This phenomenal world, the stuff we can see and hear and touch, is just the tip of an infinite iceberg of reality.

Energy can't be destroyed, and everything is energy.

Just because a car rusts away and breaks down doesn't mean the driver does, and just because bodies fail us and fall apart doesn't mean that we die.

I think of it as being like an avatar site or an MMO. You sign up, get a character, and whether you like your character or not, you play the game with everyone else. Some people cancel their accounts and sign up again to get a cooler character, or try to, some people troll and just try to trash the game, and some get really good at it all and master it.

But either way, it's virtual. Outside the game we have our real lives. We might meet up in-game, or outside the game, and we might not even know it's our best friend from last year that we're playing with right now.

That's actually what makes it worth playing. The chance for surprises and adventures, and never really knowing what's next.

Enjoy the game while it lasts, and when it's over you might play another one, or just hang out with friends, but either way, it's here to be played, and that implies enjoying it. Never let the loss of a team member ruin the whole adventure for you, they wouldn't want that.

And if life outside the game gets boring, well, you can always sign up for a new account. Maybe it's just so fun that nobody wants to leave. Either way, this isn't all there is to us.

Infinite means INFINITE.

Well now I'm pretty sure I know where you're from. [:D] It's okay, I promise not to stalk you.

llonka: that's a lot of death all at once. It gets to anyone.

I actually had a decent weekend. Even though it means I'm going to have a lot of grading during the week.

You know I've been contemplating this thought more and more, and I thought maybe I just had a bad day or something...but it seems every couple of days this same question crops up. It's a valid question. You'd think, though, if it was a Matrix like existence we would pick something cooler for ourselves to do in the virtual world...

Also sorry for your loss. :( I understand though when you lose someone that young it starts yourself questioning your mortality and life in general. Perhaps taking a day off class and going to her funeral is what you need for closure.

I also subscribe to the thought that the body is just a vessel and the soul survives it. I don't know if I believe in a heaven, but I think reincarnation is a very possible thing...

I'm not afraid to talk about sad things. Most people are.

Nobody likes it when people talk about their problems, but then when they're feeling down it seems like they're all alone, and it just makes it worse for everyone.

As far as I can tell, if I have a real job at all in this life, it's to be a friend. You can talk with me about anything, and I'll listen.

Here's a cool secret about reality: people say it's real or an illusion, but they don't know what that means. Reality and unreality are words. We made them up and we use them, but that doesn't mean they really mean anything except in the context of describing things. And describing things is what makes them seem real. We can say that this is a drop of water, that's a lake, look, it's raining, here's the ocean, but it's all water. Reality is the same way. It's all the same thing, really. Even our concepts of what a thing is, it's still sort of flawed, because none of this world we live in is actually a thing. It's a happening, an event. Even science is slowly starting to admit it.

Even imaginary things are real.

And even real things are imaginary. It's all a matter of context.

Sometimes, if you sit quietly and listen, and look, and feel, without describing anything to yourself or thinking about things with words, you can see it. We're the ones who define everything, we name things and describe and judge and decide. But we don't have to do it constantly.

Even a few seconds of witnessing undifferentiated life can change us for the better, and keep us going for a lifetime. Even the least little thing like a blade of grass contains the whole universe, and it's all beautiful. I live in awe of it, and that's way cooler to me than taking it all for granted or thinking I'm in charge of any of it or anything.

The fact that any of this is here, even if it was all just some cosmic accident, and even if there's nobody running it all, well, it's a miracle. We just don't always realize or feel it, because we're so used to it, the way a fish probably never thinks about water.

Doesn't change the fact that it's really mind-blowing to consider the implications of it all. Infinity. We have no real concept of it, and it's an eternal mystery, and that's the coolest thing ever. A drop of water, a leaf, an ash tray, a dog or cat, it's all part of a beautiful, infinite mystery.

I feel bad for people who go around thinking it's all just a big pile of crap and dirt and worthless, meaningless junk. I really do.

Very deep, Berks. Very deep.

@llonka - I get it, hun. Really I do. [hug] You want to keep this outward appearance of having everything in place and whatnot. There are most people in life that I were to open up and tell them all the screwed up things in my life they'd do one of two things - either want to avoid me as I'm a super depressed/anxious individual who just brings them down, or they'll either want to take an uncomfortable approach when talking about it...meaning they want to either solve it for me, or outdo me on how screwed up their life really is. Sometimes I just want someone to listen, you know?

I find this forum has always been a haven for me in some of my more difficult times in life. When I really feel like no one cares, or more likely they're too wrapped in their own drama to care....I feel like I have my virtual friends and my little hiding spots I can come and let it all rip...cleanse as of sorts.

The older I get too, I'm finding other ways to find enjoyment out of life and more with the flow. I mean it's one of those things that I just had to slowly come to awareness of. I use to beat myself up relentlessly about being a failure...but it really is on how you define failure...

Ahhh now I'm rambling...sorry.... D:

I'm in fairly good spirits tonight. I've picked up a new hobby, got back into an old one...and I'm finding balance in my life. I'm hoping things stay this calm for some time. i'm enjoying it.

Awwww cute kitten story! :) I'm so glad it didn't get hurt. One of mom's cats did the same thing during the winter and was lucky enough only to break his leg. We were able to set it at home with the help of a friend and he fully recovered. My mom was so upset though and in tears over it. I'm glad that we were able to fix him up.

Cats like to crawl up into the car like that to stay warm. :( It's a scary thought as I would be devastated if it got hurt when I started the vehicle up.

Maybe little Chevy is a sign? I received my last cat, Chuck, through some weird circumstances and I definitely think he was sent to help me through that rough patch. When we tried to rehome him, too, he walked all the way across town back to us. He went missing for a week...I thought he was dead...but then he showed up a week later on my porch. I was absolutely shocked. Needless to say we're stuck with him now.

Funny thing is last night Chuck bolted out the door when letting the dog back in. I had to chase him a couple houses down and bring him back in.

I wish I had more time to be here for you guys more. Life has just been so busy lately. *hugs* Just know that you guys are all in my thoughts. And I'm so happy for you Izumi. And I'm so glad your sister agreed to a place you like, Amane!

Hahahaha, hooray! Yeah, it's progress report time again, so I should be working, but I'm exhausted.

Yep. I am fighting a nap. I don't think I'll be able to fight it that much longer.

Haha, sorry dear. I'm just not with it today.

How dare they?!?! Silly lay-abouts! [lol]

Pfftt Can't find a good balance can you? Either you work your ass off to live comfortably, or you slide by on the seat of your pants it seems.

Eh as long as you find some enjoyment in it along the way....

Steel, we know you've been up to your eyeballs with your work. I'm hoping you're enjoying it and finding it fulfilling! :)

Hahaha, yeah, so, so busy. Apparently the first year of teaching is like this for everyone. And Academic Decathlon is an extra thing. Like I'll be up at the school until 8pm on Monday next week and Monday and Tuesday of the week after that just for Aca Deca. But we have our invitational meet and two mini meets in November.
But I love my Aca Deca kids, and I am starting to get into my stride, so I'm not nearly so stressed. Just busy.
But thank you Izumi! *hugs*

Lol, Amane.