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-   -   People are most beautiful...(Short story) (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=58804)

Furogane 05-24-2007 06:17 PM

People are most beautiful...(Short story)
 
People are Most Beautiful, Right before they Die

It's quite amusing really. The human mind is such a weak place. So full of thoughts, insanity seems to be a sanctuary for those who know they are weak. A lie really. A lie they hide themselves in, taking shelter in their imagination. Pathetic.

I can just hold this gun to her head and she'll start crying, begging for my mercy. Mercy may have been humane back then, but now I don't feel I can regret it. Feeling her blood splatter against my hand, watching her eyes goes suddenly lifeless, seeing her fall to the ground, half of her face blown apart. I remember the giggle I felt rising from my throat. But I couldn't stay to laugh at her sprit I had to run.

I cursed my carelessness later that evening, while the sunset was just beginning, I don't make mistakes, it was just a plan I hadn't read. Who knew she had a daughter, or a husband for that matter. Humans are foolish in that way.

Keeping their loved ones close. How foolish.that just means they're easier to track.

Oh well, it wasn't like I had any other tasks for this evening. All I had to do was grab that weapon and stream out of the hotel room. Pity though, I was looking forward to my meal.

As I slinked through the streets, making sure those few who knew me didn't and couldn't spot me. The building wasn't too big, pretty small for 'their' kind of people. The door was already open, a slash mark staining their door, looking familiar. I can keep that feeling for long. I ran up the stairs, barely making a sound. Running sounds too heavy for what I was doing, it was more of a float. My feet barely touching the floor.

I paused in front of the door. The hairs on my neck reaching for the sky, I wasn't the only one here.

Carelessness.again.

I kicked the door open, it falling to the ground with one of those crashes that just tell you that you've burst into silence.

That's when I saw her. Her long purple hair, flicking around as she turned to face me. Her black top barely covering her fair skin, her tattered trousers, those very ones that I'd used to aim at on our last encounter.

Her perfect lips curled into a snarl, her eyes so narrowed you couldn't see their heavenly blue. She turned, in the process cutting the mans head off. That man, his eyes stopped flowing with tears. She simply didn't seem to care. Giving me the impression she'd been toying with the man before I'd burst in. She lunged at me, her hair gracefully flowing behind. I aimed my gun and pulled the trigger, she seemed to jolt in mid-air as it hit her, her eyes faded over and she hit the wall, dropping to the floor, landing in a puddle of the blood she'd split.

I walked over and shot at her face a few times, completely destroying that face that scarred my mind. I then crouched to the ground, my breathing nearly non-existent as I picked up her sword, holding it by my forefinger and thumb; just dangling over what I thought had been a heart. I let go, slowly turned and walking out.

It's quite amusing really. The mind is such a weak place. So full of thoughts, it seems to be a sanctuary for those who have found they are weak. A home really. A home they hide themselves in, taking shelter in their imagination. Pathetic.

The Mystical Spoon 05-24-2007 06:22 PM

O.o The brutality is awe inspiring. Miss Mantle should have told you to write A NOVEL by twenty ten! Be more interesting than any I ever will.

sakayora 05-24-2007 06:25 PM

Wow! Very nice!

There are a few words that are mispelled and make go, "Huh?" but other than that, this is an excellent piece! <3 Are there any more chapters to this? I'd love to read them!

Furogane 05-24-2007 06:43 PM

Wha..Spoon what are you talking about?

Sakayora, thanks, this hasn't got any other chapters, I'm working on this one still, I just wanted to see what everyone thinks of this so far...I think theres alot more I can do with it.

The Mystical Spoon 05-24-2007 06:46 PM

She told you to be prime minister, but she told me to be a novelist, I think you should be the writer here.

Furogane 05-24-2007 06:55 PM

Ah but I AM going to be a novelist...that's the difference.

The Mystical Spoon 05-24-2007 07:15 PM

Just as well, but remember: proof-reading is your friend.

Kasana 05-24-2007 10:18 PM

Thats amazing, what can I say, its detailed, lengthy and very well written. Though you made a few grammatical errors, its all good.

sychobunny 05-24-2007 10:37 PM

Not that many errors really.
Feeling her blood splatter against my hand, watching her eyes go suddenly lifeless, seeing her fall to the ground, half of her face blown apart. I remember the giggle I felt rising from my throat. But I couldn't stay to laugh at her spirit. I had to run.

Carelessness. Again.



I like the brutality as well, visual, but psychological. Nice mixture. Whatever you wish to do with this I'm sure will be great. ^.^

sakayora 05-25-2007 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Furogane
Wha..Spoon what are you talking about?

Sakayora, thanks, this hasn't got any other chapters, I'm working on this one still, I just wanted to see what everyone thinks of this so far...I think theres alot more I can do with it.

Awwww. ;-;

And yes! There's a lot of potential in this piece! -^^- I can't wait to see what you do with it. :3


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