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-   -   The Madhouse: Manners manditory. Sanity optional. (https://www.menewsha.com/forum/showthread.php?t=64630)

Sheogorath 07-30-2007 06:41 PM

The Madhouse: Manners manditory. Sanity optional.
 
Good evening, or morning, or afternoon, or eternity! As I'm sure you are aware, the majority of forumgoers here are of the mammalian species, Homo Sapien, a bipedal apelike creature known for its hairlessness, its social nature, and the invention of clingwrap and slapstick comedy.

If you were paying attention - and heaven help you if you were, you really shouldn't listen to anything I have to say - you will have noticed the word 'social' is listed in that description. This means that "human beings", as they like to be called, enjoy each other's company. Or require each other's company to feel healthy. That difference can be a considerable one...

Ah, well. No matter.

Anyway. First, there must be rules. Homo Sapiens are known to do terrible things if they are not taken in hand with rules, so here are some for your delectation.

1) Obey our gracious hosts, the tiny people. Or perhaps they are people who are interested in tiny things. Or perhaps they are a pun. Anyway, follow the TOS or I boot your scrawny arse out of here. This is my house and I'll not have it taken down just because you can't keep your junk in your trunk.

2) Attempt to converse, despite abandoning logic if you have done so. "How are you?" will do, but as I have regulated that sanity is purely optional, the question, "Where have all the little lizards got to?" is perfectly fine. However, this will not be a random chain of meaningless posts. It will be a conversational chain of meaningless posts (much like most other chats, come to think of it.) So, the prudent Madhouse visitor will kindly answer the question posted above him. You may answer, "What little lizards?" or, "I think they've got into the milk," or, "MY EAR! MY EAR! THE LIZARDS ARE IN MY EAR!" although I do request that you keep your voices down even when hallucinatory animals are invading your bodily orifices. As long as they are following the TOS.

3) No pants.

4) Dresses, skirts, shorts, skorts, loinclothes, capris, or a complete and total lack of hindquarters are perfectly acceptable.

X) Actually, you can wear the pants as long as you don't refer to them. It might scare someone is all.

5) Fire stays in the fireplace.

6) Fire stays IN the fireplace!

7) People, small animals, and objects other than firewood stay OUT of the fireplace.

8) Looks like a little man wearing sunglasses. It also looks a little bit like a sleepy, smug person who has only the blackness of a starry night inside their huge eyesockets.

9) Your name is not Susan. If your name is Susan, you are to change it to something with fewer 'S's, immediately and with as little fuss as possible.

Y) Actually, your name can be Susan. If your name is Susan, and you really don't want to change it (even if we give you a new one for free,) just don't mention that you didn't read the rules. And for heaven's sake, you better not mention your pants.

10) Whenever you read, write, or are a piece of great literature, leave a few pages here for goats.

11) Now scroll up the page and disregard everything after rule three, except for the bits about fire. And for this rule.

12) Rule eleven is optional.


Any questions? Ask them. What you get might actually register to you as an answer.

Arcaica 07-30-2007 07:14 PM

Wow that is one big introductory message! I like it congrats! And Sorry If i messed up your posts.... but you can tell me if you want it removed.

Sheogorath 07-30-2007 07:24 PM

Nope, you did fine. In fact, if you could point me to the text which led you to believe you might have done so, please do. By no means do I want you to remove your post, or yourself, as you seem like a polite and pleasant young man (I do hope you are a man, the gender differences of these avatars are not extremely pronounced.)

And if you have anything to give the goats, it would be greatly appreciated. The other day I left them the witches trialogue from the Scottish Play, but it made them sick. Something a little less demonic would probably set them aright, but please, no Ethan Fromme. I would like them to stay alive.

Arcaica 07-31-2007 05:20 PM

Yes... Im a guy.
And yes, i do have somthing... i was going to recycle theese, but i could find a better way to do it..
*grabs some aluminium cans*
Here..

Sheogorath 08-08-2007 11:53 PM

Why, thank you.

Sorry for my absence, by the way. Haven't been myself lately.

*Takes the cans in hand, concentrating. There is a puff of purple smoke, and in his hands are sitting two toads. The toad on the left begins screaming.*


Toad 1: AAAAAGH! I'M SELF-AWARE!!!

*The toad on the right rolls its eyes, throat moving in and out.*

Toad 2: No you're not.

Toad 1: YES, I AM! I... I'm AWARE of myself... I KNOW I'm HERE! I have an identity... yes, yes! I think I'm Bob!

Toad 2: Okay, Bob; then kindly shut up about it. *Tongue snaps out at a nearby fly.*

eleman 08-10-2007 03:20 PM

hey people you have lots of things to say it making my head spinned :P

Sanctuary 08-10-2007 08:19 PM



The trees grew from the clouds. I saw them. Well I saw their roots on sunday and their tops today. Was there a whole tree or just half a tree being rotated the little toad in the lake can't tell me.



`Pinkspiders 08-16-2007 07:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sanctuary


The trees grew from the clouds. I saw them. Well I saw their roots on sunday and their tops today. Was there a whole tree or just half a tree being rotated the little toad in the lake can't tell me.



It was raining shrubs not too long ago over here. :3

Alexandrus Gambino 08-16-2007 07:35 AM

Well, hello there....

`Pinkspiders 08-16-2007 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexandrus Gambino
Well, hello there....

You are aware tomorrow is Thursday... right?

Alexandrus Gambino 08-16-2007 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by `Pinkspiders
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexandrus Gambino
Well, hello there....

You are aware tomorrow is Thursday... right?

TODAY is thursday.

nescia 08-16-2007 07:24 PM

I found the first post of this thread really amusing until I reached rule eleven. Now, I'm just confused. ::sighs::

Hello, everyone!

`Pinkspiders 08-16-2007 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexandrus Gambino
Quote:

Originally Posted by `Pinkspiders
Quote:

Originally Posted by Alexandrus Gambino
Well, hello there....

You are aware tomorrow is Thursday... right?

TODAY is thursday.

\
no, today is Thursday next week.

nescia 08-17-2007 08:35 PM

Yay! It's Thursday again! -dances-

Cleopatra16 07-02-2008 04:19 PM

Good afternoon!I may be mad but I am not illiterate.
1. The Mechanical Contrivium never sleeps.
2. The Mechanical Contrivium is immune to poison!
3. The Ancient Greeks believed that drinking from the Mechanical Contrivium would bring eternal life!
4. The Mechanical Contrivium orbits Saturn once every 112 Earth days.
5. Traditionally, every Welsh woman receives a Mechanical Contrivium on her 21st birthday.
6. The Mechanical Contrivium is visible from the moon!
7. The Mechanical Contrivium cannot fly, but it can glide for up to three kilometres.
8. Thirty-five percent of phonecalls made from prison are made to the Mechancial Contrivium.
9. The Mechanical Contrivium was built during the reign of Cleopatra.
10. The Mechanical Contrivium should be kept dry at all times!

Violet_Beauregarde91 07-03-2008 01:48 PM

Hi everyone, mind if I join you? I'm totally insane!! *walks upside down while juggling rockets*

Sheogorath 08-31-2008 10:00 PM

Beware, Violet; that action might result in fire which exists outside of the fireplace.

*Strokes his beard.* However, it would also most likely blow the fireplace up, rendering that rule null and void... *Waves a hand.* You may continue. :)


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