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Untitled story (finished!)
The full moon overhead made the deserted house look far scarier then it ever could in the daylight. The squeaking of the gate as it blew in the wind added to the effect. This looked like something out of a children's Halloween book. It was perfect.
I pulled the wagon up the path. It was loaded down with everything I would need. I was happy to find the reminder of my childhood tucked away in the garage, it was proving to be very useful. Tomorrow was Halloween and this house was going to be brought back to life one last time before it was demolished to make way for an expansion of the hospital. I hated that they were going to tear this place down. Every year for as far back as I can remember this was the place to go for an awesome Halloween experience. Apple cider was always kept warm in a witches cauldron until midnight, when some extra 'spice' was added. Skeletons danced on the veranda, candlelight flickered all through the windows, and a car was always blasting something to dance to in the back of the house. I would really miss this place... Ah well, it can't be helped. The most I can do is make sure this year was the greatest Halloween get together of all. One last time before demolition began. My wagon was filled with eerie decorations. Goblets with bats and ghosts all over them, some pewter candlesticks with gargoyles on the base, and an assortment of various odds and ends. It was going to be a long night, but the party tomorrow would definitely be the better for it. As I opened the door I wondered if I should even be here. No one had ever started the day before so it was a break in tradition. This house always stayed unvisited until Halloween day at earliest. I brushed the thought off. Not like it was a set tradition or anything. It was simply the fact that no one had ever given the party this much attention before. I stepped into the foyer and breathed in the musty air. I smiled as I looked around. We never had to bring fake webs or anything, the house furnished them for us. The mantle I sat the candlesticks on was a work of art. Solid wood with intricate vines and flowers adorning it. It looked like a living thing almost. The mirror embedded in it had stood the test of time, not a single crack marred it's surface. We always placed our candles there as the mirror gave us extra light. I secretly hoped someone salvaged it, it would be a shame to loose such a work of art. I jerk my head around. I know I just heard laughing. It sounded like a child. The hairs on my arm rise, as the room gets a chilled feeling to it. I have to go look. This place may be structurally sound for the most part, but there are areas that are dangerous. I shake off the creepy feeling and head for the noise, flashlight leading the way. |
Funny, after all this time I had never noticed that door. At the end of the hallway it stood though, clear as day. It was opened all the way, looking like a strange mouth ready to devour any hapless wanderers. I heard the laugh again. Yup, it was coming from there. It echoed off of the walls as it came up from the basement.
I really should have just skipped school and done this tomorrow, when the sun was up and everything looked a lot less gloomy. But it was to late to turn back now. I knew I couldn't leave without checking this out. I forced my feet to move. Step... step... step. It's getting closer. Step... step... step. There now, that wasn't so hard now was it? I looked down the stairs. They really didn't look safe. I lightly step on the first one. It groans loudly but holds. The same is true for the next step. I slowly climb down, getting a little more sure of myself with each step. I call out to the girl. I realize I haven't heard a peep since I set foot in here. BAM! The door slams shut. I run back up the stairs, panicking. I grab the knob and yank, but it flies off. I feel myself falling backwards in slow motion, but am unable to stop myself. My flashlight slips from my hands, I hear it hit the earth but can not make out where it has landed due to the echo. My heart is thumping loudly, I can hear it as if it were beside my ear. I know I'm shaking. Got to calm down. Everything is okay. I just need to find my flashlight. I get on my hands and knees and start searching. The darkness is absolute. My eyes will not adjust at all. I hear the laughing again and realize it's coming from me this time. The flashlight. I have to find the flashlight. Where is the flashlight? WHY CAN'T I FIND THE FLASHLIGHT? |
The sweat is pouring off of me. I have to calm myself, I know I am no good like this. It's like blind man's bluff I keep telling myself. I slowly calm myself. Inch by inch I search for the flashlight. It has to be around here somewhere.
I hear a noise. It's just a little mouse. They come indoors this time of year. Yes, just a mouse. My hand finally makes contact with something. Oh thank god, it's my flashlight. I push the switch to on. Everything is still black. Damn, it didn't survive the fall. I start sobbing. I can't take this oppressive darkness. Climbing back up that old staircase in the dark is a horrifying thought, but it looks like I will not be given much choice in the matter. I have to try something, and the door seems to be my best bet, even with the missing knob. Still on all fours, I crawl towards where the door should be. Suddenly I find myself being held still. Something had my leg. I pull, but it's holding true. I franticly try pulling free. My other leg is grabbed and I am drug backwards. I can't even scream, my throat is paralyzed. My hands are bound. I know I'm crying out now, my voice finally found, but no one is answering. I hear voices around me talking in hushed tones. What is happening? What do they want with me? Tears are streaming freely down my face now. I have to get away I have to get away I have to get away! I'm screaming, but the hold on my arms and legs doesn't give an inch. Why me? Why why why? |
I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. No one could do anything anymore except strap her down when she got to this point. I looked at the patients chart again now that she was secured. Parker Williams, aged 17 at the time of the accident, 25 now.
Her story had made the news from coast to coast when it happened, everyone was pulling for her. She had been found in the basement of a house that was being demolished. A flashlight held so tightly in one hand that her fingers bled where the steel would not give way. They thought they had found a corpse at first, but she was still alive. If you could call this state alive anyways. She had suffered from claustrophobia, and it was estimated that she had been down there at least 2 days. The total darkness had driven her mad. She constantly lives that day over and over again in her mind now, and has little chance at recovery. |
And it is done. I will tweak it as some things still bug me, but for the most part, it is done. I need a title if anyone has any suggestions, and I will love you forever if you dissect my story and give me some constructive criticism. I know I need it.
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wow that is soo good!I like to write stories but I don't seem to get any better at it though.... Maybe describe a few parts of the story with different and scary or exciting words but I think you are really good at it. If you don't mind, I have a question.How do you get better at writing?I wrote about 100 pages of a really scary accident already and I just didn't seem to see an improvement in my writing.
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