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She Becomes a Dot.
I see her across the street
She waves as if to say Hello But does she really mean goodbye? I watch her as she hastly wonders over to me. Her cool soft skin brushes aginst my own blazing hot flesh, As she pulls me into a tight, but tender embrace Her soft lips brush aginst my own I can smell her soft sweet lillac perfume Her peircing blue eyes look into my own dead brown eyes I watch her soft lips twist into a wicked smirk Fear courses though my veins Her cool soft skin peals away Revealing her true form Blazing red flames dance on her flesh I watch in horror as she becomes nothing more than a dot Soon I start to wonder if she was ever really there Or if she was just an illusion But on thing remains I can still smell her lillac perfume |
Oh How lovely!!! <3 did you write it?
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Yeah I wrote it like a year or two ago.
It was part of my assignment. But I really liked it. |
really good and symbolic!
i like it! even though i normally don't like un-rhymed poems, this i really like! |
Thank you!
I'm super happy. I think I'll post a few more poems or something. |
cool! that would be great!
and maybe could you critique my poem? <3 you don't have to though, lawl! it's still on the first page. |
I think it would be more interesting if she disappeared completely, not just a dot. A dot means you can still see her, a small dot. Shes still there. I loved the part, "She waves as if to say hello, But does she really mean goodbye?" Nice job. |
I agree with iViolent. That part really caught my attention. Your work is good. Please post some more.
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