| Izumi |
11-27-2011 04:49 AM |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi
(Post 1770143020)
Are you moving to help your mom out? Or are you moving for the cheaper costs of living? Aaron is/was already being laid off, right? So the job search wouldn't be too bad, as he'd have to do it anyway?
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It's kind of a combination of both, and realizing my parents aren't getting any younger. They're getting by after Joe's death, but I can tell they will never be the same again. It was really hard leaving my mom today, in tears. She said she really appreciated having us there and it meant the world to her. With my brother's death, it's broken her spirit...but it's also broken that wall between us. She doesn't seem to have that harsh exterior and willingness to fight me over petty crap, but at that same time she's really vulnerable and stressed. She must of been smoking a pack a day while we were up there, and numerous times I caught her staring out into the distance forlornly and/or crying.
I'm at the verge of crying just thinking about it...
At the same time Aaron seems pretty stressed out. He understands there is A LOT of work ahead of us, but at the same time he says he's looking at the chance to redefine himself. He's got plans for how he wants to expand the farm both agriculturally and animal wise. Pam absolutely loves it out there, with all the animals. Tristan could care less either way, as long as he has access to an xbox. I'm looking forward to it. Our standard of living will change as I know Aaron will not make as much as he is now when he is working, but the nice thing about my job is it easily moves with me.
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I think with this move the major factor with it is I'm willingly moving back, as opposed to before where I hadn't the choice. Also, I'm bringing Aaron with me and he has been very much my rock through these hard times and our relationship has really changed me for the better. Not only that, but my relationship with my kids. You know the more I think about it, the more once things settle down and money isn't as tight (as the kids grow up, and there's no more child support) I really, truly would like to look into adoption. I almost want to find an older child who has had a hard life, and is really wanting a chance to have a shot at 'normalcy' and a family. I look at Pam for example and she seems so much more grown up for her age and I think A LOT of it is the fact that she's had to go through crap a child shouldn't have to. She has a very much different attitude about life than I did as a child, and she seems to be so much less selfish than I was at her age. I think me living in my bubble at that time had no idea what others were going through to appreciate what I had.
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