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Children
I couldn't think of a better title, so bear with me.
As a kid, I wasn't exactly what you could call... Skinny. I had severe depression going on, along with a lot of other factors in my life, so I gained a lot of weight. My grandparents and great grandparents all made sure I knew that, too. Telling me how I'd feel better if I lost weight, even buying diet pills for me to try out (I never took them, that's a bunch of bull crap). Now, I believe that obesity in childhood is a problem, I really do. But... shouldn't there be kind of a limit on how much people push children like this? It ruined my self esteem, and I still struggle with it today, though I am relatively skinny and healthy now. What do you think about this? |
Parents can be awful for using the shaming technique to try and get their children to do what they, the parents, think they should be doing. Be that picking up their room, eating their vegetables, doing their homework, or losing weight... Are humans never going to realise that support, help and understanding is better that royally screwing a person's esteem up for their entire life...[headdesk]
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I have had the same issues my whole life - I'm over weight even now.
And I agree that shaming is not the way to go - some kids are just overweight... and pointing that out really is going to mess with self esteem. You're so not alone with having a lowered self esteem that is hard to deal with and is a constant daily struggle. That's how it is for me too. It's a daily struggle for me, and most people don't see it, but it's something that I know that I hate about myself - that I have this inability to lose weight no matter what I do - and the fact that I still have people who point it out and in a way make fun of me, even though I'm in my 20's... :/ It just is something that really bothers me. And sometimes makes me want to scream at them to shut up - that I know that I eat more than I probably should, but excuse me for being hungry. That they say I should exercise more - but I have to be careful as I have asthma that loves to act up when I least expect it. All I want is support, and they're giving me the opposite of that, even if they think that they are trying to support me. [yes] |
I think that fat-shaming, especially towards young children is really problematic... From the experiences shared so far it's obvious that it has negative effects and doesn't help solve the problem at all. Well meaning family members (And heck, even strangers if we're being honest), often times go about things the wrong way. There is a focus on losing weight, being skinny, etc... When to focus should be on eating right, getting active, and being supportive of children who are overweight. An article I read awhile back wrote about a study that was done that found when individuals are not pestered about their weight, and encouraged to make healthier choices regardless of their weight, that hey! They actually lose weight and make healthy choices - where the opposite, mentioning weight, offering weight loss solutions, etc... lead to weight gain and poor health choices. And don't even get me started on people who 'just care about your health'. I think they forget that mental health is important too. |
My mom still fat shames me sometimes. When I tell her that it isn't right, she becomes very defensive and says that she isn't 'fat-shaming' me and says that she is 'just concerned for me'. I understand where her concern is coming from (her side of the family has a medical history of cardiovascular diseases and my grandma had died from colon cancer complications) but telling me that I'm fat and I need to loose weight in front of people, its pretty humiliating. I'm still a little overweight now, though I've started running on the treadmill as much as I can and started cutting down my portions. That lost self-esteem isn't going to go away, though; I've gone through some depressing moments when she fat-shamed me. I still feel fat, even though I'm at a healthy weight, according to my doctor.
I also used to participate in a lot of sports as well, like taekwondo, soccer and swimming, so my frame is a little more muscular than my sister (who is pretty skinny), but I don't think I'm fat at all. Just a little more lean muscle than most people. |
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