Seeking some kind of jusitfiable help...
 

Okay. So here's the lowdown on my life issues. Nobody really has to help. But i figured why not? This is how i solved my last string of problems, by asking complete strangers on an online forum.(weird huh?) So here I go.

First, my mom is sick. I'm sick as well. I can't get a job because nobody wants to hire a sick person. my mom is totally having trouble paying the bills. I'm failing in school. My older siblings live in different states and couldn't care less about me or my mom. My mom doesn't have medical insurance so we can't afford to get treated for our sicknesses. My best friend is acting like some kind of jerk off because he met these two really great people online through a site that I introduced him to. And now he totally ignores me because I have paranoia issues with talking to people I haven't met in person first. He's also mad at me because the other two people don't want to talk to him since i won't talk to them. And to top it all off, my ex is bugging me about hanging out with him as friends even though I don't play the whole 'friends with my ex' game. and he's bugging me because i won't abandon my principals that i've built my life on just for him. So how should i handle this minagery(spelled wrong. oh well) of issues that are currently plaguing my life? Any help would be appreciated.

Sometimes asking complete strangers is a good thing to do. I hope we can help you in some way.

I sympathize with you greatly in regards to being sick. Luckily for me, I work in a family business. When I was seriously ill back in my high school years (I'm functional now, and haven't missed work from illness in almost two years), it was almost as if I'd work for a month straight with no problems, then I'd be unable to work for a few weeks right after. If I had been working at a "regular" job, I'd definitely have been fired. No one can hire someone whose physical health is undependable, no matter how good of a worker they are (when they're able to do it).

I dropped out of my senior year and simply did my studies on my own because I was so ill. I went in long enough to take tests, and that was it. I graduated on time with honors, if I remember correctly. My grades were a lot better than anyone had expected, considering I'd been absent more than present.

So I sympathize, and my heart does reach out for you because I know what a predicament you're in mentally and physically right now. As for suggestions... let me see what I can offer.

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Never mind your best friend and ex-boyfriend for now. I don't mean this to sound callous, but right now that's the least of your problems. You're failing in school, and you guys are behind in bills. Those take first priority. Friendship is good, but that alone can't keep a roof over your head, even though the love and care would if it could. I'm sure in time it will smooth over with him. I'm not sure about your ex, but the fact that you've said you don't want to go hang out and play the "friends with ex" game, then you stick to your guns and don't let him influence you.

More importantly is your personal situation with school and your money woes.

I don't know where you live. I do know that in the United States, low income families can get assistance. Surely there has to be something out there for you.

Since I moved out, I am on a state insurance that is free for me save for very very small fees ($3 to have a doctor's appointment since I'm over twenty-one). I know not all states in the US offer this, but it's something to research.

I have a friend who lives in England who gets housing benefits since she's currently ill herself.

There must be something out there, especially since it's a two-person household (I am correct in assuming this, right?), and one of those people is a minor (again, I am only assuming this... if I am wrong, I apologize).

Have there been any hopes for assistance? What have you been told about it? ._.

Free clinic? And if you're still talking to your ex doesn't that imply you're still friends, or friendly, at least? Guys can get the two confused pretty easily, so if you don't want to be friends, then don't talk to him more then you have to.

@chiairen hoshino-Well my mom and i have been going to the local library to look things up online. but we can't find anything. We tried getting disability because of the fact that my mom has hearing problems as well as sight problems. but we were turned down for it.(i have A.D.D.) but that's only part of the illnesses me and my mom are facing. I've been fighting pneumonia, a major(and apparently impossible to treat) sinus infection. and since we are both on some kind of payroll. we can't get unemployment. i've missed 3-5 days of school out of every week for the last month because of my sinus. plus i have problems breathing.(not because i smoke). we tried asking the church for money. but they could only spare canned goods donated to them. we tried getting state insurance too. apparently, we live in a state that doesn't offer it. yes it is a two person house-hold. but we're not minors. i'm 22.(failing because i was held back many years due to poor grades and attendance)

@trinxie- i already tried calling my siblings. they said they can't help me because i'm too far away.(load of lies) and they all have certain major issues with my mom. so they're currently avoiding her. they think her illnesses and such are just in her head. but they don't know because they don't live here and haven't seen her. i have a few major infections in my sight and breathing areas and an attention disorder.

@clevernamepending- We don't have any free clinics near where we live. they're all in the city and we live in the suburbs. and i'm not talking to my ex. he's talking to me. he still has the house phone number.(changed my cell number) and he lives four blocks away. I did have him escort off the premisis once by a friend of mine(who happens to be the mailman). and he was told if he ever came back, he'd be arrested for harrassment. but his head is harder than solid steel. he hasn't been back to the house. but he keeps calling. i've had my cell number changed three times because he keeps getting the new number. we tried getting in contact with our phone company, but we haven't had much luck.

it does make me a feel a little better knowing that there are still people out there who are willing to try and help. but, as chi said...feeling better about that isn't going to keep a roof over our head...

May I ask what state you're in? I'd like to help you find some links.

I just asked my fiance if he knew anything about US-wide benefit programs, and he's about as in the dark as I am. I'm in Maine, so I have an idea of what's available. He lived in Wisconsin his whole life before moving out here, and he said he can't think of a thing that was available then.

There's gotta be something out there besides disability, but I really have no other suggestions without knowing the state you live in. ._.

Hi. Sorry it took so long to get back. I've been caught up in our problems. I had to take care of my mom. I even had to stay home from school for it. We're in Michigan. We have a friend that works for the Michigan State government. So we asked him if he knew anything(after trying to get a hold of him for like a month) He finally got back to us three days ago. He was no help. The only thing he suggested was having me try to move back down to Missouri and live with my other family half. But I can't/won't do that. After displaying many times that they couldn't care less about me, I really don't think me showing up suddenly and saying I need a place to live is going to help. My mom considered it saying that at least one of us would be able to survive. But I can't leave my mom out there in the blue like that. Then he suggested that I try to think of myself only and let him take care of my mom. But I've never really truly trusted him before. His has this thing for my mom that she doesn't exactly share and he's one of those "I always get what I want" type guys who thinks that he's protected because he works for the government. So I really can't do that. My Mom's never really been one to stand up for herself in those types of situations. I've always been the shield for my mom and she's always been the pillow for me to fall back on when I get hurt. And now that we're both hurting, neither of us really has the strength to pull apart in order to help ourselves or the other.(That's the shortened version) I appreciate that you're trying to help. I looked into some things again after reading your last post. I still haven't had much luck though.

http://www.michigan.gov/dhs/0,1607,7...5420--,00.html
This is for low-income heating/energy help. I'm not sure if you've been here already or not, but it's worth double-checking.
http://www.sustainable.doe.gov/profiles/Michigan.htm
This is another link for other low-income heating/energy assistance programs.

http://www.hud.gov/apps/section8/ste...te=mi,michigan
I do not know where you live right now, whether an apartment or a house. If you live in a house and are having trouble making the payments, maybe you need to look into this. It may not be all that desirable, but you've made it clear that you're not leaving your mom's side (not that I blame you in the least, mind), so in order to make things work, you guys will probably have to change your lives around.

http://www.healthinsuranceinfo.net/mi05.html
Low-income health insurance information. I really hope this one is helpful.

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These are the links I've found thus far. I really don't know how much income is generated in your home or not, but if you're making more than the guidelines suggest and still unable to pay the bills, you may need to look into moving into a subsidized area. It may help for you and your mother to sit down and look at all of the monthly purchases you both make and see if anything can be removed. Internet, cable television, etc.

At least until you both get on your feet and financially secured. I wish you both the best of luck, and I'm sorry things are so difficult right now. I hope they get better, and I hope they get better soon.

Thanks Chiairen. I haven't tried those sites yet. so we'll try them out next time we can make it to the internet. we don't have internet. we have to use the one at the library. we have a small television set and no phone. we don't even have cell phones. we used to have a friend that let us use her phone. but then she moved away. so my mom forwards the calls to her work. we make barely enough money between the two of us to afford food costs on top of the rent. we live in an apartment. luckily, the electric and heating costs are covered in our rent. so we don't have to pay them. but its hard to cover rent and food with my mom's illness keeping her from working and me only working maybe two days a week and not even that some times. I appreciate all of your help. i'll let you know if the sites you gave me help. we need all the help we can get. and yeah. i refuse to leave my mom even if the heavens shake and split the sky.(phrase from one of our favorite songs) she says to tell you hi and thank you for trying to help us. good reliable help has been so hard to come by recently. I really do appreciate it.

Here are some links that may help you:

Department of Human Resources (DHS) - Medical Services.

Specifically note the Health Care Programs for Adults - following that link, you will want to note the "Adult Medical Program (AMP)" paragraph - you may qualify for it.

If you can make your way to the local Health Department, you may be able to get some medications necessary - it may be a long drive, but it may be worth it. Try to get ahold of a phone and give both DHS and the Health Department a call. Perhaps a trustworthy neighbor can help you out there.

Earned Income Tax Credit

This tax benefit may turn up some extra money for you both as it is applicable (from what I've read) for anybody who works.

Angel Food Ministries

If you can locate a group near or in your town, this may significantly help for food costs. The ministry gives a wide range of foods from canned goods to meats. For a family of 2, money spent here for food can last a full month. I've gone through this service - it is wonderful. Don't let the "religion" aspect hold you back - this is a good will service and if it can help you, please check it out!

I really apologize for this abrupt cut-off but I have to go, unexpectedly. I don't know how much help I can provide but I'll look into some more links for you guys.

I was wondering how you had access to the Internet, but now it all makes sense. I figured you had to be using it at a library or something since you're not online that often.

Tell your mom I said hi as well, and that she's very welcome. I hope that you guys can figure something out. Mahinva's links should provide helpful, too!

I really want the best for you guys. Especially with your mother's illness, you guys need as much help as possible.

Here are some more links; hopefully they're more hit than miss.

Bridge Card (Food Stamps)

As I don't know what county you're in, I couldn't get past the county selection link.

As for you missing school due to sickness: have you tried speaking to the principal to arrange a modified schedule where you can be given all materials to study at home, and then take the test at school under supervision?

Community Voice Mail

This service can provide you with a touch-tone phone and instructions. You then set up a simple voice message and if you need someone to contact you, you will give them the CVM number which apparently operates like a standard telephone number therefore providing you with a way to receive and retrieve messages. They have 1 location in Michigan and that is Detroit. Here is the direct link

Charity Navigator

I did a quick search by typing the keyword "Michigan" and got 134 charities. I don't know where you're located but you may find a charity here that can help you.

Charities Guide

This page has so many towns and cities in Michigan listed - this looks like a great resource.

Licensed Charities within Michigan (Government page)

This is the general page link.

Here's the .pdf listing of all charities

The current .pdf has over 300 pages so I suggest doing a search for either your town name or a larger, nearby town. On my version of Adobe, there is a toolbar on the left-side of the document. There is a binoculars icon which will bring up the keyword search function. 300 pages is too much to read through, especially when the document is alphabetically organized by charity name - not town name.

This is so awesome of you, Mahinva!

I hope these help out, Sassandra. Let us know when you can. :3

I'm just trying to help out, like you. :)

Really though, there ought to be some local group or government organization out there to help out. Probably through DHS somewhere; would just have to call to speak to someone who is genuine and has patience.

As Chiairen Hoshino said - let us know ^_^

Thanks everyone! I've got my work got out for me in checking into all these things that you've all been so helpful with! But not just yet! My mom decided I needed to go to the hospital whether or not we could afford it. She's taking me there tomorrow after I get out of school(assuming I can even go.) I had trouble breathing again today so I didn't go to school or work. My mom took me to the library so I could show her the sights you gave me. She says thanks. She's checking some of them out on the next computer. But we can't stay for long because of my breathing and her sickness. Thank you Chiairen! Thank you Mahinva! Thank you so much! I will let you know how everything goes! You're both the best!

We'll be waiting for you and wishing for the best. <3 Good luck at the hospital. I hope you can get treated. ;_;

(For the record, I had surgery I couldn't pay for and the bill was omitted because of it. I hope you can get your bill omitted too! In the rooms at the hospital I last went to said it's against the law [but again, I'm in Maine] to not treat someone who can't pay.)

As far as I know, it is an obligation to treat those in need. Most, if not all hospitals have various payment plans, or if you get lucky, can omit the cost totally. It would be worth asking that hospital - that's for sure.

Take care and best wishes!

Hey girls! There was a slight change in plans and my mom took me in last night about 2 in the morning. i just got home about an hour ago. we're back to to finish checking those sites. The hospital struck a deal with us. they waved the cost of the hospital visit if we agreed to pay for the prescription for my muscle relaxants. the doctor said it should help keep my heart and lungs keep from getting too out of control. I'm feeling better already! oh and we tried that Community Voice Mail thing. My mom tried it while I was in the resting in the hospital. We're set up on that now! Thanks so much for that! my mom's checking out the charities lists. we have an interview with a representative from that low income health insurance site you gave us Chiairen. You girls have been really helpful! I promise to keep you posted.(now if we can just get my mom to go to the hospital for her.) She developed a fever and it's slowly getting higher. i'm in the process of trying to get her to go home and go to bed. i know a few mild home cures for fevers. but they don't always work depending on how high the fever is. Thanks again. I'll keep you in touch with how everything goes!

This sounds icky, but it's an old folk remedy that I know works.

If you're getting ill from a high fever, an enema helps. It flushes the toxins out of the body. They say back in the day when there weren't antibiotics, that's how it was done sometimes.

If her sinuses are messed up too, she may wanna consider it since it's low-cost. It'd be worth a shot I suppose.

I'm so happy you guys are off to a good start. Please keep in touch! I hope that soon everything will be okay for you both.

I'm so glad to hear about some of those links being helpful! <3

For the deal the hospital made with you: If you haven't gotten the medication yet, make sure that the pharmacy fills the prescription using a generic - generic alternative should be available, and would be cheaper. Most pharmacies use generic by default unless the medication is too new for generic companies to start manufacturing or if the patient specifically says they don't want generics.

Try not to forget the Angel Food Ministries - that is the one thing I've had experience with, and though it was through my local branch, the food received is standard (the menu is nationwide from what I know) and it's well worth it.

I'll keep searching for links if you need anything specific - at the least, try and save you and your mother rooting around (and generally save you time.)

Well I'm actaully a bit of cook. so i sort of make my own cures out of basic things like fruits and old school herbs that i grow in the garden beneath our apartment window. My mom's home resting now. An old friend of mine from the few short years of the seventh circle of hell livin with my dad came up to see me. she's my best friend from down there and she agreed to sit home with my mom while i look some things up online real. i won't be on for the rest of the night after i get off today. but hopefully, i'll be back tomorrow. i believe in those hold herbal treatments they talk about in midevil times. i make my own out of herbs i planted in the yard. but i'll try the enema too. Thanks! I should be back tomorrow!

I really appreciate the help. I'll check into that tomorrow. Right now, we've still got some food left over from the donation from our church. but we'll look into it. I promise! I gotta go now. my friend came up to see me and i don't wanna desert her. she's so great sitting with my mom so i could come back to finish our checks for the day. be back tomorrow!

We had that interview today. I think it went pretty good. But I never trust my feelings. We were told to wait because they would get back to us during the normal workweek some time. I hope it's soon and good. I'm feeling better. But my mom isn't. She's getting worse. The doctors think she needs to take anti-depressants. But she doesn't trust them so she's fighting every speck of it. I don't know how to talk her into doing what she needs to in order to feel better. I had a nice visit with my friend.(still having problems with my current so called best friend) On the plus side, we managed to get support from a local good will store. they gave us a ton of food(including seeds and stuff to plant for my herb garden :)~) This is a good sign right? This means things looking up for us right? or should I hold my tongue until things have done a complete 180 for us? it's my curse in life...

If they don't call back in a few days, try giving them a call to make sure they haven't forgotten about you - they shouldn't get offended and hopefully they'll see how much the interview means for you and your mother. Definitely makes sure the ball keeps moving on that one. :)

I am glad you're feeling better, and hope your mother improves. Is the "getting worse" relating to the fever, the depression, or both? If it's the depression, how often does she go outside, and for how long? I remember reading somewhere that being outside for at least 15 minutes a day can boost how you feel - (I don't recall the medical aspect of it). Some form of exercise may help too because it can increase levels of serotonin, where low levels can contribute to depression as well as a number of other general imbalances. See here for a bit more.

I'm glad you got to visit one of your friends - I know the time spent talking to or seeing them can make a huge difference in general outlook (as it does for me.) I would be happy with the change in direction so far, and just continue to plug away with what you have to make sure it sticks around. The seeds are awesome - so long as you take care of the herbs, you'll have a long-lasting source!

Just keep your head up and look forward; don't spend time doubting or worrying as it is better spent on making sure things continue progressing! ^___^