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-   -   A poem I wrote, just looking for feedback (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=60266)

Bribble 06-05-2007 03:05 AM

A poem I wrote, just looking for feedback
 
I just wrote this, I'd like some feedback :D

Tell me a story, lead me away
Let me hear all that I want you to say
Ask me a question, smirk as I squirm
'No, I can't tell you', but please remain firm
Read me a poem, wind in the reeds
The sun can't get through the mad tangle of weeds

I'm waiting, just waiting for reasons to write
Reasons to laugh, cry, sing, blush and fight
'She's a nut, but we love her' Is that what I've got?
Do I really need more than soft levels of thought?

Take it easy and listen, the day is still light
The stars will be bright when the clouds clear tonight

Sun 06-05-2007 01:13 PM

I think its very nice. I especialy like the last two lines.

Bribble 06-06-2007 02:49 AM

Thank you

Harvard Mint 06-07-2007 03:13 AM

I LOVE IT!! you are a natural. much better than me.

Bribble 06-07-2007 12:33 PM

Yay, thank you so much for saying that :oops:


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