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Polygamy
What're your thoughts on polygamy?
If you're unsure about what polygamy is, it is the practice of having more than one wife or husband at a time. This isn't "cheating" on your wife/husband. It's when you're actually married and have more than one spouse. For me personally, I don't agree or disagree with it, it just depends on what you want in a relationship. So for example, I could never myself share one husband with possibly several other women. I just think that in a relationship I want total commitment. Not a commitment with the exception if 3 other women or what have you. Not to mention when jealousy comes into play. There's a show based around this lifestyle called "Sister Wives", some of you may know. The show basically is just a reality show that shows what it's like in the life of polygamy and such. I was watching it once, and some of the wives of one man kept getting jealous over him spending time with one of the other wives (quite a mouthful I know). When watching this particular episode, I was thinking to myself, why are they all getting jealous in the first place. You wanted to have the polygamous lifestyle, what did you expect? So tell me what you think. [:)] |
Be honest. Be respectful. Don't cross the boundaries agreed upon by yourself and your partner/s. You're golden.
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Pretty much what Dystopia said. If I don't know about it or they have to "hide" it from me then it's dishonest and I'd get upset over it. I do believe that sometimes people have more than one life partner so I don't think that everyone has to be monogamous, I just don't think that in a relationship anyone should lie and hide stuff from their partner/partners. It does not work for everyone but for those it does work for, I see nothing wrong with it.
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I live in a country where polygamy is culturally accepted since it's Muslim but it's actually rarer than people think. I don't see an issue with it as long as all parties involved are fully aware of the arrangement and 100% agree to it. All parties should be fully committed to one another as well. My aunt found out my her husband was married to another woman for 10 years without her knowledge. That caused a lot of issues.
But like I said, it's pretty rare because even religion-wise, there are guidelines requiring all parties to want to be in the relationship and that they are able to fully commit. It's exactly the same as if you're in a two-person relationship. It's just more hassle since you have more relationships to work on and put effort into. |
First of all, I am polyamorous - which is related but not 100% the same. Polyamory is, for those unaware, the romantic behavior that leads to polygamy, open relationships, and so on and so forth.
I can't count myself as being polygamous because all of my relationships are open. I don't have a harem; I have multiple people with whom I could be considered to be in a more than platonic relationship, and here's the important distinction - they're also allowed to find others. I find it offers me a lot more freedom than the rigid ideals of monogamy did. It means that my behavior and the way I show affection to others is defined by our personal comfort levels rather than arbitrary labels like "partners" and "JUST FRIENDS REALLY" - because no one is going to get offended if, say, I kiss someone other than them. Cheating isn't a problem in any of my relationships because all we have to do is be safe and honest and we're fine. It's pretty awesome. But, there are ways that it can be imperfect. It can be a little bit distressing if you're not someone's primary partner when you really wish you could be, especially if you went in with the expectation that there wouldn't be a primary/secondary structure. But that's just the same kind of disappointment you'd feel if someone you had a crush on didn't like you back. It's a pretty normal part of life. Though in a lot of cases that feeling is a lot less intense because, hey, at least you're doing a whole hell of a lot better than total rejection. Or in some cases it's worse because it feels like the universe is teasing you by giving you only crumbs of a delicious cake it's holding just out of your reach. Whatever the case, hey, you do what's best for you. |
I personally myself would never do it. Nor would I feel comfortable with the feeling of "sharing" my partner with someone else. To me that is just absolutely the most uncomfortable feeling I could think of occurring in a romantic life for me.
But all in all, I'm against it for myself. For others? Go for it. If it works, great. |
I personally will probably never be in a polygamous relationship. But I think it would work best if everyone involved had romantic feelings for each other.
My mom loves the show Sister Wives, so I've seen a good deal of episodes. The adults on the show annoy me, and I have always had issue with how polygamy is traditionally done. But I respect their decision of adults to live the polygamous lifestyle. Overall Cody and his wives seem to make it work. |
Basically what everyone else has said: As long as it's all consensual, everyone in the relationship happy with it, I don't see why it's the business of anyone else.
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As I have got older over the years I have had opinions on many things, and I know what I think or my own morals for myself. But if what someone else, or others are doing do not harm people or my selves, I really couldn't care what they do, and have the right to what they blooming he'll want I guess, like people who,want to marry trees, I understand why it may offend people that are strict about the views of marriage, but hey if someone wants to hug a tree, it's not effecting me in the slightest... And hey apart from splinters there's no std or sti's right? But I digress... But me personally i am married, and heck having two wives! The stress alone would kill me... Before I was married having multiple partners at the same time, they were casual relationships, nothing like a married relationship should be were you are completely devoted to each other, I would see how in my case I could devote myself in that way to another person? Also a lot of the time it is a male who has multiple wives rarely a woman who has multiple husbands... Makes you think it is a chauvinistic philosophy?
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I kinda don't understand how polygamy can work... I mean I know there are always exceptions, but aren't we a naturally jealous species? Quantum Angel's situation makes much more sense to me, where each individual is allowed to be involved with whoever else they want, without total commitment to anyone. It just seems exhausting to me, to be sure that both of your partners are happy (and yourself, of course), and that jealousy is kept to a minimum, or even virtually eliminated. I mean, to me, a traditional 2-person relationship creates enough conflict... how the heck do 3+ marriages work?
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I'm not against polygamy, maybe in a few years no one could get married unless by polygamy (because it is predicted that the women population is increasing and soon it will outsmart the men population) but I don't want to be a.. 'victim'? of it. I'm naturally quite jealous, I'm even jealous when my best friend speaks to another person, so how will I be able to live if my husband is having multiple wives? And I don't think I'll never have more than one husband (if I do get). And I personally don't think that polygamy relationships work real good, especially for a man who has many wives, because, as fade_to_grey pointed above, humans really ARE a jealous species.
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