To add on to this, adoption does not solve an unwanted pregnancy. Abortion deals with pregnancy, not children. Any talk of adoption is irrelevant, unless we are discussing what a woman should do with an unwanted child.

Doesn't your religion also teach you about judging others? :\ Your personal opinion of me or my views on abortion is not relevant, so please don't bring it up.
Okay, just because a woman got pregnant accidentally doesn't mean she's a slut who goes around spreading her legs to anyone who asks. BIRTH CONTROL DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK. 50% OF PREGNANCIES HAPPEN WHILE THE MOTHER IS USING SOME FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL. Maybe people will start to read that if I put it in all caps?
I think that the mother's right to her body is more important than the rights of something that can't feel or think or recognize that it HAS those rights. The bottom line is a mother will care if you force her to carry a fetus to term, but the fetus will not.


Uh, if it's human when it first gets a beating heart then what is it before that?
I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not getting you because I can't see any logical reason why having a beating heart makes you a person.


@Mehimaru- It doesn't make you a bad person to not want to have a child. Of course women still have maternal instincts- we're hardwired to have them, we can't just STOP- and some might say that they're actually having an abortion because they realize the best way to protect their child is not to have it at all, because they can't give it the life it deserves.
I'm sorry you can't have kids, but there are already so many in the world you can adopt. If there is anything we do NOT need, it is more.

*raises hand*

That's me! I got preggers with my first while on BC. I was dating ONE person, and I am still with them today..

Pregnancy happens...rather you are being "safe" or not. Nothing is 100% unless you stop having sex all together.

The last four posts have been AWESOME.

@Mehimaru:

I've said it before and I will say it again. In the US alone there are currently half a million children in foster care. over 500,000 children who are waiting for a permanent home with a real mother and father who will not abandon them. If you can't have children, there is your pool, that is where you go. For all of those children who are waiting, you would be a very welcome sight.

I will add to this that, in the US alone, there are a MILLION abortions each year. That's a million unborn children. With mortality rates, I would expect no more then half of these children to live. If you take away abortion right now and force all women to have their unwanted fetuses and place them into adoption agencies.. we're looking at an increase of at least half a million unwanted children in foster care EACH YEAR. In 5 years we would have 2,500,000 children looking for homes. In 10 years we would have 5 MILLION children without families, and being supported by the government, which already has a hard time supporting the 500,000 unwanted children it has today.

How many would you be willing to take? 3? 4? 10? And would you take the older children? The 5 and 6 year olds who are doomed to be moved from family to family because everyone wants a shiny new perfect baby all of their own. Would you take the teenagers who have depression and trust issues because no one wanted them when they where younger and capable of adjusting? Would you take the mixed babies? The half Mexican, half black, half Asian children that would never visually fit into your family?

When I was a child, I had 3 chances to go into foster care. The first time was when I was 6. It was my first memory.. a perfect home, a perfect mother and father, lots of other children around. I have built my whole life to be like that family, to have the big back yard and the field with horses and to be the parents I thought I had when I was 6 years old. Until my brother and I where sent away, because I am Japanese, and he is half Japanese, and they wanted a white child, so it would fit in. It happened over and over again. Til the point the social worker told my mother that me, my brother and sister would be better off living in a shelter with our mother then in a foster home, because no one would ever want to keep us.

Just as you don't agree with the justifications of pro-choicers, I don't agree with the justifications of pro-lifers. I don't agree that every child should be saved and because I know for a fact they won't be. I don't believe pro-lifers have the best interest of the children in mind, I think they have the best interest of their own conscience in mind. How can you justify turning a child's life into a game? Moving it from home to home, letting it always feel unwanted and unloved? Do you truly believe that every aborted child would be taken in by a loving family and cared for and kept? If that's true, you need to look into the reality of unwanted children and the horrors and pain they can go through if even one part of them isn't 'perfect'.

When I had my abortions, I was looking at the welfare of my child. This is ALL I was thinking about. Not the child I wanted to abort, the one that I knew I would have, the one that I wanted to wait for, for the right time and situation. The one I have RIGHT NOW. She's all I thought about. I didn't know who she was or when she would come, but I knew if she came too soon, she would be miserable, like I was growing up. Above all else, I don't wish that life on anyone, even my worst enemies, and certainly not my own child.

Molly, I love you :glomp:

You are a very strong woman and I look up to you :yes:

*applauds Molly's comments* I agree with Keyori. You've been through a lot, and have managed to come through rather well I'd say. :D :hug: Excellent points.

Molly, you deserve a pat on the back and a huge hug, it takes an extremely strong woman to do what you've done. Many, and I can't express that enough, people do not think of their child's future when they have them. Some just go oops I stuck it in and now look what I did! (Thinking of boyfriends friend with his 4 year old monster that he and his girlfriend were not and still are not able to support properly... no body is when they are losing 40% of their checks due to debt)

That aside I recently had a pregnancy scare, 2 missed periods with possible false negative results due to ovarian cysts. Worry not I'm, not just a high chance for other health issues. My boyfriend and I were not and still aren't in the financial situation to have a child. Abortion was high on my list of options and that choice was NOT made easily. The only reason that was not my only choice is that my mother bless her soul was very willing to help out if I was pregnant. She absolutely adores children and just can't wait for her grandkids to start coming along(to the point she was actually rooting for me to be pregnant lol)

The main thing I was thinking about was our capability to support and provide the necessities my child will need as it grows up. Having a kid at this point in my life would be financial suicide. It costs millions to raise a child, and we don't even have a fund started to put aside for the child we want later in life. I don't want to raise a child without being able to give him or her what they need. I don't want my child going through school being called 'trailer trash' because I don't have the money to afford nice things for it. I want the best for my child, not medicore or the worst. When I'm older I will definitely be ready to have a kid, just not now when I don't have the ability to raise it well.

In before the 'practice safe sex' choir starts preaching.

Hey, I'm part of the "practice safe sex" choir! :P

Really though, "safe sex" is what I attribute my lack of spawn to. I use a chemical BC, a barrier, and I have my own messed up hormones that makes it hard for me to have kids in the first place. Therefore, I don't need an abortion, and I consider myself "helping" in reducing the number of abortions needed.

I do recognize, however, that BC does fail (even a tubal ligation can fail!), so I would like to have the option should an emergency arise. Abstinence will no longer work for me--I did that until I was 18 :P--and, sorry to burst anyone's life-bubble, but sex is an important part of my relationship, and as infrequently as I have it, I still think my fiance and I would rip each other apart from getting so cranky as a result of abstaining. To keep this from turning into a trashy romance novel, I'll just say that fooling around doesn't quite do the trick for us either, sometimes you just gotta do a horizontal tango.

I am truly appreciative of all of the strong women here on Mene, and I wish all of you the best in your child-rearing escapades :D

:) That was just a little disclaimer for people who are going to go use condoms/bc/whatnots without knowing any part of my situation other then the fact there was a pregnancy scare where abortion was considered lol.

And like you sex is an important part of my relationship with my boyfriend. I think I would go crazy if we couldn't do that part of our life anymore.

I just read something very interesting in my collage e-book about abortion.

So abortion actually lowered the crime rates in the US.

I could understand that. Fewer unwanted children = fewer children growing up crappy = fewer children likely to be crappy to others, etc. etc.

That's actually a really poor way to word it but I'm having a hard time being as articulate as I'd like to be today Dx

I am for abortion. If you are ready to screw up your life, the "father's" life, and your baby's life, by all means, poop out that watermelon!

i believe its fine
people say its horrible that some humans dont get to experience life
but that was just their fate
as i see it
they weren't meant to be born

Hey guys, sorry I've been gone a few days. It's almost Halloween and I've been playing with power tools, YAY!

Thanks for all the support, it's a really nice change. Most of the time when I tell someone I've had an abortion (let alone 2) they get on my case pretty quick, and I've become a little numb to it. People are willingly blind to the reasons and need for procedures like abortion, and cover their ears whenever someone tries to explain their actions.

People don't always see the reasons behind a woman's choices, and sometimes a woman is ashamed to admit she's had one, and the reasons behind it. I attribute this to fear. It's a reasonable fear, though, and nothing to be ashamed of. I know every woman who's had an abortion had a reason, and, in her own eyes at least, it was likely a GOOD reason. That's all that matters. I do wish, though, there was nothing to be afraid of. Another person's opinion of you isn't what matters. Doing what's right for yourself and your children, present and future, is what's important.

I wasn't trying to impress anyone, but maybe it will inspire other woman who've had the same situation to speak up and share their feelings.

Anyway, getting sappy, sorry. Moving on!

I've been married 10 years and still use birth control. I get the Depo Pravara shots once every 3 months. And there is the same risk as any other birth control that it could fail. I also get a blood pregnancy test before I can get my shot, because it's stopped my monthly cycle and I have no way of knowing if it's failed.

I think everyone who CAN get the pill or afford the shots or rings that they have these days should be using them. The first and best way to prevent unwanted pregnancy is information, but the availability of birth control is a very close second, might even be a tie. Abstinence isn't information, it's willing ignorance. Even if you have NO plans of having sex til after you're married, you should be prepared for the reality of sex and the risks that come with it. Risks of pregnancy and STDs, which are far more common. I would love to see less protesting at abortion clinics and days of silence for unwanted children, and more information drives, pamphlets and free classes dedicated to the facts about sex, pregnancy, birth control and abortion. This is the kind of force that should drive pro-lifers. Stop the problem before it starts.

In Tennesse, and I think most states, birth control is free at a health department. Some have stipulations, rules and guidelines. I know some states require you to get a pregnecy test. Some require drug testing and when I first met my husband and went to get pills, I was required to disclose all of my tattoos to a registry kept by the local police department.. Thankfuly I didn't have any at the time, but I don't agree with this or the drug testing. I think there should be no stipulations on obtaining free birth control. If someone wants to reduce the number of abortions, this is a system error worth fighting against. There is so much more a person can do then hate and incite fear into already frightened young women.

I agree with this, to a degree.
I think the woman should be able to choose if they want the baby or not.
If the child is created by incest or rape, I think that the woman should choose without any problems from anyone.
If the child is 12, then I can see getting an abortion if the child is going to kill her.
But if the child isn't going to kill her, I think she should have it.
I'm sure that a set of parents who can't have children would love to have her child.
Of course, I'm not going to stop anyone from getting an abortion.
It's not my place to decide, unless the child is mine.

In many cases, only if the child looks like the adoptive parents.

i do not think that abortion should be illegal. i think that it is the women's choice and that she, not the law, should make that choice. i believe that there are always going to be people who abuse abortion, just like there is always someone to abuse something. i do not think that we should punish those who do not abuse it by taking away abortion. and if a women is desperate enough, she will do anything so there is no real way to stopping abortion completely even if it is illegal. i don't think that men should be able to "abort" their parental rights just because they do not want the kid. the women have to go through labor and they just have to fund it. i think they got the better side of the deal anyways.

There are fates worse than death.

If having the child will reaffirm this saying, is she not justified in getting an abortion?

I think that abortion should be legal. But, it must have a bunch of exceptions. If it's your fault that you got pregnant, then you shouldn't be allowed to have an abortion. But, on the other hand, if the girl got raped and began pregnant, she should be allowed to have an abortion. I mean, how would it be to be the mother of a child, who's father is someone who raped you???

Also if something wrong is happening during the pregnancy, then you should be allowed to have an abortion.

Oh, and when the woman is going to have an abortion, the father shouldn't be allowed to have a word in the case. It's the woman's decision, and she can do what she want. She shouldn't have permission by the father to get the OK on the case.

This is very bigoted of you; you want to punish women for having sex? Last time I checked, sex is not a crime, so why should there be a punishment?

I agree with Kris, it's extremely bigoted of you.

Again, I challenge all pro-lifers to get themselves pregnant at the wrong time and when they are not financially stable, the challenge is there to see if these same women would still have the "oh, well I'll give it up for adoption or keep it no matter what" mentality.

It's not punishment. Girls know what they are getting into when they have sex; they know the risks. If they are irresponsible enough to not take every precaution necessary to prevent getting pregnant, then they should have to have the baby.

Not counting the rape cases - since that's a completely different story - most girls choose to have sex. If they think they are old enough to make that decision, then they are old enough to face the consequences if they get pregnant. So no, they are not being "punished" for having sex; they would be "punished" for being irresponsible when they had sex. Get on birth control, use a condom...do both. Just don't punish a possible child because of your stupid mistakes.

Do you read at all?!

MollyJean just stated that she did all the precautions; birth control, condoms, whatever and she still got pregnant. Protection isn't infinite protection, they can fail.

Also, it IS punishment. Most women are pressured by men to have sex when they are not ready, or a woman and a man get into such heated passion that they accidently forget the condom. Should they be punished with a baby they cannot afford to keep?

Your logic is flawed, it's like saying all drivers that forget to signal when they are turning should be punished by not only a car crash but a ticket, and I'm pretty sure that most drivers do not signal 100% as they can forget.