of... other people... did make for weak limbs when coming out of whatever type of death he'd been in. That only made to form questions in Kane's mind, though. Was he really an individual? Or was he just a culmination of those people? All those memories, feelings, emotions, likes and dislikes, were they not him at all? He regarded Eledure pleadingly. |
The mage knew something was wrong. He had failed this being he'd created, in doing something wrong and making him flawed. It was those eyes, always pleading and silently demanding answers which made the mage think that. What else could those eyes have to say, when their owner was so new to the world, and yet within were memories not his own? As firmly as he could, Eledure shifted his body to lift up Kane, and help the newborn take a few steps.
It was hard. Eledure hadn't eaten well enough for weeks, he'd been preparing for Kane's creation, putting aside all the scraps of food he could find for the new being. Even so, he gave all the support he could, making his body into a crutch for his creation. This was right, using himself to push someone else up. He had done so much wrong, so this was the right he could make from that. His creation, his Kane ... He would teach him the good in the world, to cherish it. |
Kane's legs wobbled dangerously under him even with a more firm hand guiding him. But he managed to take a step, and another, though it took a great amount of effort and made him huff in exhaustion very quickly. He had the memories of running and jumping and swinging from ropes in trees, hefting large bags and dead animals for butcher. Could he really do that still...? Probably not, he was made from others that weren't only hunters. Probably scholars as well, farmers, stable hands. After half a dozen steps, Kane stopped and gasped, catching himself as he sat on the ground and massaged his legs. "I'm so tired... I-it's hard to walk." If he could just find a soft place, he could collapse and sleep, and perhaps, feel better---stronger---when he woke up. Maybe he'd be able to understand all these thoughts and feelings after that. A feeling of attachment, tempered with resentment, but only just, and fear, curiosity, worry. Desperation... He looked around, past Eledure, and spotted a soft place. It just looked like a bunching of clothes and cut-up cloth, but it was so inviting all the same. Kane pulled himself onto his hands and knees, crawling to the edge and collapsing, and regarding his creator. Suddenly he was terrified of being alone, and that emotion dominated all others. He reached forward, shaking a little and letting his hand fall. "D-don't leave me please." He would have stayed awake a moment longer if he could, but his eyes closed as soon as he spoke. His dreams were confusing mixtures, dark and light, and made him twitch. |
Kane was also very new to walking, to moving, at all. He would need some time to build up muscle and stamina. The mage followed his creation with soft steps, then crouched down beside him. "I won't leave."
Eledure gathered up Kane's hand in his own and felt his own eyelids drooping. It had been exhausting, calling up all the energies needed to create the man curled up beside him. Careless of damp, of hard rock, he felt himself crumple to the floor. At last he could sleep, tomorrow he could fill his stomach and rest. |
His mind wouldn’t rest. It continued to play scenes like pictures, played and played again, different every time. Snippets like books torn apart and randomly stitched back together page by page, seamlessly blending to one another but nonsensical, as if the stories didn’t go anywhere, and ended right when they were beginning to make a little sense. He was told names, names of the owners of these memories. He learned names, names of lovers, writers, pets, children, enemies, towns he didn’t recall. Tastes conflicted. Did he like snowberries, or did he hate them? Did he enjoy the cold, or was it frigid and uncomfortable? He woke feeling conflicted as well, and still tired. But there was a warmth around his right hand, and when he opened his eyes, Kane smiled to see his creator, Eledure, lying beside him, but on the stony floor. Carefully, and with a little more strength than he had before, Kane picked up one of the covers below him and slid it over Eledure, and curled up against him, lending his own heat. |
He shivered and moaned slightly in his sleep, monsters of other planes haunting his dreams, demanding the blood he had not shed. The promises Eledure had made to them had been fulfilled long ago, and yet they still hungered for what he had once given them. Not today, and nevermore. A rough bought of coughs ripped the slumbering mage from his unconsciousness.
Only the warmth of his creation, huddled tight against him, helped to calm Eledure's fast beating heart. Reflexively, he wrapped his arms tight around Kane, seeking what comfort he could from the shared closeness. It had been a welcome surprise to wake with the new being so close. Some thoughts were eased by it as well, and fears began to ebb, He didn't think Kane would want to be close to him, if he hated his creator. |
Kane had drifted off again, and this time he found more peace in his sleep. With the source of life so near him now, it felt as if he were in a safe place, and indeed, he was. The young man had turned to face his maker, and curled up against him, pressing as close as he could and burrowing his face into the man's thin chest and disliking just how thin he was. He glanced up, finding Eledure awake. "You should take care of yourself." He muttered. "Should make sure you're okay..." What if something happened to Eledure? And so soon? Then Kane would be alone in a world he didn't understand... He didn't even know what was out there. Trees. A city. Oceans. Cliffs, the sky, castles and caves and strange things he couldn't place... He sat up, feeling the worry try to crawl into his mouth, and shaking his head, it sent Kane's hair going wild. Then he remembered something. "I... want to see myself." He had no idea what he looked like! Did he look normal? Would he be able to see others without them screaming and running away in terror? |
He smiled softly at the unexpected concern. "Now that you're here I'll be able to take better care of myself. Your creation took much preparation, and I fear I neglected myself, but that is something I am used to."
Of course Kane wanted to know his seeming. That alone had taken a good amount of thinking and careful planning. No scars, no extra skin, no extra fat, making sure each limb was in proportion and of the same color as the next ... Magic had helped make sure that every piece of Kane's body looked like they belonged there, together. "I'll be gone but a few moments, stay here." Laboriously, the mage lifted himself from the floor without sparing a glance for the blanket so carefull placed over him by his creation. He moved to a sturdy wood chest near an opening in the cavern's wall, and rummaged inside for a few moments. The mage could tell with a glance at the mirror why his appearance had made Kane worry. He was a wreck, and showing the ways of the world to someone like his new creation seemed like a near impossible thing for one in such a sorry state. Metal mirror in hand, glassy silver surface catching the mage light now and then, Eledure retraced his steps to kneel by Kane's side. Wordlessly, he held out the item, and waited to see if his creation would approve of the shell his soul now rested in. |
Kane watched Eledure stand worriedly. No one so young should struggle so hard with the simple movement of standing. Of course he was hardly the one to speak, having fallen and grown utterly exhausted while taking just a few steps. But now, now Eledure, his master, his creator, his god, could be well on his way to feeling better, looking better, looking like he might have before this pale, sullen appearance overrun him. He eagerly took the mirror when it was handed to him, and studied himself. Hair that was dark as night, like a raven's feathers. It seemed to have a real body to it and stood a little before sliding down his head, and stopping just above his shoulders. Where he might have been put together, he saw no scars, not even a minute difference in skin tone, which was lightly bronzed, as if he---that is, the owner of these previous bodies---had spent much time in the sun. And his eyes were big, but not too big, expressive. They showed his intrigue, his curiosity. They shined a pale brownish around the edges, and a gold starburst exploded from the irises. They widened when he stared at himself. His teeth... pale white, straight, as if manually having been put in one by one. Were they...? He didn't care. He studied himself more. A well-proportioned body. No one could simply be born so specifically perfect, could they...? Was this Eledure's doing? He looked up to his creator. Obviously the man had neglected himself in favor of making Kane. Making him as utterly perfect as possible. "You... you did so well." He didn't know what to say, really. To compliment the man on how he was? Was that a form of narcissism? He didn't care, Kane was... perfect. "I love... my look." There it was again, that... resignation. That feeling that he shouldn't say such things about himself. |
He was glad, the emotion making his heart swell up with pride and joy. To hear Kane, how much he liked his appearance, oh what a wonderful thing! Though Eledure couldn't help but spend a moment in worry about conceit, though the tone of voice used helped reassure him on that. "I'm so happy you approve." If he'd heard anything else, Kane would have been devastated.
"I was worried you wouldn't." He'd not only worried, but fretted and drove himself to exhaustion trying to make everything just right. Eledure fidgeted, fingers wringing the sleeves of his robes time and again. There would be no easy fixes if there was something about himself that Kane disliked. |
Carefully, Kane set down the mirror and got onto his knees, using the wall nearby as a sturdy helper to stand up. The room swayed dangerously for a moment, but it settled down when he closed his eyes and looked at his feet, then back up to his creator. He took a step on his own, feeling wonderfully strong now despite tremors that spanned his legs, but Kane made it to Eledure and grasped his shoulders to keep himself up. "Why wouldn't I? You took so much time... you gave me life... I think it'd be... be, um... ungrateful. Ungrateful to pick at mistakes or... or anything I don't like." His voice still trembled a little, and it took a minute, sometimes, to find the right words. But he felt confident that he'd work through it. He'd be able to walk on his own, feel more energetic, be able to speak. Maybe he'd be able to control the emotions that came at him from nowhere, that sudden and overwhelming urge to cry. Why did he want to cry? He couldn't stop questioning it, but couldn't fight back the tears that streamed out of his eyes. "I wouldn't know y-you if it weren't for this body." He sobbed. "It's wonderful... Even if something were wrong with it, I could... I could get over that because I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you." He sniffed hard, and pressed his forehead against Eledure's chest. These... odd emotions, coming down on him at once, they just felt as if they were mixing and fighting for dominance. |
He moved automatically to wrap his less then powerful arms around the man he'd brought into the world. Knowing what to say evaded the mage's mind, no matter how he reached for the words. Instead Eledure took a few moments to bask in the warmth of being so near another person, though in a way the man he'd created wasn't quite human. The mage had tried to give Kane the means to defend himself against magic, and senses better able to perceive things then most. Whether or not these additions had been a success remained to be seen.
"This is such an odd situation... I hadn't thought of what lay beyond creating you, not past feeding and giving you shelter. That was a sore mistake on my part." How would they live? Eledure was a wanted man after all, and he simply couldn't think of something separating him from Kane, not before the creation had enough knowledge of the world at large to take care of himself. |
Kane smiled, feeling the tears dry as the inexplicable sadness faded too quickly to be normal. “It’s okay.” He said, a sense of love welling in his heart. “I’ll learn. Help you.” He pulled his head back, regarding Eledure’s pale face lovingly. “It looks like... like you’ve been alone so long... I won’t leave you when I learn everything I need. I’ll help you find food. And... e-even a better home. We can find a nice place. Maybe in the woods. So quiet, and alone... I... I’d like to be alone with you. In the woods.”
Kane couldn’t place the origin of this sudden shift, from broken sadness to weak-kneed adoration. He wasn’t really thinking about that, so much as keeping himself standing by holding onto Eledure around the neck, just enough so it wouldn’t strain him. Why did he feel so strongly so suddenly? This was his creator. A god among men. He shouldn’t... But Kane couldn’t think about anything else. |
Unexpectedly a blush swept across the mage's cheeks. The look in Kane's eyes, switching from sorrowful to something entirely different, it was quite unexpected. Eledure wasn't used to such attention from anyone. Of course he'd done his duty by the maids of the temple, but none of them had ever looked at him with anything more then scorn, or pure lust. There never were any who showed any interest in him as a man, only as a mage had he ever been wanted.
"Uhm, uh," hesitating, the mage's hands slipped to Kane's arms to try and pry them from his neck gently. "Let us not get ahead of the situation. First you need to build up strength so you can walk steadily out of these caverns." Then it would indeed be into the forest, and then straight into the arms of a different danger then the mage's people unless they took different route. He needed to think over that. |
He didn't want to let go! The way Eledure reacted almost broke his heart. Did he not love Kane? Was Kane really just a failure? Was Eledure just dragging himself through the motions until he could get rid of his failure of a creation? Kane regarded his master with misty eyes, until the feeling ebbed a little and logical thought set in. Of course not... He was just being too forceful. Too forward. Did Kane himself really feel so strongly toward Eledure? No, it had to be his erratic emotional structure. Kane nodded to himself, and looked back up to Eledure. He was just a little shorter than his creator. "I'm sorry..." He muttered. "I didn't... I mean, I don't know what came over me. I-I don't know if I... If I'd do that... normally." He breathed in deeply, staring at his bare feet, which he hadn't realized were cold standing on the bare cavern stone. "Um... Do you have some heavier clothes?" He brought up his arms, hugging himself. Wearing only a pair of ragged old pants was chilling him greatly. Kane hadn't realized how cool it was in the place. "Maybe some shoes?" Hopefully Eledure wouldn't think he was asking too much. If Kane came off as too needy... |
Eledure shook his head. "Oh Kane, you did nothing wrong. You see, no one has ever looked at me with such emotions in their eyes before." It had been so odd, and then he'd gone and shattered the moment with his uncertain actions. Surely he could somehow show Kane just what a gift such a glance had been, and how it had made the mage's heart soar.
Later, he would show Kane later. Turning away, he moved to the iron bound chest once more and plucked warm clothing and shoes from the box once more. These he brought to his creation and placed into the dark haired man's arms. "These should do for now, though they might not fit perfectly." |
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