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-   -   Ongoing Tale of Drevin Warmarked. Feedback most welcome. (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=57038)

Blaidd_Tywyll 05-08-2007 08:31 PM

Ongoing Tale of Drevin Warmarked. Feedback most welcome.
 
So i've just started this topic because in my other one Drevin came up in one of my landscape stories, and I wanted to actually write out his story. It just didn't make sense, to me, to have it in my Verbal Landscapes topic. So here it goes, and feel free to post feedback or suggestions for future quests(just remember that he's a reluctant hero) or whatever. Onward and Upward!

Blaidd_Tywyll 05-08-2007 08:46 PM

It seems that, most of the time, when one tells of one's life story people want just the good parts. Or rather, they want the adventure, the triumphs, the love interests, and not really what truely makes a man. Always I am asked for tales of the wars I have been in, and always I decline. I am fine with the stories of the distant lands I have travelled, and the great books of learning I have found, or sometimes helped to write. I have no problem with telling of the gods I have met, and sometimes showing the powers I have learned. Such is the life of an academician, and a life of study is all I have wanted.

But in recent years, I have begun to notice that the wars I fought in, the people I cared for, and ideals my companions and I fought for, have all faded and become distorted by time. I am forever correcting the misinformation given about these great conflicts, sometimes misinformation that could lead to a recurrence of those horrific times. Our neighboring countries do not practice demon-worship, any more than it is practiced here by our own spellcasters. They are not populated with human/moster cross-breeds, perpetuated by some twisted arcane monarch. Such things as I encountered were generally isolated mistakes in the continuing flow of history. Perhaps mistakes made before, and maybe to be made again, but by no means are they horrors continuously visited on us by the same person or people. This is the distortion that a century or three can make in history. A distortion that I must do what I can to correct. Even if it means that I must finally re-visit and record all that I have been and done. So be it.

Blaidd_Tywyll 05-08-2007 09:15 PM

Chapter 1 ensues
 
*This night, as all nights of portent seem to be, was marked by a raging storm sweeping over the helpless town of Midvale with all the force nature could muster. All night the winds howled through the town, and all night the lightning crashed. Houses were flattened, and most of the townsfolk had long since gathered in the stone church in the center of the village, the only building sturdy enough to withstand the anger of the storm. Even more for their hope of protection, a wizard of some power had taken residence next to the church. It seemed that even wizards held the gods in regard, and this one had built his tower next to the church to help as a caretaker. All night he worked tirelessly to keep the old building standing against the force of the wind. He stood side by side with the cleric who chanted his prayers with no less fervor.

In the morning, the cleric and wizard continued their struggles, but with the storm passed, they worked to help tend the injured and find the missing. So it was that one of the farmers homes had been the first to fall in the storm, and none had been able to escape to the safety of the church. All the family lay buried under the rubble. The wizard Cosen looked with near despair at the ruin of the town he had come to. All his power had not been enough to keep them all safe. As he turned from the rubble, and the bodies that were buried, a faint cry came from one of the jumbles of wood. The cry of a child. As he scrambled among the splinters and boards, he prayed to his god that the child was ok. Lifting the fallen piece of wall with unexpected strength, Cosen found himself looking down at a child, perhaps a year or two old.
" Who knew this family?" Cosen lifted the child in his arms, and turned his gaze on those nearby. "What is this childs name?"
A young burly man, the blacksmith's apprentice, stepped toward the ruined house. " I think this were the Timmus' house. He'd be about the right age for their new boy, Drevin."
"Drevin. Drevin it is, and I'll raise you for my own." Cosen looked down with mingled sorrow and joy. The family had been lost, but this innocent babe would have his chance at life.*


Ok, so there is the intro/beginning of chapter 1. And I don't know how I feel about using the cliched 'dark and stormy night' but I tried to make it more palatable, since that's how I really see Drevin becoming the wizards apprentice. Anyway, I'm still filling in the details as I go, so there is always room for improvement.

Blaidd_Tywyll 05-09-2007 08:19 AM

Chapter 1 continues
 
After nearly ten years of life with a wizard, Drevin still was often confused as to the true nature of the relationship. Cosen was the only father Drevin had known, but many times there was much the feel of a student and teacher. As such, it was seemingly a natural extention of that odd dual-natured relationship that Drevin begin acting as an apprentice. And yet, when Drevin asked if he was to help in Cosens studies and his work, Cosen said it should not be. Everytime Drevin asked, Cosen became more agitated on the subject, until Drevin finally decided to speak to the beloved cleric, his 'uncle' Gerat, about it.

"Why doesn't father wish me to help him? Am I unsuited for wizardly studies? Not acceptable to learn arcane studies? Why?" Drevins final cry came almost as a whine of despair. Gerat felt his heart melt in the face of Drevins tear-stained query. He heaved a big sigh. It must come out sometime.
"Your father does not feel it his place to make such a choice for you. More than that, you must ask him. If I say more, he would not forgive me." Drevin opened his mouth for more protest, but Cosen held up one hand, "You must ask him." Drevins shoulders fell and he screwed his face up for a good pout, but Gerat once again saw the ploy.
"Out you go! I am sure you have plenty of chores, and the god forgive me if I do not finish mine!"

Celeris 05-10-2007 10:14 PM

I think you got mixed up with the names....

Blaidd_Tywyll 05-16-2007 07:41 AM

Oops, yes I did. Fixed now, tho.

Meko Lara 05-16-2007 02:59 PM

I definately think you have a decent start here. It makes me want to read more, but then again I was hooked after the first section xP


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