Weirdest Conversations with...
 

your mom, dad, sister, brother, significant other, friend...etc.

Like the other day, I had this weird conversation with my boyfriend about how much we disliked real action Japenese porn like it was nothing and then after I was all, "Why the hell did we talk about that." And thus I was weirded out by myself for the rest of the night.

Practically every conversation I have with my friends turns very strange very quickly...

Probably the most memorable one, though, was this one that revolved around an imaginary plan to defeat aliens by chopping them up in a giant meat grinder, killing cows and stuffing the alien bodies inside, and then selling the dead cows to McDonald's. Somewhere in there there was also something about infiltrating the White House and having one of my friends disguise herself as Obama, but I can't quite recall how that fit in.

One night we also invented a religion called Frappuchinoism that, as the name suggests, revolved around worshiping the god of frappuchinos. It also involved drinking frappuchinos every night and sacrificing some of them in the middle of a corn field.

Holy crap you're like, my new favorite person right now because that just made my entire weekend. [poke]

My friend and I were talking about our boyfriends and we randomly started talking about them in a full on Juicy Couture velour suit. I don't know how we got onto that subject, but we both concluded they'd look better in it than we would... lol

I cringed.

My therapist was telling me about a book she read where a man puts an IV in his balls and watches them swell up, and where people dress up in Godzilla gloves and masturbate to Godzilla movies (this prompted me to Google it when I got home).

You are a very brave person to type that into Google. People are into some weird stuff, wow. How far did you get into your Google search before you decided that was enough?

Weird conversations.... hhhmmmmm.....

Most of them revolve around dreams, where some super weird stuff happens. My girlfriend told me she had a dream where a few of our friends were living a video games. We got trapped in a dungeon and fell into some traps. Then once we got out of the trap out friend had a parasite up his penis. Then he asked an attractive lady in the town if she could help him remove it.

Probably the hardest I have laughed after she told me about that dream.

Rule 34 of the Internet: if it exists, there is porn of it. Do you now realize why I clear my history every few hours? XD

When I was a high school student I'd sometimes talk about random stuff with my friend because we both knew there were people eavesdropping on us...and then one time I said during one of these conversations, "You know, people have the strangest conversations when they know that people are eavesdropping on them." The eavesdropping people looked away. [XD]

Now I'm curious about the jellyfish sex. :I

My mom has ALWAYS been like anti sex and stuff. Like for as long as i can remember its always been really REALLY bad and if we talked about it, looked at ANYTHING sexual (little mermaid...) or even thought about it she would KNOW and then we would be in BIG trouble. She is super ultra orthodox christian. Like over the top nearly west baptist crazy... well not THAT bad.. But close enough. Anyway as i grew up talking about that stuff was just so off limits that we were scared of our sexuality and always really worried that our mom was gonna find out we liked a boy or did anything remotely sexual with anyone.. So after years of this i kinda chalked it up to NEVER talk to her about it EVER not ever. And i mean EVER.

Imagine my shock when my mom started talking to me about my sexual encounters with my husband... OUT OF THE BLUE. I nearly pissed myself and spewed Arizona Tea all over her car. Seriously! I was like umm.. What? And she kinda just started this whol thing about sex being over rated and how happy she is now that she is divorced from my step dad of 22 years and how her new husband is a roomate and that she is so much happier. She said that i looked unhappy and asked if we still have sex and stuff and i was like yea.. but after 14 years and 4 kids... Things are not what they first were! She gave me some books and i shook my head lol.. as i got out to go home she said well if you ever wanna talk about it i am here for you... I was like the robot on Astro boy... "I am so freaked out right now!"

She had a like conversation with my sister who is 28 and my sister called me and was like OMG you wont beleive what mom just talked to me about!!! :O And i was like...s e x .... ? And she said HOW DID YOU KNOW!? I was like idk.. she must be dying or something because she spent the entire car ride home talking to ME about sex! We sat there in stunned silence just like... absorbing... It was so wierd.

Now i see posts on her FB to my brother about triple bagging his junk so he doesnt get aids and die... We all kind of just sit and stare i know it... lol...

... uh... *slowly backs out of thread*

I'm awful at pillow talk. The boyf and I will be all cuddly and then suddenly, somehow, I'm talking about how tragic Van Gogh was, which then leads to an explanation of what absinthe does to the brain. Another time I just suddenly started talking about Pokemon. I'm really bad at being romantic.

(I know you don't have a brother, but) Do you have a brother? Cos that sounds ideal to me. Though I don't know much about pokemon. Would talk about the parallels I see between the Tea Ceremony in Japan and the European preparation of Absinthe in the 19th century though...

I had a kind-of argument with OnYourGoat the other day about whether or not I'm a real zombie...

Was at it with a guy. He wanted me to talk dirty and I had no idea what to say. He told me to tell him what I wanted to do to him or him to me, so I start going step by step and he says "it's not a laundry list". It sounded really awkward when I do it, so now I just try to keep him busy so I don't have to say anything.

My brother and I when we get into his car on a trip we always have strange talks.
We act like when where were kids and our conversations get very strange. Add adult sexual conversations about relationships it gets very strange lol! Our rule is to never talk about depressing things since we both are extremely depressed people.
Our latest conversation started with weird co-worker nicknames (things I cannot say on this site lol!), aliens pretending to be gods, and adventure time all in one hour lol!

Nearly every conversation I have with my sister - deep or not - ends up being about poop, butts, or some crazy scenario.
One in particular comes to mind - We were talking in stupid accents, saying Snoop Dog wanted to eat Snoopy.
Good times!